Hey bidgets, my name is Futon today. Now before you go and call me a whore in the comments
"Dang this is some scary shit"
Number one, I don't care if you do. That word is like the least insulting at this point. Last year when it was Valentine's Day
I kind...I don't really know what happened last year
but I know a good amount of you guys like these sit-down talks and I want to do more of them this year like have
an honest chitchat, so yeah, let's talk about relationships and
cover this up because I have class soon.
I do not want my professors seeing me as this person.
Editing Frederick here, by the way to my sister who's watching, before you text me you got no right to judge me.
Okay? I remember your high school relationships. I saw you got 'em too okay. I wasn't stupid. And to my parents are watching me, "Wo zhen de dui bu qi, qing bie sha wo"
I guess I'm gonna prime...like it matters. I know for like most of my videos
I always say, "I don't want a boyfriend, I don't need boyfriend. You guys shouldn't get one too."
And I try to stand by that as much as possible
But like how long can one just say I don't need a boyfriend? Hold on while I try to find something that would work for me
But I'll admit I was looking for...something. You know, I had high hopes as every person does.
This is not gonna cover at all. Don't worry, I'm going to explain how this happened.
I downloaded tinder and hinge at some point, for those of you who don't know what they are
They're online dating apps and yeah
I was a little embarrassed about it because like I've always been that person who wanted to meet someone in real life, you know
I drop a piece of yogurt in the grocery stand and like some cute guy picks it up and it's like,
"oh thank you for helping me solve my clumsiness.
My name is Frederic." Movie type shit.
You know like the stuff that never happens in real life basically and like
realistically, that's not gonna happen because the amount of gay guys and I mean
decent ones that you're gonna find, I probably have a better chance of winning the lottery than
Getting a boyfriend at a grocery store because I dropped a piece of yogurt...holy hell
My friends are going to look at me
maybe I'll just do like
some regular makeup and maybe that will distract from this. So I downloaded it and I didn't match with that many people because well
I'm a picky bitch a little bit of a picky bitch.
Also, if you've had it before you even know that the majority of people on tinder are doing it for hookups
And that is not my type of thing. I don't date just to date. It's like I've want to date
to marry even though I'm 18, like I get it.
I know it's stupid because like what I'm 18 years old and I have a lot to learn and it's gonna take like what 10
years for me to even bother getting married.
I just don't like dating someone and then thinking about breaking up with them while dating.
Once again, I'm very picky, always have been. So after being ghosted by like what five people on tinder I tried hinge and
didn't match with anyone until this one guy. This guy, we talked for a little bit and
had a lot in common. I couldn't find anything that would have made things go badly
Like, all our interests were similar in some way, there were no red flags.
So he asked me on the date and I agreed. We went to Panera and he insisted on paying for me
I was like, that's very nice of you
I'm paying the next time. Then we went back to his room and his room was really nice.
His roommates were really nice. There were no signs of anything being sketchy. There were no shady things and it was a good movie,
we watched burlesque and then like we kissed a little bit and then
I got a hickey and I told him it was okay. He was very respectful of boundaries and stuff
So after hanging for like what six hours he said like, let's call it a night,
I need to go do homework and I was like
I agree, I need to go back and then he said he definitely wanted to meet again
So I was like yeah, me too.
And of course before that I asked him like was this just you know,
A one-time thing, you want this to go further? And he said let's just see where this goes.
I was like, okay. Next day I text him and
no response. I just said "good morning", waited a few hours and until it was like what 2 p.m
And I was like, "is everything ok?" and then at some point he left me on read on snapchat
I was like, I'll take personal offense to that, thank you. He posted on his story. I was like, well, he's clearly awake
So I sent him another snap, got left on read again and by that time it was like 7 p.m
So I texted him, "dude, like, what's up? Is everything okay?" and I think by midnight I was just like, okay
Listen, I get it if you think the date went badly
But like just don't ghost someone and then still no response and now we're here the next day.
So I'm just gonna assume he doesn't want to meet up again. And you know what? That's fine.
Like if you go on one date and you don't want to see someone again
but don't lie and say you really want to meet them the next time and then also not respond to them like just I
Hate the fact that people don't have the guts to confront like that.
