♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY!
WELCOME BACK.
VALENTINE'S DAY IS THIS WEEKEND.
WINE, CANDY, AND CHOCOLATES...
ALL THINGS YOU'VE BEEN EATING EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR, SO YOU'LL
WANT TO THINK OF SOMETHING NEW.
MAYBE GIVE HER A NICE SET OF RADIAL TIRES.
BUT VALENTINE'S DAY ALSO MEANS CARDS.
AND AS TALENTED AS THEY ARE, THE PEOPLE WHO WRITE THOSE CARDS
DON'T ALWAYS NAIL IT ON THE FIRST TRY.
WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT WE'RE TAKING A LOOK AT SOME EARLY
GREETING CARD EFFORTS IN OUR SEGMENT, "FIRST DRAFTS."
♪♪♪ >> NO, NO!
STUPID!
♪♪♪ >> Stephen: NOW, ORDINARILY, I
WOULD DO A BIG SHOW OF TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO DO FIRST DRAFTS
WITH ME.
BUT YOU KNOW WHO IT IS -- THE ONE, THE ONLY EVIE MAGEE, MY
WIFE IS HERE, SOMETIMES COLBERT.
IT COMES AND GOES.
>> IT'S CONFUSING.
>> Stephen: IT IS.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DARLING.
>> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: GOT YOU BEAUTIFUL CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO GIVE MY WIFE A PILE OF VALENTINES
CARDS.
THE TOP CARD WOULD BE SOLD TO YOU AT A DRUGSTORE.
BELOW THAT IS THE FIRST DRAFT OF THE CARD THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH
TO BE SOLD.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE PREMISE.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
DO YOU WANT A ST STRAWBERRY?
MY DARLING, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY DAY.
HERE'S A NICE ONE.
IT SAYS "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY... WE HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY."
WHICH WE REALLY DO.
>> WE DO.
SOMETIMES.
>> Stephen: SOMETIMES...
27 YEARS?
27 YEARS.
>> OH YOU'RE PRETENDING YOU DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: 27 OR 28.
OCTOBER IS 28.
>> Stephen: IT'S JUST GETTING HOTTER.
>> UTTER JOY.
>> Stephen: JUST GETTING HOTTER.
>> Stephen: BUT THE ORIGINAL DRAFT SAID, HAPPY VALENTINE'S
DAY.
THERE'S NO ONE I'D RATHER RUN THIS METH LAB WITH."
MIGHT HAVE SET UP THE PUNCH LINE TOO FAR FROM THAT ONE.
MIGHT WANT TO KEEP THE BANTER -- >> THIS IS NICE, YOU BROUGHT JOY
INTO MY LIFE.
>> Stephen: YES, THIS ONE, AS SHE JUST TOLD YOU,
SAYS "YOU BROUGHT JOY INTO MY LIFE.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY."
>> VERY SWEET.
>> Stephen: IT'S TRUE.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID "YOU BROUGHT JOY INTO MY LIFE...
BUT I'M NOT INTO THIS THROUPLE, IT'S TIME FOR JOY TO MOVE OUT."
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE PREMISE OF THAT.
>> I THINK SO.
>> Stephen: DO YOU?
I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU LATER.
>> IN THAT SITUATION, AM I JOY?
>> Stephen: YES.
AND MARK IS THE -- THIRD OF OUR THROUPLE, I THINK.
( LAUGHTER ) DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR
VALENTINE'S DAY DAY?
>> DO I HAVE ANY PLANS?
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY DAY,
SIMPLE QUESTION.
>> I DO NOT.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND IT WITH ME?
( LAUGHTER ) >> YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND
VALENTINE'S DAY WITH YOU.
>> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE TO SPEND VALENTINE'S DAY WITH YOU,
TOO.
WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
IT'S COVID.
>> I DO HAVE A THOUGHT.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR THOUGHT?
>> SO YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE TAKING MY PELOTON CLASSES, SO I TOOK A
PELOTON CLASS IN '80s MUSIC, REMEMBER I TOLD YOU.
>> Stephen: YEP.
AND THE TEACHER I LOVE, JEN SHERMAN, TALKED ABOUT RIDING
AROUND IN HER CAR IN THE MID '80s WITH HER MIXED TAPE MUSIC
BLARING.
I THINK WE SHOULD GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE AROUND LIKE WE WERE
TEENAGERS.
NO PODCAST OR NEWS.
>> Stephen: JUST YOU AND ME.
MAYBE BENNY.
>> Stephen: MAYBE THE DOG.
MAYBE.
>> Stephen: MAYBE.
COULD I HAVE THE -- MM-HMM.
THIS ONE TAKES A MORE POETIC APPROACH.
OUR LOVE IS LIKE THE OCEAN...
BOUNDLESS.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID: OUR LOVE IS LIKE THE OCEAN...
ONLY 5% HAS BEEN EXPLORED AND WE'RE TERRIFIED OF WHAT LIES IN
THE DARKNESS.
>> OH, GOD, I THINK THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
>> Stephen: THAT IS THE REACTION WHEN YOU FIND SOMETHING
FUNNY, TO STATE THAT IT IS FUNNY.
THAT IS THE NOTHING MORE A COMEDIAN WANTS TOP HEAR THAN 400
PEOPLE GOING, THAT IS FUNNY.
( LAUGHTER ) I FIND THAT AMUSING.
BREATHTAKINGLY LEVEL-HEADED GIRL I MARRIED.
THAT IS EVIE-APPROVED IS WHAT THAT JOKE IS.
>> CHECK.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
( CLEARING THROAT ) THIS IS A GOOD ONE.
THIS ONE HAS A CLASSIC TALE.
IT SAYS, "I FINALLY FOUND MY ROMEO" AND
NOTHING CAN KEEP US APART.
BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, "I FINALLY FOUND MY ROMEO... SO IF
I EVER SEEM DEAD, FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST WAIT A MINUTE BEFORE YOU
KILL YOURSELF, I MIGHT JUST BE IN A NACHO COMA!"
( LAUGHTER ) THERE YOU GO.
THERE YOU GO.
THIS IS NICE ONE.
IT SAYS, "YOU'RE EVERY BIT AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE MOMENT WE MET.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MY LOVE."
THAT IS TRUE.
>> VERY SWEET.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THE MOMENT WE
MET.
>> THAT IS VERY SWEET.
A LONG, LONG, LONG TIME SINCE THE MOMENT WE FIRST MET.
>> Stephen: BUT THE FIRST DRAFT SAID, YOU'RE
EVERY BIT AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE MOMENT WE MET... WHICH WAS
SECONDS AGO WHEN I HANDED YOU THIS CARD.
I'M PAUL, BY THE WAY.
HOPE THIS ISN'T WEIRD."
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY DAY, DARLING.
>> THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH COUNTRY MUSIC STAR
BLAKE SHELTON.
DID YOU SAY KISS?
OKAY.
♪♪♪