- If you're going through a breakup right now,
then you need to watch this video because I'm gonna share
with you the things that make the process so much easier,
that makes the process of letting go so much easier.
And that will make moving on
and opening yourself up to love eventually, so much easier.
And you're gonna be glad in three months, six months,
a year from now that you actually watched this video.
Okay, so your future self will thank you
but you have to watch it.
First off, let me just share
that I'm sharing the things that I'm learning,
as I'm going through a breakup right now, in this moment.
So I'm currently going through a breakup
and I wanna share what I'm reminding myself of,
and also what has made the process so much easier.
So a lot of this is coming from experience.
This isn't just coming from some book I read,
although a lot of it does come from books as well
but it's things that I've actually applied
in my own life that makes the process so much easier.
So the first thing to understand
about this whole breakup that you're going through is
that it's important to remember
that there's nothing wrong with you.
This was something that I internalized
not this last breakup, but there was a breakup before that
that was very challenging.
They're all challenging in their own ways
but I remember that there was a part
of me that really felt like there's something wrong with me.
Like, if it's not working out,
then maybe there's something wrong with me.
Maybe I'm not good enough.
Maybe I wasn't able to make this person happy.
And there was a lot of internalization that happened.
And for a long time I had blocks.
This was like two years ago.
After a relationship, it was hard for me to almost move on
because there was an, there's this initial belief that said
there's something wrong with me.
I'm broken.
And in a way, when I would then meet people or go on dates
eventually it was like there was this notion underneath it
of shame of like, there's something wrong with me.
And then if there was somebody that wasn't choosing me,
like if the part of the breakup was like,
oh, I'm not chosen, that was the feeling.
And it was a mutual thing, but also there was just
a lot of a wounding there.
And there was a feeling of there's, you know, I,
an abandonment wound, honestly, that was there.
And it was like I was trying to prove myself to this person.
I would try to fix them or try to help them.
And that was just a way of me trying
to become indispensable.
By fixing them, by helping them,
it was like, who else is gonna do this?
I'm this person that like will stick around no matter what.
Look how loyal I am.
But there was an, an initial belief under that that said
"There's something wrong with me
and people don't choose me."
And for a while I thought that that was like,
I would direct it at a specific person.
But then I eventually realized that this was stuff
that actually came from childhood.
It came from not feeling chosen as a kid,
the emotional unavailability that wasn't there.
And an internalization that said,
"There's something wrong with me."
Maybe if I just act a little bit different
maybe then mom or dad will feel good.
And that was something that really was important
for me not to internalize.
And even now,
in the breakup that I'm going through right now,
there's certain aspects of the breakup that
if I was to internalize, could be very negative,
could be very hard honestly.
But what I'm remembering is not to internalize the breakup,
not to think that it means there's something wrong with me,
not to believe that it's my fault.
And to understand that this is just something to accept
and something to to really feel.
That's another thing I'll share in a very vulnerable way.
Before I share that,
I wanna share something I've never really talked
that much about before.
Before I do that,
one huge tip as well is to pull your energy back.
Pull your energy back, literally pull it back.
The thing is, is when we are thinking of someone else,
we're actually sending them energy.
We're all energetically connected.
And what happens after a breakup is sometimes
what we do is we focus on the other person.
What are they doing?
What are they posting on social media?
And the thing is, the more we think about them,
the more we energetically send them energy.
And the more we are then diffusing our own energy field.
The more we are literally wasting our own energy.
We're feeling more scattered and it has a negative effect
on our own energy, feeling more tired.
So one thing that I've had to always remember is
just to pull my energy back into my body, put my energy back
into my hands, put the energy back in my feet.
And take this as a time for you to focus on yourself.
To focus on your own healing.
To focus on your own life as well.
And the thing that I notice some people do
and the thing that I've done before is I focus on them
and it's like distracting me from what the breakup is
probably actually showing me what to do,
is showing me like you need to focus more on you.
Sometimes in relationship we're around someone a lot.
Our energy fields literally merge together.
This is why sometimes you'll have the same thoughts
at the same time.
You say, we can read each other's minds
We're so connected.
Part of it is just, you're also in the same field.
So when you're going through a breakup, the more you think
of them, the more you're activating them inside
of your field.
And the harder it go, makes it because there's like
their energy field stays inside your field.
So one thing that I highly recommend for this breakup
for you that I think will make it so much easier is to
actually go no contact.
No contact.
No contact means you're not reaching out to them
you're not talking to them.
And it makes it so much easier for you not to
keep evoking everything.
It doesn't mean you're not processing it
or you're avoiding it, but it means that you're going
into yourself, but you're not also using that as a crutch.
