I did this for you.
I felt that this is very Ellen-ess.
It is.
It's good looking.
It's a good looking suit.
You're good looking.
And thanks for being here.
You're funny, and I just say yes.
You just say yes?
Because I heard that you want to be a talk show host, and just--
I just say yes to that.
Yes.
Why wouldn't you want to do that?
You know, I heard that there might be an opening somewhere.
The grapevine or deadline told me.
Yep.
Grapevine and the deadline are right.
There's going to be an opening.
I got one more year.
I'm not going away right now, but--
Yes, I'm not trying to rush you.
Have you always wanted to--
thanks.
Have you always wanted to do this, or is this recent?
It was a thing that I always wanted to do,
and I specifically wanted daytime--
because I was like, I want to give away free stuff.
Like I do.
I want to help people go to college, maybe some cars, TV,
you know, the basics.
Yeah.
But I also just like--
I generally enjoy people, and so talking to them,
and you know it's cool to talk to celebrities.
Hello.
But then it's also cool to talk like regular folks doing
dope stuff.
And so, I was like I would want to do that,
but I got some things I want to do first.
Yeah, well good.
I mean, I think that's good to put it out there
because that's--
manifestation is, that's how you do it.
So did you just give me a letter of recommendation,
is that what I just heard.
I did.
I think you would be great.
I think you're funny, and I think you would love it,
and if you love people, and love helping people,
it's a great job.
Well--
So I say yes.
Hello, UTA do you hear this?
All right.
OK.
My agents are on alert.
So I heard that you discovered that you're
funny in a beauty pageant.
Yes, child.
The Miss Nigeria in America pageant.
It's very just, on brand.
Nigeria in America.
A Ms. Sign me up.
How many people were in there?
Me.
Yeah.
I should have been a shoo-in.
Yeah.
And so, two weeks before the pageant,
they were like, hey, what's your talent?
And I was like, I ain't got one, because as a child
of immigrants your only talent is getting straight A's
on your report card.
And I was like.
Done.
And I was like, I can't really do that on stage,
and I'm not tribal dancing.
I got to draw the line somewhere.
And so, they were like, well you got to come up with something.
So I prayed.
That was like-- I was in college,
and I just like started my faith, like walk with God,
and I was like yo, I need a solid.
That's how I talked to Jesus.
I was like yo fam, come through.
I don't know why it sounds like DMX, but that's in that moment.
Come through, son.
And all I heard back from Holy Spirit was do comedy.
And I was like nah.
Cause that made no sense.
I had never ever done comedy before.
I used to like watch Def Comedy Jam when
back where there was like cable boxes in one room,
and we would sneak into my--
cable box, so they're a thing that happened--
you know what?
Google's a thing.
And-- that was like my only reference
to comedy, so I was just like uh?
And Nigerians are not forgiving people.
Like if you're not funny, they'll just
be like whose daughter is this.
Please get her off the stage.
I don't-- why is she here?
And my mom was going to be in the audience with her friends,
and I was like, God, have you met me?
And He was like either you're going to learn to trust me
or you're not.
And that was the last thing He said, and I did comedy,
and cut to here I am.
Wow, well.
And that is sort of what this book is about.
It's "Bamboozled by Jesus" and it's all the things
that Jesus, God, has put you through.
Yes.
And-- but you explain it.
But, the subtitle is "How God Tricked Me Into The Life
of My Dreams."
So things worked out.
Just in case you were like is blasphemy.
Jesus don't be bamboozling folks.
2020 anybody?
We all had big plans last year, and look at us now.
But we're fine.
We're coming out.
We're on the other side of it, and similar to you--
one of my favorite bits from you was
when you did the "Conversation with God."
That's kind of like what this book is about,
like I got some questions.
You know me, like, I understand what you're trying to do,
but fam, in the midst of it, like can I call you up?
Yo, what are you doing?
Like this is a a no bueno situation.
But in my life, I just kept saying "a'ight."
Because sometimes you don't even have a good "yes" in you.
You don't have a solid I'ma do it Lauren.
It's a like, "a'ight, if that's what you want, cool."
And sometimes, that's all you need
to get you to the next step.
So I just kept saying yes to a lot of things
that did not make a lot of sense,
and then doors kept opening.
And I was like oh, I'm going to walk through this one.
Oh.
And I just kept walking, so here we are.
Well, yeah, it's a good thing you're
listening, because they're doing you a solid.
All right.
More with Yvonne, right after this.
We're back with the very funny Yvonne orgy,
and so you talk about in the book
that you, while you were doing stand up,
you did a lot of different things to earn money.
Yes.
Do you want to tell people some of those?
Yeah, I used to host weddings.
Actually I used to host anything with a mic,
so baby showers, birthdays, funerals.
But it's always weird because like the Nigerian weddings,
there's a lot of tradition and a lot of protocol.
And one specific wedding, I'll never forget the bride
was like, I don't want to do this specific thing, which was
the breaking of the cola nut.
And she was like, tell my father.
And I was like oh, OK.
You know, I got it.
I'm the host.
I go to the father, and I was like your daughter doesn't
want to do this thing.
And he just looked at me, and he was like, who are you?
Did I not?
Am I not paying for you?
Please?
And I was like, you know what?
You're right?
She's not going to mess up my check.
You know but--
I was not--
I was a fair weather host.
OK, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's not your job to do that.
That's not fair.
This sounds like a family squabbles.
Yeah, you said you mentioned earlier
that you were going to be a doctor because your parents
wanted you to be a doctor.
They did not want you to go into comedy.
I don't think any parents really go, you should try stand up.
Because that always works out.
But they must be proud now.
They are, and it would have been better
if they said don't do stand up.
They actually just said "you want to be a jester."
I was like, thanks.
I don't juggle balls.
This is so awkward.
Do the hat with the ball on it.
Yeah.
I was like, they dismantled my soul.
I was like ugh.
No, they're super proud of me now.
I bought a house in 2019, and I flew them out to LA,
and that's--
I think-- when they were like, she does something.
This jokes, this comedy thing is working out.
And one day I was sleeping, and I just hear my dad, just like--
and this is the backyard, and these are her trees.
I was like, who is he MTV cribbing?
Like what's happening?
And he is like recording my hou-- like the backyard.
And I was like, Oh my God.
Everyone in the village is going to know where I live,
what I got, and I don't want this.
Oh my God.
Well, they should be proud of you,
because you're doing a great-- you just got your first Emmy
nomination for "Insecure."
You're great on "Insecure."
And I really mean it.
I think you should, next year, I'd like you
to guest host for me on--
try it out.
See how it feels.
I will be so honored.
Yes.
Done.
Next year, you're going to guest host for me.
This is the thing that can happen.
Yep.
You heard it first.
Yeah.
"Bamboozled by Jesus" is available everywhere books
are sold, and today you're all getting a copy.
We'll be back.