Fear of failure and rejection got you stuck?
Today I'm going to show you not just how to overcome this.
I'm going to show you how to obliterate this fear.
Keep watching
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This is life mastery gym. I'm Damon Cart and I teach people just like you,
processes and techniques to help you take charge of your destiny and master your
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The main reason people don't achieve their goals is because they don't even
attempt them.
I know because I used to be paralyzed with fear that I would make a mistake,
so I wouldn't even take the first step after learning and practicing NLP,
neurolinguistic programming and applying it to my fear of rejection and fear of
failure, I was able to turn this around.
I can teach you this and by the end of this video you will know how to do this.
Make sure you stick around for the entire video because I'm also going to show
you a way that you can take this even deeper with some free training.
The first step is to identify the fear. Now,
clarity alone is not going to overcome the fear,
but in order to overcome it, you at least need to understand it.
So the first step would be to identify the fear. What is it you're afraid of?
And go take it even further than that. What would be the worst case scenario?
Realistically,
if you were to fail or you were to be rejected,
what would be the absolute worst case scenario?
It can really help actually to write this down.
So in the comments below and because I'm also curious and in the comments below,
write in there what it is that you're afraid of. What's the worst case scenario?
The thing that you're most afraid of. Write that in the comments below.
And notice how you feel after you do that.
And you may need to take some time with this question,
but go ahead and keep watching this video.
Watch it all the way through to the end because you will understand the question
even better so that you can come back to it and spend some time with it and get
very clear about it. Pretend that your fears are messengers.
Now our need, our normal knee jerk reaction is to move away from anything that's
uncomfortable, that's painful, that's confusing or chaotic.
So we will tend to try to move away immediately from the fear.
But you're an intelligent human being and you can stop this.
You can stop yourself from moving away from the fear,
especially if there's no immediate threat due to the fear. Now,
if there's a real threat, and of course going away, but most of the time,
the thing that we fear is not a real physical threat that could physically harm
us.
So take a moment to intercept the fears and treat them as messengers,
not as demons or anything that's out there to hurt you.
And Ask yourself if this,
if this fear was a messenger trying to deliver a message,
what would that message be?
What are the messages that your fears are trying to alert you to?
The second step is to get clear about what the true risks are here.
If you were to fail, so ask yourself,
how likely is it that your worst fear would come true?
The the failure? If it were to happen, how likely is that?
I mean the worst failure, not just like, oh it things didn't kind of work out.
I mean the absolute worst thing. How likely is that to actually occur?
And in some cases you might not know the answer to that.
So you can do a little research. In fact,
you might even be able to look it up on the Internet.
And if you're wanting to start a business, a particular business,
if you search how likely that business is to fail on Google,
you will probably find an answer. Now,
the point of this is to detach yourself from the emotion of fear.
So if you can set that aside by doing some research,
by getting very specific,
well actually those elements of getting very specific and doing some research
will automatically start to detach you from the fear.
So that's the whole point of step two is to understand that the fear is there to
alert you to something.
And in some cases it's valid and some cases it's not and it's irrational.
But we won't know that until you detach from the emotion.
Let's say you find out that there's a 20% chance of failing.
Don't stop there. Keep exploring this. Ask Yourself, well,
what would failure actually mean to you?
Is it possible to cut that 20% in half?
I would failing at this actually affect your life?
How quickly could you recover from this failure and who would this failure
actually affect other than yourself?
Most people don't take the time to realize that this big bad failure,
that they fear so much actually wouldn't be all that bad if it happens.
And the truth is is if you fail at something and you learn from it and you keep
going, it's not really failure.
I think about how many times you probably failed down when you were attempting
to walk as a child.
Your chances of success didn't get worse. Each time you fail,
the chances of you succeeding actually got much,
much better every time you fail and every time you got back up.
And the same is usually true for almost anything you try.
So the truth is usually the failure that you fear,
the rejection that you fear would only be a minor setback.
And so when you can detach from the emotion and get very clear about this with
real specifics,
tangible specifics about what it would actually mean to fail at something,
a lot of times you realize you would bounce right back from this would may be
really getting to you is the fear that it means something about you.
So step three is the most important step because I think at the root of
everyone's fear of failure,
our rejection is the the fear that it tell,
it says something about you.
It exposes you for being of low value.
It exposes you of being of low self worth.
It exposes you of the for being not good enough.
I've been through this so many times with myself.
I've been through this so many times with my coaching clients,
dealing with this fear that if I screw up, if I fail,
if someone rejects me, that I'm not worthy,
and it might even mean that I'm a total loser for life. Now,
I know that sounds dramatic and it is dramatic and it is first of all,
not true, but this is how fear can work.
