-What is this?
-What does it look like, dummy?
It's a bridge of spies.
Go away.
We're spying.
-I want to test you a little bit, you know, see what you got.
-You got it. Bring it on.
-So I was thinking maybe you could perform a few scenes
from "Bridge of Spies" for us right now.
How does that sound? -Challenging but fun.
Let's do it. -That'd be fun?
Now, here's the catch -- the scenes are not from
the actual movie.
They were all written by elementary school kids.
We gave them no direction,
just the title "Bridge of Spies."
Alright, here we go. It's time for "Kid Theater."
Here we go.
-♪ Kid Theater ♪
♪ Kid Theater ♪
-Alright. -Alright.
This first one, here's your script.
-Thank you very much. -No problem.
This one is from Chris. He's 8 years old.
You'll be playing the role of spy.
-Yes. -And I will be playing
the role of man. -Okay.
-Higgins will read the scene descriptions for us.
Higgins, set the scene, please.
-There was once a bridge that was full of spies.
A man walked up to it.
-What is this?
-What does it look like, dummy?
It's a bridge of spies.
Go away.
We're spying.
-Can I be a spy?
-No.
This bridge is too full of spies already.
There's not room for any more.
-Who are you spying on?
-Each other.
-How?
-You sure ask a lot of questions for someone who is not a spy.
[ Laughter ]
-Maybe I
-Are you?
-No.
-Are you sure?
-No.
-The man rips off his mask.
-You are a spy!
-Exactly! And you fell for my trick.
Therefore you are no longer a spy.
Hahahahaha!
-Hahahahaha!
[ Applause ]
-What are you laughing at?
-Nothing. I just wanted to keep acting like a spy.
-And scene.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That is a very -- -That is a nice one.
-That is a nice one. -You're keeping that one?
-That deserves a second look. I think it really does.
-This is the second one here for you.
-Let's see what this one is. -This is sent in by Jack.
He is 7 years old.
For this one, I'll play Joe,
and you'll play the role of Margaret.
-Let me adjust my -- Alright, I am now Margaret.
-You are Margaret and I am Joe.
Okay, Higgins, will you set the scene for us, please?
-Margaret walks up to Joe on the sidewalk.
-Hi, Joe!
-Hey, Tim! I mean Margaret!
[ Laughter ]
-Joe, how do you get me and your brother mixed up?
We've been going out for eight years!
-Sorry, you kind of look alike.
-Anyway, did you hear about the new bridge?
-What bridge?
-You know! The bridge of spies!
-No! What the heck is that?
-Well, I'll tell you...
-Wait!
-What?
-Okay, never mind.
I thought you were Tim for a second.
[ Laughter ]
Tell me about the new bridge.
-Well, they're gonna build this new bridge
somewhere in China or something,
and they're gonna call it the bridge of spies
'cause they are finding spies
and taping them together to make a bridge.
[ Laughter ]
-Wow! That's gonna take like a hundred years!
-Yeah! They didn't have enough wood,
so they're gonna use spies.
-What do the spies think of it?
-I don't know the spies, Joe.
-Sorry for asking, Tim.
-I'm not your brother, I'm Margaret!
-Want to get dinner? -Yes. Cake, please.
-And scene.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Think about it. Think about it.
I'll take that one. -You want that one?
Take another look at that.
-I'll take another look at that one.
-A little polish on that, a little rewrite.
-And I'll get it back to you.
This last one here, this is the last one,
sent in by Luke.
He's 7 years old.
Thank you for sending these in.
Tom, you'll be playing Spy #1. -Spy #1.
-And I'll be playing Spy #2.
-Alright. Spy #1.
-Higgins, set the scene, please.
-Two spies stand on a bridge.
One of them has a pair of binoculars.
-I can see bad guys coming in the distance.
-I wish I could see them too,
but you're the one with the binoculars.
[ Laughter ]
-It's not my fault you forgot yours at home.
-It kinda is. You told me we wouldn't need them today!
-I was joking!
We always need them. We're spies!
-Obviously! But we're also friends, so I trusted you!
-You should never trust a spy!
-But what about trusting... a friend spy?
-Spy 1 and Spy 2 look at each other.
Spy 1 looks amazed.
-Wow.
I never thought about it like that before.
Maybe friendship is more important than spying.
-Exactly.
-Here. You can have my binoculars.
[ Audience "awws" ]
-Spy 1 hands over the binoculars to Spy 2.
-Ha! You're such a loser.
Rule number one of being a spy
is never hand over your binoculars!
-You tricked me.
You're a good spy and I'm a bad spy.
-You're right. I'm the best and you're the worst.
-Uh-oh. The bad guys are here!
We have to fight them now!
-But we're both terrible fighters!
-Quick, throw the binoculars at them!
-Spy 2 throws the binoculars at the bad guy
and hits him in the face.
