- Hey everybody!
Happy Wednesday and when it's Wednesday here,
what does that mean?
It means I'm on the website and I'm on YouTube.
So if you ask your questions, I've already been on
chattin' with many of you, and I have three questions today
as well as a journal topic from Jessica.
Thank you so much for that Jessica.
It's a cool one that I remember happening,
I remember happening, I remember hearing about it and doing,
I think it was like my freshman year in college
so it's a really cool one.
So stay tuned for that.
Okay first question says, "Hey Katie, sometimes I feel
"like I have an eating disorder because of my behaviors
"and eating or not eating habits.
"Lately it's been really tough for me to sleep, eat,
"and think straight and I was wondering
"if that's part of it.
"I also struggle from PTSD and have had several
"panic attacks this past year.
"I want to turn off my thoughts and unwind,
"but it doesn't feel possible due to current circumstances,
"and I don't have a therapist.
"Love your videos, thanks for all you do."
Now this got a whole bunch of thumbs up.
And for many of you, if you're new,
if there's a question below a video,
a Tuesday video because that's when I gleam
my questions for today's video,
if you really like that question and you're like man,
I struggle with that too and I really wonder,
give it a thumbs up.
This one had so many that I could not,
also the next one also had a lot,
I cannot deny that everybody has this issue and wonders.
And the main question I think here, just to clarify
if any of you are confused, is that this person worries
if they struggle with an eating disorder
because they often struggle to eat and have an appetite.
Now I want to clarify that those are two
very different things.
If we're struggling with PTSD,
we have panic attacks, we have an anxiety disorder
of some sort, we have other stuff going on,
our appetite can be the first thing to go
and the last thing on our mind.
And our lack of eating or inability to eat,
even maybe keep food down, does not always mean
we have an eating disorder.
If you are curious and you want more information
about what an eating disorder is,
I have a video on that where I talk about it
and I even separate them out after that
where I talk about bulimia and anorexia
and EDNOS and what those mean.
But the difference is that when we have
an eating disorder, that's our primary focus.
We think about that all the time
and this sounds more to me like it's your PTSD,
it's you panic attacks that is making it
really hard for you sleep, eat, and just be yourself.
And so I would not worry about it.
I would obviously talk to your doctor
if you have a general practitioner you can see
just to make sure that everything's okay,
and obviously, get blood work done,
make sure that your lack of eating
or maybe you know skipping meals
and eating other things hasn't affected anything
and you're doing okay.
But it doesn't sound to me like this is an eating disorder.
It sounds like this is your PTSD
and it's just making it really difficult, okay?
Now question number two, and this is also one
that got a lot of thumbs up.
It says, "Hey Katie, is it normal to feel
"addicted to my depression?"
Good question.
"I feel like it's part of me and I don't know
"what I'd do without it or even if I want
"it to go away however crazy that sounds."
Now there is so much I could talk about on this,
but the main thing I want to say is that
depression is not an addiction.
It's an illness, it's a mental illness.
So although it can feel like a comfort
because many people will argue
that the way that we think and that downward spiral
I talk about, kind of going to that dark place of thinking,
can kind of over run us and we almost get
so used to having it all the time,
that we feel comfort in it.
Like okay, I'm just going to curl up
and watch TV like I always do and you know dream
about hurting myself or feel really bad.
And we get so used to that cycle and the pattern
and our brain and the way that it thinks,
that it can be kind of comforting slash a habit.
But I don't want you to mistake that for thinking
it's an addiction.
Addiction is very different.
And I know many people are going to disagree with me
and many of you might be frustrated
by what I'm saying but diagnostically speaking,
it's a separate item.
Those are very different.
Addictions are different than a depression.
Depression is a mental illness
and there are some times like
let's apply some of the 12 step ideas
that work for addiction to our depression.
Now obviously admitting that we have a problem
and stuff that could maybe help,
I don't know, talking about it helps me know that,
but there are people who are going to say
if you're really struggling with your urges to drink
or I don't know do drugs or have sex
or whatever your addiction is you're going
to a meeting for or whatever,
they're going to tell you, you know, to stop,
and call someone and make it stop.
Right, don't do it, leave.
But when we have depression, we can't just stop.
I mean I believe that there are times
when we actually cannot help ourselves to our depression.
Sometimes it's got such a tight grip on us that day
that it's just shit and we just,
we try our best and we make sure that we're you know,
we do as many things as we can to help ourselves
but sometimes it's just a bad day
and we can't just stop it like
people try to fight the urges for addiction.
