>>> WELL, BECKY, BAD NEWS, WE HAVE OFFICIALLY FELL OUT OF THE
CANDACE CAMERON THE CANDACE CAMERON BURE FULL
BODY SHAPEWEAR SET. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN. THEY WERE TOO GOOD TO LAST.
>> AND YOU KNOW WHO GOT THE LAST PAIR?
ME. I GOT 'EM ON RIGHT NOW.
>> OH, YOU LITTLE STINKER. YOU LOOK DYNAMITE.
>> THEY'RE SMASHED TO MY WIENER. [ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I LIKE THE FEELING, AND I LOVE THE LOOK.
>> ALL RIGHT. WE ARE MOVING ON NOW TO A BRAND
NEW VENDOR HERE AT "HSN." HER NAME IS CHAMAR VAN BURKE,
AND SHE'S GOING TO BE SHOWING US HER TEENY ADORABLES.
>> THAT IS RIGHT. THESE ADORABLE TINY CHRISTMAS
COLLECTIBLES TAKE ALMOST THREE DAYS TO MAKE.
THEY'RE ONE OF A KIND, CERAMIC GIFTS.
AND THERE ARE OVER 800. >> AND YOU'RE A ONE-WOMAN
OPERATION. AMAZING.
>> JUST ME, TWEEZERS, MAGNIFYING GLASS.
THEY'RE WITH ME FOR HOURS. >> AND YOU BROUGHT THEM ALL WITH
YOU TODAY? >> YES, I DID.
THEY'RE RIGHT OVER HERE. OH, NO, OH, GOD.
I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE THAT I LEFT THEM IN THE
FLIPPING UBER! >> OKAY.
WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE MAYBE YOU FORGOT YOUR LITTLE ADORABLES?
>> YES, I DID. I LEFT THEM IN THE TEA BAG IN
UBER, BECAUSE I'M A STUPID BUTTHOLE [ BLEEP ]!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, SWEETIE.
I THINK YOU MIGHT BE BEING A LITTLE HARD ON YOURSELF.
>> IF THEY'RE IN THE UBER, MAYBE WE CAN JUST CALL.
>> NO. NO, I'M SURE
HE'S GOT THEM. I KNOW, BECAUSE FOR SOME
FREAKING REASON I HAD TO TELL HIM, I HAD TO BRAG, THEY WERE
OVER $100,000. WHY HUBRIS GOD EAT MY ASS TO
HELL! >> OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT,
SWEETHEART, I'VE SEEN THESE COLLECTABLES --
>> OH, BITCH! >> AND I THINK I CAN JUST TELL
EVERYBODY WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. THERE'S ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A
TINY CIRCLE OF CAMELS JUST LIKE FROM JERUSALEM TIMES.
>> GOD SUCKING LOSER! >> AND THEY'RE JUST HAVING THE
NICEST LITTLE CONVERSATION. >> ALL RIGHT MAM, YOU'RE
STARTING TO SCARE ME A LITTLE BIT.
>> MAYBE WE JUST NEED TO -- >> NEED TO WHAT, KILL ME?
OH, PLEASE. YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE A FAVOR, BECAUSE I'M FRANKLY TOO MUCH OF
A LITTLE CHICKEN DUMP TO DO IT MYSELF.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY.
OUR PHONES ARE LIGHTING UP LIKE CRAZY.
BUT REMEMBER, FOLKS, THERE'S NOTHING TO BUY.
>> CHICKEN DUMP LOSER! >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> NO, PLEASE MOTHER. SO, THIS IS YOUR MOTHER?
>> WELL, THAT'S FINE, ISN'T IT? >> I SAID FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT
THIS WAS GOING TO BE A FLOP, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT CAPABLE OF
HANDLING STUFF LIKE THIS. >> OH, BUTT CRACK ASS!
>> NO, SHE CAN'T FOCUS. SHE GOT NO CONCENTRATION.
>> BUTT CRACK [ BLEEP ]! >> HER BRAIN IS LIKE A CLOUD.
HER THOUGHTS DON'T CONNECT TO ANYTHING.
THERE'S NO COHESION TO ANYTHING. >> OH, DUMB ASS, LIE.
>> NOW, DID SHE TELL YOU ABOUT HER EYES?
>> MOTHER, STOP! >> WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER EYES?
>> I CAN ONLY SEE SHADOWS! >> YEAH.
SHE RUINED THEM MAKING THOSE DUMB, TINY, LITTLE THINGS.
>> OH, MY GOD! BOLD LIE!
>> OH, YEAH. AND I SAT BEHIND HER EVERY NIGHT
AS SHE BENT OVER THOSE LITTLE DODADS.
>> CRACK IN MY ASS! >> AND I SAID, NO ONE'S EVER,
EVER GOING TO BUY ONE OF THOSE LITTLE CLOWNS.
AND NOW SHE NEEDS SURGERY, 'CAUSE HER EYES ARE JUNK.
>> OUT! GET OUT!
NO! DON'T BACK UP!
NO, OUT! OUT!
OUT! OUT!
>> WELL. THIS WAS GREAT.
>> IT SURE WAS. AND WE WISH YOU LUCK WITH YOUR
SURGERY. >> NO, NO SURGERY!
I WAS GOING TO PAY FOR IT WITH THE MONEY I GOT FROM HERE.
>> WELL, I'M SURE YOU'RE FILL IT OUT.
>> WELL, STICK AROUND, NEXT HOUR WE'LL HAVE CHARLENE AND HER BIG
OLD ADORABLES. >> MY BIG ADORABLES ARE VERY
CUTE AND CHRISTMASY AND I DIDN'T FORGET THEM.
>> SO STAY RIGHT HERE TO HSN, THE HOME OF SEXUAL SHOPPING
NETWORK. >> IT'S HOME SHOPPING NETWORK.
>> IS IT? OKAY.
IF YOU SAY SO. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[ APPLAUSE ]