The bad guy falls.
Spy 1 puts his arm around Spy 2.
-We did it!
We saved the world.
Let's go get lunch and talk about our friendship.
-And scene.
[ Cheers and applause ] Fantastic.
That's what I call acting chops. -That goes away.
-That's the one. That's the one right there.
Tom Hanks!
I want to test you a little bit, you know?
I want to see what you got. -Alright.
-So I was thinking
maybe you could perform a few scenes from "Birdman"
for us right now
and we could see how good your performance is.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Does that sound --
Does that sound cool?
-So you're kind of -- you want to test me.
-Yeah. Yeah, is that cool?
-I ain't afraid of you, bitch, so...
[ Cheers and applause ]
-It's a fun game.
We're playing a fun game together.
-Okay. -Yeah. Here's the catch.
The scenes that you'll be reading are not
from the actual movie. -Okay.
-They're all written by elementary school kids.
We gave them no direction. We just gave them the title.
And we asked them to write a scene
based on what they think a movie called "Birdman" would be about.
-Uh-huh.
-Do you want to do this?
I'm gonna read them with you.
-I ain't afraid of you, bitch. -Alright, let's go.
Let's do it. Time for "Kid Theater."
Here we go.
-♪ Kid Theater ♪
♪ Kid Theater ♪
-Alright, here we go.
This first one here is from -- this is from Connor.
He's 7 years old from New York City.
-What part am I playing?
-Alright, you will be playing Birdman.
-Oh, okay. -Okay, good.
I will be playing the role of the baseball hitter.
-Oh, okay. -The baseball hitter.
-This is from Connor. -Yes.
Higgins will read our scene directions, descriptions for us.
Higgins, please set the scene.
-This story takes place on a baseball field.
The best baseball team is losing and the best hitter needs help.
-Oh, no.
I need to hit a home run.
Someone please help.
-Did someone say help?
I am here.
-Wow, it's Birdman!
I thought you were not real.
-I am real and I am here to help you!
Do you need power to hit a home run?
-Yes, please.
[ Laughter ]
-Okay. All you need to do...
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
All you need to do...
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
...is touch my beak.
-The hitter touches his beak. Beak.
[ Laughter ]
-Wow! I'm gonna hit a home run now.
Thank you, Mr. Bird!
-No problem. If you have wings, you can do anything.
-Where can I get wings?
-[ Chuckles ] Target or Walmart!
[ Laughter ]
-And scene! There you go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Target or Walmart.
-[ Laughs ]
-These are fantastic. -That was great.
The next one here -- Here you go. This is for you.
-Thank you. -This next one
is sent in by John.
He's 7 years old. He's from Dallas, Texas.
Michael, once again, you'll be playing Birdman.
-Okay.
-I'll be playing the role of Thomas.
Higgins, set the scene. Let me get in character.
-A little boy meets his favorite superhero
for the very first time.
[ Laughter ]
-Birdman! Is that you?!
-Caw! Caw! Caw!
[ Laughter ]
-If you don't get this Oscar, man, I'm telling you --
I mean, this is like --
I always believed in you, Birdman.
I am your number-one fan.
-Caw! Caw! Caw!
[ Applause ]
-[ Laughs ]
I want to be just like you when I grow up, Birdman.
[ Laughter ]
-Caw! Caw! Caw!
[ Laughter ]
-I --
I wish my dad was here to meet you too.
-He is.
Wow.
-Where?
-I am your dad, Thomas.
-I knew it, Birdman Dad.
-No, you didn't.
-You're right.
Can you call me --
[ Laughter ]
Can you call me Bird Son?
-No. Your name is Thomas.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ] -And scene.
One more.
Alright, the last one. Let's do one more. Here you go.
-Okay. These are unbelievably great.
-This is the last one. -These are actual kids, right?
-How cute, man. Let's do one more.
This last one -- -You want to do Birdman?
-Yeah. -You want to play him?
-I'll play -- I'd love to play Birdman.
-You got it. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright, here we go.
Did we say who this is from?
This is from Duncan.
He's 6 years old from West Orange, New Jersey.
Duncan. Higgins?
-Ready?
Things aren't going good in the city,
but here comes Birdman to help.
-I'm the Birdman here to save the day.
I just saved your life. What's your name?
-My name is Birdwoman.
[ Laughter ]
-Wow! I love you, Birdwoman.
You should be my bird wife.
-Okay.
-We'll be a team that fights bad guys together.
Birdman and Birdwoman.
-Birdwoman and Birdman.
[ Laughter ]
-Whatever you say, Birdwoman. We're married now.
-This is great.
-Let's protect the galaxy!
-I love you.
-And scene right there.
I felt that. [ Cheers and applause ]
That's what I call acting chops.
Thank you to Michael Keaton.
[ Cheers and applause ]