We can't fight the urges for depression
the same way because it's a mental illness
and we're really struggling with an imbalance
in our brain and all sorts of different chemicals
that we didn't get.
And I know substance abuse and stuff
also falls into a diagnoses and an illness,
but I want you to see the separation.
And I hope that that's clear.
That's why I feel like there's so much to talk about
about this but that's how I separate them.
It can feel comforting and we can get used to it,
but I wouldn't say it's an addiction.
And you can converse below if you disagree,
agree, that's fine.
Everybody's going to have different opinions,
but based on what I know and what I've seen
and just my knowledge overall,
I just do not believe that it is.
Okay?
Question number three.
Okay so I struggle with EDNOS and almost feel like
my therapist in a way is triggering
and makes me want to keep restricting slash engaging
in disorder behaviors.
A lot of you have talked about this.
This is a big thing on the website.
I'm not sure why, but she'll sometimes say things
like, "I don't think you have a full-blown
"eating disorder yet, but you're definitely headed
"down that path and your mind slash
"behaviors aren't healthy."
Or, "I want to stop this before you get really bad."
And inside I feel like my unhealthy voice thinks
that's not good enough and I want to keep restricting
or losing more weight almost so I can have
my therapist think that I actually have an eating disorder.
Also, my dietician always describes me as having EDNOS
who keeps in touch with my therapist
so that's a little confusing.
So maybe my therapist just doesn't realize
how much I'm struggling, I don't know.
And many of you said that therapists can be triggering.
I've even had clients in the inpatient place
when I referred them out call me and be like,
"Well this one is too skinny and I can't see her.
"It's very triggering for me."
And as always, it's important for us to have
a really good relationship with our therapist
so that we can actually communicate with them
and get what we need out of it
because like I've said before, as a therapist,
we're here for you.
We want to make sure that you're getting what you need
and we're supporting you in a way that you need us to.
And this therapist, and this is only obviously
when I hear these things, I'm just taking
one person's experience and I'm just expressing
my opinion about it.
It sounds like she doesn't really know much
about dealing with eating disorders
because I would never say that to anybody.
That's just, it's triggering.
That's how I would feel, I'd feel triggered.
And so I would do one of two things.
I would talk to her about it and say you know
sometimes when you say those things,
I feel that you know I need to make
my eating disorder worse for you to take me seriously.
I know many of you struggle to say that
but sometimes we have to speak up for ourselves,
and too, I'd look into another therapist
'cause maybe this just isn't quite the right fit
and maybe your dietician know someone
who works with eating disorders that she really likes.
That's another possible vein to find a good referral.
So those are my thoughts on that
and I'm sorry for those of you out there
who have therapists who sometimes trigger you,
but like everything in life, there's good ones
and there's bad ones.
And we have to find the ones that fit for us.
Okay.
Now the journal topic from Jessica.
Thanks Jessica for this.
It says, "Take a jar.
"Fill it with golf balls."
It's full, right?
In my class, the professor did that,
had a big jar, put golf balls in it.
So this is full, right?
It can't fit any more in it.
And we're like yeah, right?
"Now put some small pebbles in it."
Again, full right?
Nothing else can go in this.
You think it's full?
At this point, you're like, it's not full,
they're going to do more and they do.
"Now pour sand in to fill in the crevasses."
And you kind of shake it around.
Full?
Now pour a beverage in it.
They did water.
She said, I read both beer and coffee before.
You can put whatever you want in it.
The golf balls are the important things in our life.
Family, health, friends, and favorites.
With these things, our life remains full.
The pebbles are other things that matter
like your job, your house, etc.
And the sand is everything else.
But if we put the sand in first,
we can't fit the golf balls.
But there's always time for a beverage with a friend.
And I thought that this was such a cute, clever thing,
and I would urge all of you to figure out
what are your golf balls in your life.
What should you put in first?
What should you make time for first?
Because in life, things get busy
and we run around like crazy and we try
to make everyone happy and do all these things
and keep everything afloat.
And we can lose track of what's really important.
Who do we really care about?
Who cares about us?
Who are our golf balls?
So find your golf balls and I think that's
a really cool one.
Thanks Jessica.
I love you all.
I'll be on Twitter tomorrow so ask your questions
and hashtag Katie at FAQ, bye.