“We are Venom.”
What do you get when you take
an alien parasite
and smush it together
with a human being?
Would you get to become
a supercharged,
head-eating
anti-hero like Venom?
Or would you die
a slow and painful death?
Uhhh,
I never thought I'd say this,
but I think I prefer to be
the guy who eats people's heads off.
”I have a parasite.”
Today, you're getting infected
with your very own alien parasite.
”You are a loser!”
With the release of
Venom: Let There Be Carnage
we've been thinking
nonstop about symbiotes.
But before we infect you
with a parasite from outer space,
let's introduce you to your body's
new roommate.
Venom is a sentient,
amorphous alien parasite called
a symbiote.
Symbiotes infect and hijack
their host’s bodies,
taking on portions
of their host's personality.
For example,
you throw one on
a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man,
you get an edgy web-slinger.
If you do the same to a serial killer,
you're going to get something like
Carnage.
Thankfully, the relationship
between Venom and his human host
Eddie Brock,
is more akin to an old married couple.
A very dangerous old married couple.
But you?
We’re not sure you’ll be so lucky.
First, the symbiote would make its way
into your brain.
Ugh,
what would Venom do up there?
Well, we may find our answer in a parasite
that didn’t come from outer space.
But from
cat poop.
aka the feline parasite,
is a microscopic
neurological parasite
known for altering the behavior of
sheep,
goats,
pigs,
cows,
rats
and cats.
While in the stomach
of their carrier host,
the itty bitty parasite eggs called
oocytes
morph into dangerous microbes
called tachyzoites.
Next, the parasite starts setting up shop
in your body
and makes a move on your brain.
Studies have shown that rats
infected with Toxoplasma gondii
have their brains
so rewired by the parasite
that it causes them to get a little
“frisky”
when they smell cats.
Which, as you can guess,
goes about as well as
trying to get a smooch from Carnage.
And if that wasn't freaky enough,
did you know that
this parasite may have already infected
Yeah.
Ever since the start of the 20th century,
when we started getting
into cats as pets,
as the number of
domesticated kitties grew,
so did cases of schizophrenia.
Researchers have linked
this spike to an increase
in the presence of
Toxoplasma gondii in humans.
Well, your parasite
didn't want to be buddies like Venom.
It wants to use you as food.
Kind of like the cordyceps fungus.
You know, that super disturbing
zombie ant fungi?
When the cordyceps fungus
takes over an ant,
it forces that little worker
to bite down on a leaf
and stay put until it dies.
In the meantime,
the parasite feeds off the ant
for three weeks,
growing out of the ant’s head
and creating more infectious spores.
This wouldn't look good for you either.
With your infection,
the parasite would know that
you're smarter than some
blue-collar worker ant.
Meaning it wouldn't
try to take over your nervous system.
Instead,
it would go right to taking
control of your muscles.
All while you helplessly watch.
So it seems
sharing your body with a parasite
isn't quite the comic book adventure
Venom makes it out to be.
And if it’s anything like
the Loa loa eye worm,
it sounds terrifying.
Measuring up to 10 mm (0.39 in) in length,
the eye worm can hide away
in the human tissue
anywhere from 10 to 15 years.
Yeah, it also does this
cute little thing where it
squirms across your eyeball,
leaving larva in its wake.
If these larvae
get close enough to your thinker
you could develop brain disease
like encephalopathy.
So if you do find yourself
infected with an alien parasite,
we'd recommend holding off
starting your life as a superhero
and maybe take a trip
to your nearest emergency room instead.
You know, when it comes to aliens,
safety is very important.
What are you doing?
Are you eating the alien parasite?
What if you ate an alien?
Well, we'll talk about it
over dinner on another WHAT IF.