>> LOOK AT US.
BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, THANKS FOR COMING DOWN TO SEE US TRK
HAS BEEN SUCH AWHILE SINCE WE WERE ALL IN THE STUDIO TOGETHER.
>> YES.
>> AND SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE WE HAVE TO
CONGRATULATE YOU, YOU HAVE BECOME A FATHER.
>> YES, HAD A BABY THIS YEAR.
>> THIS IS HUGE NEWS, HOW IS IT, HOW ARE YOU HANDLING EVERYTHING.
IS IT FUN, ARE YOU DOING WELL, IS EVERYONE OKAY.
>> EVERYONE IS GREAT.
IT HAS BEEN A DELIGHT.
BUT THERE ARE DEFINITELY THINGS THAT YOU ARE NOT QUITE PREPARED
FOR.
>> RIGHT.
>> LIKE THE FIRST TIME, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOUR KID GETS A
BOOGER AND THEY GET STUCK IN THE NOSE AND THEIR MOSS TRILLS ARE
TOO SMALL TO PICK THEM OUT SO THERE IS A TUBE THAT YOU STICK
INTO THE CHILD'S NOSE AND THEN A TUBE THAT YOU THEN CONNECT TO
YOUR MOUTH TO SUCK THE BOOGER OUT, AND ST A REAL LEAP OF FAITH
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SURE IF THERE IS GOING TO BE A BARRIER
THAT WILL STOP YOU FROM SUCKING YOUR CLIELD'S BOOGER RIGHT INTO
THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT.
>> YEAH.
AND LIKE I THOUGHT POOP WAS GOING TO BE THE BIG THING.
POOP IS TO BIG DEAL.
I WILL SCOOP THEM RIGHT OUT OF THE TUB.
I WILL BE-- IF I'M HUNGRY I WILL SNACK ON THEM, WHATEVER YOU HAVE
TO DO.
>> I'M LIVING IN THE 2 1S CENTURY BUT FOR BOOGERS IT IS
STILL A TUBE?
SO.
>> YOU WITH RIGHT.
>> THEY INVENTED NOTHING IN THIS AREA, THEY GAVE UP WITHIN IT IS
EQUIVALENT OF THE BOWL OF RICE FOR YOUR PHONE.
>> IT IS, IT'S ALL WE HAVE GOT.
>> LIKE 1850 WITH BOOGER TECHNOLOGY AND JUST STOPPED.
>> DID YOU DO ANY TRICK OR TREATING?
>> YEAH, WE WENT OUT.
HE WAS INDIFFERENT TO THE WHOLE OPERATION.
BUT WE HAD A GREAT TIME AND I BROUGHT A PICTURE FROM OUR TRICK
OR TREATING ACTUALLY THAT I TOOK YESTERDAY.
>> WELL, THIS IS, YES, THIS, YOU SAW THIS SIGN WHEN WERE YOU OUT
TRICK OR TREATING.
LOOK AT THIS.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, SORRY NO TREATS THIS YEAR.
WHICH MEANS SOMEONE WENT TO THE EFFORT TO PAINT AN ELABORATE
SIGN TO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEIR KIDS CAN [BLEEP].
>> WHICH IS SO MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN JUST-- SO MUCH MORE EFFORT
THAN JUST A BOWL OF BUTTER FINGERS, RIGHT.
>> GO TO CVS AND BAG A BUY TRK IS THE EASY QUEST THING IN THE
WORLD.
>> HAVE I TO GET CITIZENS ILLS, MULTIPLE COLORS.
>> BUT ALSO WHY THIS YEAR?
I HAVE GOT A HUNCH THIS SIGN IS UP AGAIN NEXT YEAR, THAT IS MY
HUNCH.
>> I WOULD SAY SO.
>> AND PATTON, ARE YOU FROM VIRGINIA WHAT WAS HALLOWEEN LIKE
THERE.
>> HALLOWEEN WAS REALLY FUN BUT I WAS TRICK OR TREATING DURING
THE 80 ITSEE WHEN THERE WAS THAT BIG SATANIC PANIC GOING ON IN
BETWEEN HALLOWEEN AND DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, THEY ALL THOUGHT WE
WERE BEING LURED BY SATAN SO THERE WAS A PREPARER, AND THIS
IS A REAL THING NAMED BOB LARSON AND HE HAD A THING.
BOB, HE HAD A THING CALLED THE HALLOWEEN ATTACK PACK.
SO WHAT IT WAS WAS A BAG FULL OF LITTLE TINY BIBLES AND WHEN THE
KIDS CAME TRICK OR TREATING, WOULD YOU PUT A BIBLE IN THEIR
BAG WHICH TO ME WHEN WE GOT THOSE IT WAS LIKE THIS HOUSE IS
BEING EGGED.
LIKE IT WAS A HOUSE EGGING KIT.
LIKE A BIBLE, THAT IS WORSE THAN RAISINS, LIKE JUST WHY ARE YOU
PUTTING A TINY BIBLE, BUT I WOULD COME HOME AND YOU DUMP OUT
THE CANDY OH THERE IS A BIBLE, ALL RIGHT, GREAT.