'Cause sometimes with no contact people like won't do it
and they'll say, "Oh, what if I just go
to the same gym that they go to so that I can run into them?
What if I just hang out with some of their friends
and maybe they'll be around?"
There's this hope
underneath that maybe you'll run into them again.
And then every the spark will rehappen.
The best thing to do is to pull your energy back
to bring it back into your own life
and to focus on your own vision, your own values
and your own self and your own healing.
And by doing that, I promise you not only like,
don't use that to get this person back,
but like, it benefits you in so many ways.
It's also much more magnetic and attractive
for you just to be in your own frame.
But right now is probably not the time to be like,
how do I be attractive and get validation on the outside?
So you wanna pull your energy back,
you wanna realize there's nothing wrong with you.
It's not your fault.
Everything is what it is.
It's the situation is something to accept.
And the thing I wanna share
with you that I haven't shared before
that is also kind of vulnerable is for a long time
in my life I have told myself this story that I just like,
I just don't cry.
I don't feel sadness.
It's, it was easier for me to tap into anger.
Like I could feel anger for like my childhood,
my ex stepmom, and the manipulation
that I experienced growing up,
didn't have much of a childhood.
I could feel angry about that.
It's kind of easy for me to do.
But sadness was something I just
I realized I never really allowed myself to feel.
And in my past, one of my breakups two, three,
two years ago, that was very challenging.
I didn't really cry.
I felt sad and I would like lose sleep and stuff,
but I never really cried.
I never really, I maybe tear up every now and then
but I never actually like released that kind of emotion.
And once again, it rewired a belief
that maybe there's something wrong with me.
Why can't I just feel like that?
You know?
And recently, ironically enough stuff came up
in my relationship a few weeks ago when I was doing that
of a breathwork training that I went through,
I became certified in a certain type of breathwork.
And when I did this training, part of it is you go
through many different levels of breathwork.
And I did breathwork two or three times and it was one
of the most transformative experiences in my life.
Even more powerful than that of certain plant medicines
and stuff like that.
Basically what happened is in ceremony you're breathing
in a specific pattern and as you're breathing
in a specific pattern, you are bringing up emotions
that were suppressed or repressed in the body
and then it comes out to be expressed and then
you release it.
And during the first day of this training
we did a breathwork ceremony.
And in it, I was starting to feel emotion come up
but there's this, there's this edge to where I'm right
at the edge, but like there's some reason I'm not
able to like feel it completely.
And one of the practitioners came over to me
and he put his hands on my heart and he's like,
I could just tell he was being very present with me.
So a lot of times when the, the healing happens
it's just the, the presence of somebody else
that's holding space for you, not trying to fix you,
not trying to like make you feel any different way,
just holding space.
And this guy came over to me, this practitioner,
and he put his hand on my heart and he was like, "Hey Doug."
He's like, he actually said "Hey dog."
He's like, he's like, "Hey man, it's okay to feel dog.
It's okay to feel."
And when he said that there was a part of me
that like started,
I started like feeling shaky to my body.
I felt myself kind of like starting to release emotion.
And then eventually he started crying.
And then that just put me
into this like, hoo like, like crying energy.
And I was crying.
I was releasing so much energy
and it was so energy like releasing for me.
But there were no tears.
And then of course I'm like
in the breathwork, I'm breathing.
I'm like, "Oh see, there's something wrong with me.
I can't release these freaking tears."
And then what happened is
that was one round, and it still felt really good though.
I still felt like good to to, to release that.
And then what happened is there was
a woman that was in the room, and it gets really loud
in these rooms 'cause some people are crying,
some people are yelling, some people were screaming,
there's all this energy going on.
There's this woman in front of me.
And she she was starting to go
through a process of where she was like screaming.
She had obviously been
through some type of trauma and she was screaming.
And when she started screaming, it impacted me
because I through her screams, could feel my own mom.
And my mom has been through some
of the most crazy shit when she was a kid.
She ran away from home when she was like 10 or 12 years old.
She had foster parents.
She'd been through crazy amount of different types of abuse.
And this woman, I could tell that was close
to me in the room and I'm going through a process
had been through a similar type trauma as my mom.
And in the moment that I felt her scream
I could feel the energy
of my mom and the energy of my ancestors,
'cause I believed that like my mom's like side
of the family has been through so much like sexual trauma.
And in that moment I started crying, bawling,
tears going down my face, soaking up in my ears.
Like it was so much emotion, it was crazy.
And I released that energy.
And when that happened, it was like, I felt so
much more sensitive after that.
I was using that as also a permission slip to let go
of the old story that like, I just don't feel
or like I can't, I don't feel sadness.
And when this happened, it was for three
or four days I was in this breathwork certification process.
I was staying with my ex-girlfriend at the time.