And then of course like I'm the one to start thinking ,"this is my fault,
Like what did I do wrong during the date? Should I not have kissed them?
Is it the way i dressed? Is it because I was not short enough for him?"
I don't know, you start thinking of stupid shit. Like that's just a normal thing.
And of course, it wouldn't make me upset like that. All that stuff makes me upset.
I almost got to the point where I just didn't want to hang out with anyone because I started
You know getting in my mood and then my friends just said, "no
Listen, it's not your fault
If he doesn't reply to you by the next day, he's a douche for just ghosting you," which is true
But usually whenever things go wrong like yeah
I've tried to look for guys in college a little bit and all of them have gone south at some point and then I have
This cycle of blaming myself and then thinking I did something wrong
But I have to remind myself that it wasn't my fault.
A lot of guys just suck and that's why I wanted to talk to you guys because Valentine's Day is coming up and I know
a lot of people here are single and you know what, it's fine.
You don't want to get together on Valentine's Day anyways
because that could really go wrong too. A lot of people that I know used to feel pressured to get into a
relationship just because their friends are. Some of you guys text me saying, "I don't know how to get out of this relationship," and
you proceed to list all the toxic things about it and I just think like can you just read that over again?
And I just want you guys to think like if a friend told you all the toxic things about their relationship
Would you want them to continue it?
No
Probably not and that's why you shouldn't because life is not short and then it probably will be in this day and age
but you'll meet another person and
I just have to remind myself that I don't really know the point of this video
I think it was supposed to be like me getting all my problems, letting you know that this will probably be here for a while
So like no conspiracy, not dating any youtuber. Okay. Oh, I didn't even powder it down. Hold on.
I guess the point of this video was to let you know that yeah this happens to everyone and I know a lot of people
Try to assume like youtubers, their relationships are different...not really, I gett ghosted just as much as you guys probably.
Did that help at all? I'm trying to tell you that what you're feeling isn't wrong.
It's okay to be upset that you're single
Because your friends are in a relationship or that you just feel like you need someone but at some point
you're gonna realize that you're going for a relationship for the wrong reasons and
So many people have told me to just stop looking and I think my last straw has finally been pulled because I'm done
Being ghosted and I've always thought like, am I cursed like if I tell anyone about a potential guy
I like will it just go bad? And what's funny is that my other friend the moment I told her about this guy
She said, "don't trust him. He's a J," and I've dated
Three J's and each and every one of them went bad at some point.
But yeah, this Valentine's Day don't feel sad about being single
But if you try to give excuses for the people you like, say the guy who just ghosted me
Text me again and tries to come up with an excuse
Would you let me continue talking to him? Depending on your answer, think about that for yourself.
And I'm trying to tell you don't settle for less and don't bother
downloading Tinder and Hinge if you live in the New York area. I deleted them. Those profiles are not gonna come back.
I'm still gonna wait for the guy who picks up my yogurt when I drop it at the grocery store.
So yeah, I did not cover this hickey at all
Because I have no concealer right now, but it's just a reminder that
Maybe I shouldn't go for guys right now. That's all for this video,
Sorry I uploaded late, college has been hectic.
But if you enjoyed give this video a like, leave a comment down below or subscribe for more videos whenever I can.
So just turn on my notifications so you don't miss anything or come late. Now, let's read a coming out story.
For those of you who are wondering I always try to read coming on stories at the end of every video to inspire others to
Come out and they're always anonymous. "So I went to my aunt's house for Chanukah."
I'm so sorry if I pronounced that wrong. "I decided I finally wanted to come out to one of my cousins. I'm not out to anyone in
My family except one who is younger than me so this was absolutely terrifying. I couldn't face him in person
So on the hour-long drive back home I texted him and your text went something like, 'I'm trans
I'm a guy, please don't hate me. If you don't want to talk to me a whole lot now, I get it
But please don't tell anyone,' and their cousin responded with, 'wow,
I didn't expect that, doesn't change really anything between us, you are still my cousin whether you're a guy or girl.
I have literally zero problems with trans people.'
I was honestly crying in the backseat of my parents car and couldn't stop smiling at different points in the following days."
Thank you for sharing your story. And as always, I love you guys and everything is less than three.
And fuck men.