- (man) You know what we need more of?
Reality shows about stupid people! - (Ian) SHUT UP!
- (Jake) Quick, Finn! Jump on my back!
- (Finn) You're the best dog ever, Jake!
- Dude, this show is so unrealistic.
There's a talking, shape-shifting dog.
It's like they just gave up on trying to make things real.
- Well, obviously.
Can you imagine how dumb it'd be
if all TV shows were actually realistic?
♪ (light music) ♪
- I don't get it. Where's the half-man?
- I got your half-man right here.
(both screaming) (laughing maniacally)
♪ (light music) ♪
- Wow. We're hecka lost!
- A smoke monster! (screaming)
- Oh, no, mates.
I was just, uh, smoking a little crack.
♪ (light music) ♪
- "If you don't do what I say,
I'm gonna tell everyone you stuff your bra?"
How do they know that?
(quiet scoff)
♪ (light music) ♪
♪ (theme music) ♪
- Let me get this straight, Joey.
So Monica is dating Chandler, and Rachel's dating you?
- No, Ross. You are dating Rachel, but I want to date Rachel.
And Chandler is dating Rachel's boss. (laugh track)
- No, Chandler is married to Monica.
And you kissed Phoebe's sister, thinking it was Phoebe.
But then you went to-- wait. Uh...
You know what? Screw this.
I'm just gonna make this real simple
and just go date my right hand. (audience hoots and hollers)
- Lucky. (laughter and applause)
♪ (light music) ♪
- (voice-over) "Dear diary, vampires are scary."
- I'm going to suck your blood so hard.
(shrieking)
♪ (light music) ♪
- (fearfully) No... no... - We're gonna drink your blood.
- And look sexy while we're doing it.
- Sunlight!
(both scream)
♪ (light music) ♪
- Khloé? Do these pants make my butt look small?
- Totally.
(both screaming)
- (laughs)
♪ (light music) ♪
- What are we gonna do about these zombies?
- Okay, we need to stay in this house and survive.
So what kind of supplies do you have?
- Well, we have this.
But hey, at least we can play it
until this whole thing blows over.
- Cool. I love Wii.
- No, it's a Chinese knockoff called "Glii."
It only plays karaoke songs from that hit show Glee.
Check it out.
♪ We are handicapped ♪
♪ Geeky, pregnant, and gay ♪
♪ And that's a-okay ♪
- Oh no. No, I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
- (Anthony) ♪ Because it's provocative ♪
(zombies snarling) - Who's hungry?
(screaming)
♪ (light music) ♪
- Next up, we have Honey Boo Boo's mom.
- (deep voice) Mrarrh!
- She'll perform a complex tango, where her partner, Anthony,
will lift her in the air and do a triple twist.
- (burps, groans)
- Screw that.
♪ (light music) ♪
- Get your ugly-ass face out of my ba--
(groans) - (director) Cut!!
You call that a punch?
I want you to hit her as hard as you can.
Reality TV has to look real, people! (sniffs)
Punch her again!
Action.
- Aah! - Again!
Action. - (groans)
- (sniffs) Again!
Action.
- Aah!
- Cut! That sucked! Punch her again!
Harder! - Aah!
- (director) Faster! - (groans)
- (director) Less wrist! - (groans)
- (director) More fist! - You look like Big-- (groans)
- (director) Again! - Pepperoni-- (screams)
- I love my job.
Okay, great. Uh, this time, hit her in the uterus.
- Yeah, okay, that was pretty dumb.
- That's what I'm saying.
(stomach rumbling) Oh. Um, I gotta go home, dude.
You know how I feel about pooing in other people's bathrooms.
Later. (whimpering) Oh god.
(strained) Oh god. Oh, I don't think I'm gonna make it. (groans)
- That's okay. Just hop on my back, and I'll give you a ride.
- Uhh...
Oh!! Whoa, this is awesome!
But, uh, please hurry up. I don't know how long I can hold it.
- Don't worry, dude. I got an idea.
Whee! - Whoa!
(heavy sigh) Finally.
- Yeah, just make it quick, will ya? - You got it.
Power poo engage!
To see bloopers and a deleted scene from Man vs. Wild...
- (English accent) I'm going to have to climb this tree
and find some bugs to eat.
- (Ian) ...click the video, or click the link below!
All right, you're rubbing a little hard.
- Sorry, sir. - What are you imagining?
Power subscribe engage!
♪ (quirky synthesizer music) ♪