And because her house was so much closer
to the place where the, it was going, I lived kind of like
in a 40 minutes away from the city in this house.
So I would stay at her place.
And as I was going through this process in our relationship
all this shit was getting bubbled up.
All this stuff was coming
up because I was elevating my own,
I think I was elevating my own energy to
like a new level of emotional availability,
a new level of emotional sensitivity.
And when that would happen
it started bringing stuff up in our relationship.
And it was very interesting to me.
And I was like literally becoming more emotionally
expressive in the way where
whereas it was more sensitive, more present.
And what ended up happening is that led
to something that happened ironically, that led
to the breakup, something that kind of had to happen
and it was ultimately a good thing.
However, it also led to me being for the,
one of the first times ever
me being somebody that actually chose the breakup.
In the past, I, yeah, I, I'd go through a breakup
and I would almost fight because the breakup
to me symbolized my own sense of worthiness,
my own sense of proving myself
and the breakup meant I wasn't good enough.
And I didn't wanna like surrender to
this truth that I thought was so, and I noticed
that my dad, for example, my dad was in a relationship
with my ex stepmom who's like a narcissist and stuff.
My dad, like for him to get out of that relationship,
he, it wasn't actually him really breaking up
with my ex stepmom, it was his mom influencing him to do it.
And I realized that like my dad never really
showed the true masculine way of like how to break up
with somebody or like, I never knew what that was like to be
in my own frame and to actually choose something like that.
And I noticed in some of my past relationships
either shit would happen and eventually we'd have to break
up or it was like someone to break up with me.
And for the first time
I was able to actually choose something
like that from my own frame, for my own sense of self worth
versus me trying to fight for, you know, some type of
some type of like worthiness or trying to prove myself.
So the reason I'm sharing this with you is because this
in a way was, I believe my own initiation, like me wiring
in my own sense of self worth me wiring in my own sense
of like, of knowingness of my own emotional availability.
So often throughout my relationship, I felt
like at times I wasn't like, there was, I'm not,
I'm not enough.
Like I'm not showing enough emotion.
And as I look through my relationship now, I could see
that I actually was embodying emotional availability.
I was, I like, I felt like almost sensitive
and insecure that I wasn't, but I was.
And I can now see that and I can now own that and I can now
like me choosing the breakup was very empowering for me.
And that also funny enough, after, not funny enough,
but after that breakup I had, I've through the breakup
released more crying than I ever have
in any relationship ever.
And I think that part of that is because I'm actually
allowing myself to feel.
I'm allowing myself to feel, to not internalize things.
But you know, right after the breakup, even
after I got my stuff from my ex's house and I was
like driving off, I like cried almost the whole way home.
Tears streaming down my face.
Sun was like in my eyes
and I know I was just in the, I know I was in the
car like driving and people
on the other side of the road were like, "What the hell?"
I'm just like crying as the sun's like blurred in my face.
But feeling more is gonna be your healer or your,
the thing that really helps you
in this process is allowing yourself to feel
and not trying to like compartmentalize it.
Not trying to like, like distract yourself
by like finding someone else to validate yourself.
Like let yourself feel
and understand that the more you feel,
the more you heal, you're gonna heal.
And even if you're not feeling, it's okay,
don't beat yourself up.
Don't think there's something wrong with you.
I'd recommend maybe doing some type of breathwork.
If you haven't done the breathwork that I'm talking about,
there's this breathwork and you can check it
out by going to www.magneticmastery.com
if you haven't joined that yet.
But that's my monthly membership.
It's like, cancel any time.
But basically what it does is there's in there,
there's a bonus of that kind of breathwork that was
at my life event called The Shift Experience.
And it's an hour and a half experience that was HD recorded
with the music and everything.
Go through that process
and watch how much your life changes.
It's, this is something that like, it brings up
the energy and allows you to feel so much more free
and it really helps you let go of the past.
I found.
Couple other quick tips is cut,
do no contact and to the best of your ability.
Another thing I would highly recommend is muting
or blocking them on social media.
Some of the, you know, I've mute.
I mute just because some of the people
I've dated before are also on social media
they're also friends of mine.
It's just that there's a period of time where we're,
you know, not, it makes it easier not to talk.
So muting works or blocking them on.
If it's a toxic relationship or something you
feel called, blocking them can also be very powerful
because then you're not gonna see their stuff anywhere.
And it makes it so much easier just to
to move through when you're not seeing them
and activating their energy inside of your energy field.
And if you want to learn one of the most powerful processes
and really learn how to apply no contact
in the most powerful way,
this video right here will change your life
and will make this process so much easier.
If someone goes no contact on you,
the things you do next are very important
in understanding how you can switch the energy field back
or completely let it go.