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Hi my name is Max, and today we want to show you the universal
authenticity modls and how by following strict set of behavior.
>> [LAUGH] >> You can be the perfect communicator.
>> Max, Max.
I hate to interrupt, but I don't think you're being very authentic right now.
>> [LAUGH] >> My friends,
there is not one strict definition of authenticity.
There is no one universal set of visual, vocal or
verbal cues in order to be your best self in any and all situations.
Instead, today we are going to tell you how to be your authentic self, but
how to adapt it for different contexts.
We're going to start by reiterating the importance of first impressions.
But as you've grown to new roles and responsibilities,
you want to be able to adapt your persona as the situation demands.
Finally, and maybe most importantly,
once discussed how to stay authentic as you move across culture and context.
Now as much as we like Max and
his unique qualities, this is not a story that can be told by one voice.
We have four unique voices in this group, but
we are all going to tell the same story.
You can be authentic while adapting for each and every situation you are in.
>> So, the first step to the authentic is the first impression.
Why?
Because there is no second chance to cause an authentic first impression.
As we have here today.
First impression take a relevant role when we want to give a talk.
Because people are gone to judge.
So when you face the audience, the audience is going to love you for
the way as you dress.
The way as your speak, even the way as you breath.
So if we're talking about authenticity can we train the first impression?
Can we work on that in going into the first impression be authentic.
We think no, but Nick Morgan in an important article
that's called, How Leaders Become Authentic.
Give us a very good tips.
Even though there are people that are never going to learn how to be authentic.
Look at that picture, in that handshake,
do you think there is authenticity?
No, why?
Why?
Because the known verbal message is more important
in the first impression than the spoken message.
People understand and read the non-verbal messages better and
faster than the word that they're going to say.
So, gestures speak louder than words.
So what said Nick Morgan?
Nick Morgan said that we have to work in four different state, but
focusing in the first impression, we want to focus to be open.
What is this to be open?
Imagine, given a speaker or given a talk, and
you are in the audience, in a close position.
People are going to see you, as threatened.
That you have fear, so what told us what he teach us,
is try to imagine that you are giving your presentation to someone
with whom you are completely relaxed.
For example, your mother, a closer friend.
But when you imagine that situation,
not only imagine the mental picture, also how do you feel?
Then the next time that you are going to face the audience, put that feeling,
that mental picture innocent.
Remember, no verbal message is going to be faster than the verbal message.
>> So you've made a great first impression.
And people perceive you as authentic.
So where do you go from here?
I want to introduce you to the concept of adaptive authenticity,
which at first glance sounds a bit oxymoronic.
Doesn't it?
Doesn't being authentic mean that there's just one view of what's true?
But the word adaptive means that there's
a more fluid version associated with what authenticity can be.
The reality is that whenever we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations,
it can make us feel like an impostor at first.
For example when we try a new communication style,
like using grand gestures, or making eye contact for at least four seconds, but
no more than seven.
So what does this do to us?
What it would actually end up doing is using authenticity as an excuse for
us not to take risks, and not to step outside of our comfort zone.
I want to introduce you to the adaptive authenticity journey.
At the beginning [COUGH] [INAUDIBLE] behaviors that feel unnatural and
often superficial.
Things that are outside of your comfort zone.
But eventually those things move into a place where they feel genuine,
spontaneous and actually part of authentically you.
This is a short comic that shows where you can start with your comfort zone or
even your authenticity zone.
So we start down there in our safe place.
We go out and try new communication style or leadership style, let's say.
We go do that thing, we come back, and we come to our zone.
But if you observe, it's just a little bit larger than it was before.
And that represents the space of how we've expanded our range
of what is authentic to us.
Here's what it looks like in practice.
You start at this core, this core authentic view, which doesn't change.
It remains largely the same, but through time, practice and courage,
you expand it outwards and give yourself a greater tool set for which you can use.
So some people have a very strict view on what rigid authenticity looks like.
And there's a few push backs people usually give us.
