Over, over?
Hell yes.
Done.
Okay good. Because it's against Lair Policy anyway.
I mean you shouldn't have been dating in the first place.
Trust me, if my power were rewinding time, I would.
What does that mean Hedgehog?
My name is Sonic.
Yeah, the Hedgehog.
God, how did I ever date him?
I don't know.
Hey!
Look, I get it. It's a 4-person Super Hero Team in close quarters
it was bound to happen. But before I can get the paperwork rolling I need to know,
is this official?
Check my Facebook Page.
Oh.
Okay.
*typing*
Uhm, no I don't want to update Firefox.
Yeah. Status single. That is official.
Boom.
Dropped that mic.
We done?
Oh, and you haven't accepted my friend request yet.
Oh, I don't go on Facebook a lot.
Are you going to accept it?
I used to think Quickster was cute. I mean
if he forgot my birthday, he could zip back with flowers before I could even get mad.
But then I realized he's a self-involved douche bag and I broke it off.
Not to mention that getting flowers wasn't the only thing he was quick at.
I mean sex. He came very quickly.
Hey!
#Proud in and out. Job done.
I mean like if Chris Hemsworth is the sexiest man alive for playing a super hero,
shouldn't I be the sexiest man alive for being a super hero?
It kind of makes sense right?
I really got to get this weapon inventory done.
Oh yeah, yeah sure.
Sorry. Uhm oh! Also about this whole break up thing--you're team Quickster right?
Up top!
My man!
Get the weapons done.
Yeah, I'm gonna get these done. Okay.
Thank you Quickster.
I...
I just wish we had a bigger Lair.
Since there are no other girls here, I'm really glad I have you.
Yeah, I do not feel comfortable taking on a female role.
But you're on Pinterest.
Well yeah, I like to pin things.
As the leader of a Super Hero group you have to manage a lot of egos.
But love? That is a battlefield I do not engage in.
Psst! Flamerod. Hey, do you got some time for some girl talk?
No.
I'll meet you at our spot.
I have got to change that name.
Like I don't even want to get serious but then he wanted to label it
and suddenly I'm the needy one?
What a jerk.
Not to mention he was super quick in bed. Did I tell you that already?
Yes yes yes yes, many times. Too many times.
I'm so glad I can open up to you, Flamerod.
Yeah.
*sobbing*
I told you, I want my cape back.
It was a gift. Besides, you said it slowed you down.
Well I want it, so give it back!
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!
Everybody just settle down. Please!
All right first order of real business, I'm changing my name from Flamerod to Firesticks.
I'll get PR on that, get it out to the public asap.
I'm HR, not PR.
I believe in you.
The best I can do is change it on your W-9.
That's good enough.
Can we hurry this meeting up? It's my bath night.
Okay, guys we're getting a new addition to the team.
She comes highly recommended.
She?!
We don't need another super hero.
I agree. We have plenty of powers between the 4 of us and this place is too small as is.
There's just no room for someone else.
Should I leave then?
But it would be crazy not to try and make it work.
Hi. I'm Sex Appeal. Anyone care to show me around?
Yeah, that's actually my job.
Sorry, they don't mean to stare. Hey guys, c'mon.
It's just been awhile since we've had a lady in the lair.
Hey!
That's my ex, she means nothing to me, I'm completely sick of her shit.
Hi.
So, I'll give you a tour. This meeting just wrapped up.
Good meeting guys.
Well--I'll join you on the tour.
No I can, uh...
Why don't you finish up some of that?
No no, yeah. We're done right?
*distant voices*
I've got stuff to do.
I think the new girl seems great!
And over here we have the guns, no the buns! Oh, I'm just joking, it's the weapons case.
Oh, just in case?
Ahahaha! Oh my God! Just in case!
That's good!
It's a case.
Wait is your other super power being super funny?
Maybe.
I can't believe nobody was here to hear that.
Hey girl, hey!
How are you settlin' in?
Oh, so great. Everyone is being super nice.
Yeah, yeah. So uh, Sex Appeal, what exactly is your super power?
Sex appeal.
Hahaha.
Yeah.
Wait, you're serious?
But how do you defeat villains? I mean this is not practical or tactical in any way.
I mean you're basically a walking male fantasy.
Don't you find that kind of degrading?
Oh, it's totally degrading. But guess what?
95% of villains and their colleagues are men. Therefore my body is my weapon.
My breasts have a 70% effect on the male's ability to focus and think rationally.
Thus giving me the advantage in the male-dominated crime fighting world.
So we'll they're staring at my tits, you can get in there and take care of business.
But that can't work on like every guy.
*knocking*
Sex Appeal! Are you decent?
No I'm not! Come on in!
Sonic, hey!
Hi, you are here.
Anyways I just wanted to check in on you and make sure you are settling in just fine.
Everything is perfect. Thank you.
Great. Now if you have any questions please uhm, just direct them to me.
I'm the leader. So I'm kind of the Top Dog here, lot of responsibilities, lot of muscles, ability to provide.
I got a sense of humor--
Hey! Sex Appeal!
Sex Appeal, I have some forms you need to finish?
Oh, I think I already filled them out.
No, there's more.
Still think it's not enough of a super power?
Did you get your physical? Actually before, uh, signing in here today?
First off, we don't need her. And second, Sex Appeal is a huge distraction!
What did you say?
Exactly.
Look, Sonic. Sex Appeal has a very interesting set
of powers and abilities that could really help this super hero team.
And so what if she's a little bit distracting. I mean what's the worst that could happen?
*alarm sounding*
"Attention! There has been a breach!"
I don't know, someone forgets to activate the force field!?
"I repeat! There has been a breach! All heros report!
*gasps*
Woa!
*applauding*
*cheering*
Oh!
For the camera! For the camera!
*cheering and applauding*
Guys don't worry. I got this.
Bring it.
Ow. He's super fast too.
Sonic! Do what you do.
*screams*
Number 48 of things I don't miss about dating Sonic.
*screaming continues*
I think his mask is like protecting him from my sonic blast or something.
Dude, where did you get that?
Hey!
It's about time you filled out your termination form.
I was going for the paper cut.
HR!
All right breakdancing ninja! Time to get poked by the Firestick!
Quickster where are you?
Hashtag that Super Hero life. Mm!
Really Quickster?
Hey. How's it going?
Dude, that's not going to work on me.
Why not?
Because I am a heterosexual woman.
Nice boobs though.
I know.
I think so too. Totally great boobs.
Please!
What are we going to do?
Don't you have any other super powers?
*Gun shot*
Oh!
God!
Ok that works!
Yeah.
Ah, paper cut!
Ouch!
I'm trademarking that.
Yeah!
Yeah.
We did it!
We did it! Yeah!
I did it! HR.
Great work team.
I totally forgot I had my gun.
Ahaha.
This whole time!
That was really cool.
That was cool.
Bullets are like the one thing.
Listen, we may not have worked out but you do a good job at keeping us all focused.
And uhm, I'm really glad to be on a team with you.
Thanks Quickster. Me too.
Hey, let's get a picture of all of us.
Yeah!
A normal one, please.
Of course.
All right, that's good.
Yeah, that last one was normal, I promise.
All right let us see.