Hey guys, so the last few weeks have been really quite very very difficult for me.
I've been ill. Like really really ill - not like really really ill but like, really ill. Like, ill, but not really, really ill... I've been ill.
I've been ill, lately, that's what I'm trying to say.
Okay I'm kinda making it sound like i had some kind of horrible plague when in fact my week has mostly consisted of...
Oh, I'm so ill, I'm so ill, I can't go on. God, take me up to your heaven where I may live in peace.
Away from this suffering... So much suffering...
So basically I had this horrible, horrible flu, which I later discovered was from HOLLAND! DAMN YOU, HOLLAND!
My sister went there to visit her boyfriend and this evil illness climbed on her, rode her all the way back to England
Then I went to visit her and it jumped off of her, inside me, and made me into this horrible, snotty, plague monster.
So if anyone here is watching from Holland, I blame you and your entire country for this. Never mind stroopwafel and Amsterdam and all the beautiful things you do for the world
See this? Feel guilty.
I'm coming for ya, Holland.
I'm joking, Holland, I love you, I'm going to you next year, love me, please accept me, I'm sorry
So, what do you do when you're ill? Well, one of the first things I do besides staying in bed and crying and using it to escape all my life responsibilities
is I Google search all of my symptoms.
Which is a great idea and always produces accurate diagnoses, interesting health advice and bits of information on how to get back to full health.
Noooo.
In reality, it usually ends up something like...
Oh... ow... my head... hurts.... a slight amount... ow...
YOU HAVE BRAIN SCURVY
But the thing is, there's something I haven't told you about myself, which is that I have a magic ability
It's not like a good magic ability like turning water into wine
or a rat into a puffin
which would always be useful
No, I have a magic ability where whenever I read a list of symptoms
I just magically get them
All of them.
Every single one.
I'll just be sitting there like
Okay, so the headache might be caused by men-in-gitis.
Now, why are the men in my gitis?
Alright so, stiff neck
Cold hands and feet
Where did all this ice come from?
Drowsiness
Er...um... confusion...
Irritability... I have all these things except for irritability... ow, dammit...
Now this might seem like I'm just trying to be dramatic and relatable, like "Hahaha, I just pretend to be ill so I can stay off schools and watch netflix
No that literally has been the last few weeks of my life Dear God i need help
But this has literally happened to me. In my real life.
So a few years ago I first went to uni and at uni everyone is a lot more likely to get ill because you're all living together, you're all squished
up in these little apartment blocks, sometimes you're sharing rooms, you're breathing your plague on each other
everyone's humping each other, it's called Fresher's Flu, and it's disgusting.
and not nice. But I was too lazy to sign up for an actual doctor and somehow the internet things had convinced me
that i had Meningitis, so because I didn't have a doctor, I literally stormed into A&E like
I have Meningitis.
Okay, so I'm just going to ask you a few questions about your symptoms.
About my Meningitis?
Yes... for your... your Meningitis...
Okay, here we go... ow, my brain
Do you have... fever.
The football game?
Vomiting?
Nope.
Feel drowsy?
No
Confusion?
No. ow...
Severe muscle pain?
No...
Pale or blotchy skin?
I mean I'm ginger, so...
Severe headache?
Yes!
Oh.
okay...
Er... Stiff neck?
No.
You don't have Meningitis, you just have a headache. You realise that?
You're an idiot.
Doctor, I know you went to medical school for like seven years and so you think you're a professional and think you know better than me, but
the thing is, I Googled it
So I'm right.
Did you even Google it, you didn't even Google it
I wasn't literally that rude, but you get the point, just go to the doctor, just do the
registry registry thing, and just don't trust the internet with anything. Except for entertaining you am I right? Subscribe!
But yeah no don't trust the internet with your brain place. You need your brain place.
Ding!
Just go to the doctor and hopefully he'll tell you that you're fine and give you a little pat on the head and the you'll scream because you've got a headache
and you shouldn't do that, Doctor and... that didn't happen
A similar thing happened to me recently where i was getting really like forgetful, which was kinda weird and, you know, worrying
but it turned out to be like stress and mental health stuff which is fine, you know, you deal with it.
It's a pretty big thing for the internet to just drop on me, it's not like someone came in and was like
Look, Luke, here's the thing, this is what's happening, this is what we're going to do about it, nope, page, load, Brain Cancer.
Thanks internet.
Now over here in Great Britain the NHS decided to sponsor this video so I could let you know about
their new app called 'NHS Go'
NHS stay, please,
please stay.
I like you.
If you're ever worried about any symptoms or like illnesses or like pretty much anything to do with health
it's a really good place to find like actually useful advice rather than just like 'Here's the worst thing it could be and that's what it is'
Good luck and prepare to die.
It has loads of information on things like your rights, where you can get help for stuff and sections on things like
depression and anxiety, illnesses, puberty, sleep, contraception, and my favourite, what to do when you have a hair dye burn.
which could have come in handy for me a couple of days ago, dammit.
so I'll leave a link for that down in the description below and hopefully you can use it to avoid some of the horrific
situations I've described in this video. My life has been a rollercoaster of mess.
and just as a side note if you are at all worried about Meningitis, which I mean, it's not very nice
so you should be a least like a little bit worried, I mean like you don't need to panic, but I mean...
The other day i had a vaccine against it called 'Men ACWY' which I did it, it was very painless, so if you haven't had it
or you're worried about it please go to your doctor, especially if you're at uni with lots of all those horrible coughing breathing humping people
spreading everything everywhere
And now that I panic about death every time I have a headache, which is you know, good for me, good for my stress levels,
good for my soul, it's saved literally 1300 people's lives which means there's literally 1300 people wandering around
having a life, doing stuff, all because of that, and they wouldn't be otherwise, so that's good, thank you NHS,
That's a good thing.
Cool I hope you enjoyed this video and i will see you guys next time for another incredible video
Goodbye
That was really close, so scary, I apologise.
I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
Bye