[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> HELLO, SAN DIEGO PUBLIC
LIBRARY. WE ARE SO EXCITED WE HAVE A
SPECIAL GUEST TO READ BOOKS TO YOU.
>> HE'S SO GENEROUS TO DONATE HIS TIME.
WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE HAS PLANNED, BUT HE'S GOING TO
TEACH YOU ALL ABOUT READING. PLEASE WELCOME RuPAUL.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
I'M SO GLAD TO BE HERE. READING IS SO IMPORTANT.
I EVEN BROUGHT EVERYONE READING GLASSES.
>> WOW! FUN.
>> NOW, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO READ, THEN YOU TRY.
>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME? >> HER NAME IS KAITLYN.
>> CAN SHE READ? >> SHE'S STARTING TO, YES.
>> KAITLYN, SWEETIE, I BET YOU HAVE A PLENTY OF WASHED UP BASIC
LITTLE FRIENDS THAT YOU CAN'T WAIT TO READ HER FILTH, ISN'T
THAT RIGHT? >> WHAT?
>> WELL, NOW, THIS IS A TIME WHERE I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS
HAPPENING. SO, RU, HERE'S SOME BOOKS THAT
YOU CAN USE. >> OH, READ THE BOOKS?
OKAY, SURE. ALL RIGHT.
THE LIBRARY IS OPEN. FIRST UP, ELOISE BY
KAY THOMPSON. ELOISE, YOU NEED TO CALL THE
FRONT DESK AND GET A HOT OIL TREATMENT FOR THAT BROOM ON YOUR
HEAD. VICTORIA'S SECRET CALLED, THEY
WANT THEIR WALLPAPER BACK. AND WHAT IS SHE DOING, POPPING A
FART? GOT THAT LEG ALL CRANKED OUT.
ALL NASTY. GIRL, PLEASE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> OKAY, NEXT UP, WE'VE GOT
MADELINE, BY LUDWIG BEETHOVEN. MISS MADELINE, I HAVE BAD NEWS,
THE EIFFEL TOWER IS NOT IN THE WOODS.
YOU BETTER DRAW FRIENDS RIGHT, BITCH.
SOMEBODY'S TRYING TO ACT LIKE THEY'VE BEEN TO PARIS.
BUT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE, GIRL.
>> WHAT IS HE DOING? >> NEXT IS THE SECRET OF THE OLD
CLOCK. HONEY I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE
SECRET IS. SHE'S OUT THERE DOING IT
HERSELF. SOMEBODY FOUND HER AND SHE JUST
GRABBED SOME RANDOM CART LIKE SHE WAS FIXING IT.
GOOD GOD, GIRL, GET A GRIP. YOU CRAZY.
>> OKAY, LET'S PAUSE FOR A SECOND.
I THINK PEOPLE MIGHT BE A LITTLE CONFUSED.
>> WELL, I'M READING THESE BOOKS FOR THE GIRLS.
>> OKAY, I BELIEVE READING IS LIKE PERSONAL INSULTS.
>> READING IS LIKE THROWING SHADE.
AN INSULT WRAPPED INSIDE WORD PLAY.
READING IS FUNDAMENTAL. >> OKAY.
I'M SO SORRY, WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT, GO AHEAD.
>> THANK YOU. HA
GIRL, KBOOI. NEXT.
THIS GIRL IS SHAPED LIKE A BMW. BODY MADE WRONG.
AND WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR FOUNDATION, WHY YOU LOOK SO
ORANGE. AND YOUR BODY IS GREEN, GIRL.
POP OFF. OH, BEAR GOT SOME BUSTED
OVERALLS. SHE THINKS SHE'S BOHO LIKE
ZOOEY DESCHANEL. YOU AIN'T BOHO, YOU BROKE HOE.
BE GONE. >> THIS ISN'T VERY EDUCATIONAL.
SHOULD WE LEAVE? >> ABSOLUTELY NOT, THIS IS THE
MOST FUN I'VE HAD SINCE THIS LITTLE GIRL BLASTED OUT AT ME.
>> THIS IS SO FUN. DO ME.
DO ME. >> HONEY, YOU AIN'T WORTH THE
CRABS. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OKAY, I'D HATE TO INTERRUPT BECAUSE I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE
FIELD DAY YOU'D HAVE WITH ME, BUT I'M NOT SURE THIS IS USEFUL
TO OUR KIDS. >> SIR, THESE ARE CHILDREN
SPENDING THEIR SATURDAY IN A LIBRARY WITH RuPAUL.
A WELL TIMED READ IS GOING TO SAVE THEIR LITTLE BOOTIES ON THE
PLAYGROUND, RIGHT? >> I WANT TO TRY.
>> OKAY. >> LIBRARY MORE LIKE STRAWBERRY.
>> OH, OKAY. BLESS HER HEART.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT -- YOU'RE ALMOST THERE.
MAY I CONTINUE? >> OF COURSE.
>> "JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH." THAT PEACH IS GIANT AND IS
JUICY. MUST BE JELLY, BECAUSE JAM DON'T
SHAKE. OKAY, CHILDREN, YOU GO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]