What is the most successful communication tool with your loved one?
Friends, I'm Kris Krohn. Limitless TV and today we are going to be discussing that
very thing and I'm going to share with you some of the best advice I've
received in my degree from college and marriage family human development on how
to communicate like a rock star with your loved ones.
I do have some advice today on how to talk with your spouse because I've spent
a number of years learning kind of from school of hard knocks, how to not
communicate with your spouse.
When my wife and I first got married I think our
love story probably feels a lot like maybe yours did. I mean we were so into
each other totally in love. We tied the knot, got hitched, and I started finding
after a short period of time that while we went into our eyes we went into our
marriage with her eyes half opened. They became fully opened on the other side of
the on the line when we got married and I found that I was wanting things for my
wife. I was having expectations for my wife and we developed some unhealthy
communication patterns because we communicated differently. If I said
something she didn't like or she isn't like how I was talking with her, she
would shut down. That pattern would get me upset. Then I would say, whatever I was
saying louder. And I would exaggerate what already wasn't working. And then my
wife would walk out or just turn over or fall asleep. And you know, so, we've had
our experiences with what doesn't work and what I want to do today is I want to
share with you how brilliant marriage can be when you use a different talking
pattern. There's three specific steps that I want to share with you that my
wife and I have been using now for the last decade and it's led to some of the
most amazing conversations and results and outcomes because there's a different
level of respect and pattern of how we communicate with each other. So here's
the three steps. Anytime you're communicating with
whether it's a loved one, a business partner, this advice goes for anyone on
the planet. The first of the three steps is to acknowledge them. That means they
just finished saying something. So if you don't acknowledge them, what you're
communicating is that what you have to say is more important than what they
have to say. So start with thank you for sharing that opinion or acknowledge
whatever you can do authentically and honestly. After you acknowledge them the
second thing is to repeat back what you think you heard not what you know you
heard, what you think you heard. Remember, if men are from Mars and women are from
Venus, then just about every person on the planet really has a different
perception of their world so why don't you share back and here's what it's
going to sound like, What I thought I heard you say was
this. Is that right? And what you're doing is you're getting some clarification
because you might be surprised how often your loved one comes back and says, no
that's kind of what I'm saying but actually I'm saying this and like wow
glad we cleared up that perception. So I'm going to acknowledge them, I'm going
to repeat what I heard back and make sure that I have an accurate as possible
understanding of what they're communicating, and then number three I'm
going to build on that conversation. I'm going to add to that conversation.
Acknowledging, repeating, and building. Those are the three steps that we're
talking about and having Rockstar communication with anyone on the planet.
You know how amazing it is to be able to acknowledge people? Their favorite word
in the human language is their own name. Shauna thanks for sharing that with me.
Nate thanks for sharing that with me. James I appreciate that point of view.
Step two, let me make sure I heard you correctly or I want to make sure and see
if I understood this correctly what I heard you say was and then in your own
words repeat back make sure that you really are on the same page and then
once you've done that and they acknowledge that, yes in fact we are
understanding each other or they've helped correct some of your thinking. The
third step is all right let me share some of the ideas that I've been having
and see if any of those will work for you too.
What to invite you to practice this today. In fact, start a conversation with the very
next person you meet and get their opinion on something.
And then acknowledge them, repeat back and confirm what you think you're heard,
and then the third step is then add your own opinion. Add your own thoughts.
This format of communication has been magic for me and my wife it's gotten us
on the same sheet of music and you can have that with any person you meet when
you use these awesome effective simple communication skills.
Thank you for
watching today's video here with limitless TV. If you're new to the
channel make sure you hit that subscribe button and other than that, next week
when we get together I'm going to be jumping back in the real estate
conversation and talking about how you acquire very large huge multifamily homes