>> I DON'T KNOW THAT A BIBLE IS BEST READ IN A IT TINY TEXT.
>> NO.
>> LIKE THAT'S A LOT TO TAKE IN IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IF YOU
ARE LIKE-- .
>> MAYBE THEY ASSUMEDDED YOU HAD LIKE A MOUTH THAT HAD LOST ITS
WAY.
>> EXACTLY, YEAH.
>> MAYBE A MOUTH THAT WAS LISTENING TO A LITTLE BIT TOO
MUCH AIR METAL.
>> YEAH.
>> AND WAS DRESSING ALL IN GOTH AND I'M LIKE HEY, HERE WE GO.
>> AND YOU IGNORED THAT NOW.
>> YOU WOULD IGNORE THAT.
>> JUST WANTED TO IT BE ALONE MAN.
>> KIDDING WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU GREW UP, WHAT WAS HALLOWEEN
LIKE, DID YOU USED TO HAND OUT.
>> THERE WAS CANDY, THE RAZOR BLADES AND CANDY BARS BUT THEY
EVENTUALLY KAWTD ME DOING THAT.
AND BUT WINDERLY MY SCIEN TEACHERRER IN SIXTH GRADE WAS
LIKE WATCH OUT, I KNOW, THERE ARE MEN WHO HEAT UP PENNYS IN
CANS AND THEN GIVE THEM TO CHILDREN AND YOU, AND HE PUT
TSES IN YOUR HAND AND IT BURNS YOUR HAND.
SO I-- I.
>> WAIT, HANG ON.
>> BUT IF HE PUTS IT IN YOUR HAND, YOU KNOW, THE
WHOLE-- PUTTING A RAZOR BLADE IN CANDY IS YOU DONE KNOW WHO THE
PERSON DID IT.
BUT IF HE IS STANDING RIGHT THERE.
>> YEAH.
>> THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
>> WEARING OVEN MITS.
>> GIVE ME ONE MINUTE, I JUST GOT TO GSH-- NOW PALTTON YOU ARE
IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR WHO IS READY TO LAUGH TOUR.
>> YEAH.
>> HOW HAS IT BEEN BACK ON STAGE AT THE MOMENT?
>> LOOK, IT IS FANTASTIC BEING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AND TO
PARAPHRASE MY FRIEND T IS ALSO GOOD TO BE ON THE ROAD BECAUSE
YOU ARE REMINDED THAT THE INTERNET AND TWITTER AREN'T THE
WORLD.
>> YES.
>> AND LOOK, WE SPENT THE LOCKDOWN ENGAGING WITH THE WORLD
THROUGH TWITTER AND THE INTERNET AND YOU THINK THAT OUT THERE IS
T IS ALL MARAUDERS AND PEOPLE YANKING MASKS OFF PEOPLE AND
GOING CRAZY AND YOU GET OUT THERE AND EVERYONE IS JUST KIND
OF-- THERE IS THE SAME AMOUNT CRAZINESS THAT THERE HAS ALWAYS
BEEN BUT WILL ARE JUST WAY MORE CAMERAS.
IF THERE HAD BEEN THE AMOUNT OF CAMERAS WE HAD NOW BACK IN THE
70S WE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OH THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END.
ALL THE CRAZINESS IS BEING FILMED 24/7 BUT IT IS OKAY.
>> I'M SURE ARE YOU MAKING LOADS OF PEOPLE HAPPY OUT THERE.
AND YOU ARE ALSO ON A STANDUP TOUR, ON THE MIDDLE AGE BOY
TOUR.
AND THIS IS EXCITING.
>> YES.
>> YOU ARE PLAYING CARNEGIE HALL, AS A NEW YORKER, THAT IS
HUGE.
>> IT IS.
YEAH, I MEAN PLAYING CARNEGIE HALL, EVER SINCE I WAS A TINY
CELLIST AS A SMALL BOY, I KNEW ONE DAY I WOULD MAKE IT TO
CARNEGIE HALL AND YOU KNOW TWO YEARS AGO WHEN I PIVOTED FROM
CLASSICAL CELLO TO STAND UP COMEDY-- WITHIN THAT WAS YOUR
SHOW.
>> EXACTLY, YEAH.
>> AND THE GREAT THING IS I'M FROM NEW YORK SO MY FRIENDS AND
FAMILY WILL BE THERE.
THE ONLY DOWNSIDE IS THAT MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WILL BE
THERE.
>> I DON'T LIKE PERFORMING IN FRONT OF.
>> I GET VERY, VERY NERVOUS.
I WAS JUST IN WASHINGTON D.C.
I DID THE KENNEDY CENTER AND BUT LUCKILY ONLY MY DAD CAME OUT.
MY MOM, I'M NOT SAYING THIS IN A YAY BUT SHE GOT SICK.
AND I WAS LIKE THAT IS SO TERRIBLE.
I DIDN'T WANT HER TO SHALL-- YOU GET NERVOUS.
>> MY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS WHO I LOVED, I THINK ARE STILL LIKE
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE IT?
>> YOU KNOW THEY'RE LIKE STEPHENSON'S FUNNY.