This is not the Hollywood look. This is not.
There's two looks for Black women in Hollywood.
You either look like Halle Berry...
Or Precious.
And there's no...
There's no sliding scale!
I used to get sent to the most ridiculous auditions
when I was in Hollywood.
This was an actual audition I got sent for.
I'm not even making this up.
This was the name of the character.
Ghetto Hoochie Number Three.
I had one line. Do you wanna hear the line?
"Nigga, it's not your baby!"
That was...
I said to my agent, "I will not say that.
I refuse. I will not say it.
I've got integrity, I'm a Black woman. I will not do it."
And then I saw the money.
And I was like, "Nigga, it's not your baby!"
Do you think I'll get promoted to Ghetto Hoochie One?
What do you think? Do you think?
So, it's good to be back.
So, I don't know if you... Some of you look a bit confused.
Did you know there were Black people in England?
Did you know?
We are everywhere.
You look confused, though, sir. You look confused.
You're looking up at me, like,
"Is that Idris Elba? What is happening?"
I know! From London, England! Born and raised.
Obviously, Black people are not indigenous to England.
My mum came from Nigeria.
West Africa.
No! Don't cheer that shit!
She went from Nigeria to England.
What the fuck was she thinking?
My mum had the pick of the globe.
She could've gone anywhere in the world.
I imagine my mum in Nigeria with all her maps
spread out before her.
"Where shall I go? Where shall I go?
You know what?
I am fed up with the sunshine.
I want to go somewhere with a lot of drizzle...
and subtle racism. That's what I want, subtle."
Because I don't know if you know this, Americans,
but the Brits are the best at racism.
They're the best!
They're better than you, Americans.
They're so good,
you don't even know you're being discriminated against.
They are fucking ninja racist!
And that's why I prefer good, old-fashioned, American racism.
Yeah, I said it, America. I prefer it.
It's in your face.
You know where you stand with American racism.
You guys have even made movies to let me know
where I'm welcome and where I'm not.
For instance, I know I'm never going to fucking Mississippi.
I've seen the films!
Having said that, though...
my manager did recently put some shows in my calendar...
for Birmingham, Alabama.
I know!
I saw that come up in my calendar and I was like,
"Fuck, no!"
And then I saw the money.
And I said, "You know what?
We shouldn't be so quick to judge.
We should give the people a chance."
So, I went to Birmingham, Alabama, people!
And it was all right, I had a good time.
I experienced that Southern hospitality,
the shows were great,
and they put me in a very nice hotel.
Very nice. I was very surprised by this. I'll tell you why.
I'm from England.
All I know about Alabama is from your movies,
so I wasn't expecting to be staying in no nice hotel.
I was expecting to be staying in a shack,
on a swamp...
run by some guy wearing overalls...
who referred to me as "boy"! That's what I was expecting.
So I was very surprised by the hotel.
I thought, "Oh, this is lovely! This is very civilized.
This is wonderful."
I basically treated Alabama the way white people treat Africa
the first time they go.
You know, I'm talking about white people -
You turn up in Africa for the first time; you're like,
"Wow!
They have cars and shoes and shit."
That's how I was in Alabama.
I was like, "Wow! They have electricity and teeth! This..."
Lot of Black people in Alabama.
That shocked me. I was surprised by that.
I was like, "Wow! Lot of Black people."
I got off the plane, and I saw the Black people,
and I ran up to them, I was like that.
"You know you can leave, right?
You don't even have to go underground.
You could just drive!"