Fear can be extremely irrational if we don't question it and we,
and we just assume that those things are just packed away and they're somehow
and that they're just true. And we never questioned them.
Not only could I dedicate an entire video to just this step,
I could dedicate an entire training to this step because so many people suffer
from this and most of the time they have no idea that this is what they're
suffering from.
They have no idea that this is the unconscious fear that is really driving you
are really keeping you from attempting the things that you want to do.
The technique that I'm about to show you might not solve the bigger problem of
dealing with feelings of low self worth,
but it will get you moving forward again and basically what this is is to right
now, suspend all judgment of yourself.
Act as if there is no such thing as self worth and think about the goal that you
want to pursue without any of those feelings.
Now I know they might come up and you might be like, well,
I shouldn't suppress my feelings true. We don't want to suppress feelings.
We don't want to shove them away. That could be,
that can cause an even bigger problem.
What I'm suggesting though is what would it be like? Use your imagination.
What would it be like if you had no fear of failure?
That sure you might fail at something. It might not work out,
but that none of those feelings were attached to failure or getting rejected,
that you could totally suspend that judgment of yourself,
that there would be no pain there, there would be no emotional pain there,
so really take a moment to experience that.
What would it be like if self worth your self worth was not even part of the
equation? It feels pretty good, doesn't it? When you do this,
the good state that you're feeling is a resource state or a resourceful state.
You're, you're,
you're reconnecting with all of your resources so you've taken the limitations
off. Now, the truth about all of this is,
is that there is no such thing as self worth.
You cannot judge your own value or your own worth.
How would that even be possible?
How would you be able to step outside of yourself and then judge yourself,
but that's you judging you.
What qualification do you have by and by what standard are you?
Are you doing that? It's impossible. It's an,
it's an emotional response based on an ill-conceived idea or an ill-conceived
concept that there is some way that you can judge your own self worth just even
by your feelings of low self worth.
You cannot judge that and no one else can either. If you think about it,
no one else knows what's going on inside of you.
No one else has some sort of overall standard in which to judge all people's
value and all people's worth.
So self worth is not even a thing.
You're trying to apply a value to your your own existence and that's just
impossible. What I'm suggesting that you do is actually more rational.
It's more true than the the feelings that you're feeling.
Now. Again,
I'm not saying you shouldn't feel the feelings and let the feelings be there,
but then act as if failure or rejection says nothing about who you are as a
person or your worth or your value and connect with that resource state and is
from this resource state that you are most likely to succeed,
most likely to achieve your goals,
most likely to endure rejection and keep going and overcome it.
Eventually it's connecting to that state,
that resource state that will get you through any failure,
any setback or any rejection.
I've failed more times at my goals than I've succeeded by far and I've been
rejected far more than I've been accepted and yet here I stand fully intact,
fully whole. It didn't take anything away from me.
It didn't lower this imaginary idea of myself worth or my value.
Sure it stung when it happened. Sure. It didn't feel good,
but when I really got clear and honest with myself about what was actually
happening and I connected to that resource state,
I just got back up and I kept going and I'm better off for having done that
because of how much I've learned and become desensitized to that idea of south
wars. So when I get rejected or I, I don't succeed at something I know,
it doesn't say anything about who I am or my value or my worth,
I just know it just means that that that way I tried that thing didn't work.
So I just need to try something different. And the same goes self doubt.
Doubt can be actually a very useful tool.
Just like fear can be a useful tool. Fear,
fear can wake you up to things that you need to pay attention to that could be
harmful.
Doubt is good for waking you up to something that you're trying or doing or
maybe someone else's intentions and it can wake you up to what's going on.
That could become a problem so that you can solve it ahead of time,
but doubting yourself is completely useless.
It just basically these ideas of self doubt,
self worth are so useless that you're just investing energy into these ideas.
That's creating fear,
which is holding you back when if you just pull the plug on all of this,
you could take all of that energy and all of that focus and really just turn it
toward the goals that you want to achieve and invested in better ways.
Because if you're investing in those other ideas,
just know that you are wasting that focus and that energy. Unplug,
unplug those ideas and it might take some time,
but unplug them and start diverting that energy toward what it was,
what it is that you want to create and what it is that you want to want to
accomplish.
Now you know how to overcome fear of rejection and fear of failure,
but what you don't know is how to elicit your deepest values and create a
powerful vision of the life that you want to create for yourself.
And that's why I created a four part video series on that will teach you exactly
how to do that.
You can get access immediately to this four part video series by clicking the
link in the description below.
I also have the link and the comment section below as well,
and it's linked to a card to this video.
Remember to comment down below what your biggest fears are and how they're
holding you back.
I'm genuinely curious about this and I will respond to you also while you're at
it. Remember to get your a four part video series.
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