They'll say okay well I always want to be true to myself, so
I can't really change what authenticity is.
We'd respond to that by saying which self are you referring to?
Is this your professional self, your personal self,
the self you have in your head?
And also, how do you account for that fact that there's a lot of uncertainty in your
future and what yourself would become.
A second push back is people want to maintain a strict coherence
between what they say and do versus what they feel.
And despite what touch and feel tells us there are circumstances in this world,
we don't want to exactly show what we're feeling in all cases.
Let's say we're in a leadership position for the first time leading 1,000 people.
You feel nauseous and terrified.
You'll probably lose credibility if you're completely
open in that situation with your team.
Finally, it's important to maintain values based choices.
But also remember that values too, should be reconsidered and reevaluated,
and you're allowed to add values into your life.
So I want to leave you with three tips to expand your authenticity zone.
First of all, learn from diverse mentors.
New people will come into your life with new communication styles and
leadership styles from whom you can borrow things that inspire you.
So, give yourself permission to take the things you like and
then build your own hybrid of what is authentically you.
Second of all, consistently work on being better.
Seek constructive feedback and set learning goals for yourself.
Perhaps, even take a course, like strategic communications.
Or do a low key note.
And finally don't stick to your one story.
Too often we get grounded in what the version of ourself is.
But first of all, our story is growing by one day every single day.
And second our perspective is changing as well, which can help us review our past in
a different way and retell our story over time.
So Max just told you how to expand your idea of authenticity internally.
But what about times when your external circumstances dictate
what authenticity means?
Culture changes what authenticity means.
A huge part of authenticity depends on how you connect with the audience and
audience in different cultures have different expectations.
Two weeks ago I reunited with my middle school
good friend who happens to be doing an MBA in the UCLA program.
So I saw him and it's been 12 years, so we are a little bit on edge.
We start speaking in English because that's
what we're more comfortable with nowadays.
And we start sharing about our careers, our future plans, our recent moves.
And I felt really empowered.
I was like wow I feel very different.
And so after 15 minutes we decide that okay, we're going to we switch to
Vietnamese because now we've established that connection.
And all of a sudden I feel myself just changing.
My body started shrinking, my voice got a lot softer and started getting
really frustrated about this new self that for some reason is coming back to me and
this is my 15-year-old self when I knew him in middle school.
In fact, what I was reacting to was different expectations and
the associated culture that comes with the language in which we were speaking it.
There is studies actually show this phenomenon.
A professor at Merrill College did a study and asked bilingual Hispanic American
women to judge what some women in an ad come across as in two different versions.
One in English and the other one in Spanish in the span of six months.
In the English women were perceived as dependent
on their family, very traditional.
While six month later the same ad has very different perspectives from
the subjects of the study where they think that these women actually
come across as extroverted and very independent.
So what should you draw from that, there are different pillars for
verbal, vocal, and visual in which all the expectations might change.
In one culture vulnerability could mean over sharing in another culture.
Speech volume being loud and
clear in English might actually mean obnoxious in Vietnamese.
Or your body language and your speaking space be very open could actually
taking up a lot of space could mean arrogance in another culture.
So the takeaway is really just, learn your surrounding, learn the context.
If you're presenting to people in a different culture or
a different language, make sure to adapt.
And even though you're sticking to your version of yourself,
make sure you know what the the audience is expecting of you,
and don't be an obnoxious American tourist.
>> [LAUGH] >> All right
before we close that we want to leave you guys with a few things.
So first as Shakira says, hips don't lie.
>> [LAUGH] >> First impressions matter and so
make sure your visual queues are all on point.
>> Just keep going.
>> Two, it's okay to adapt what is authentic to you and
your leadership persona as you change and grow.
In fact, you should probably do this because over the course of your career,
you're going to move around this big wide world of ours.
And it's important to be an effective leader in multiple cultural contexts.
Finally, and maybe most importantly, you don't need to be like Max.
You have your own unique voice, and embrace it, tell your story, thank you.
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