- There's a 20% chance I might have sex tonight.
I should probably shave down there.
(classical instrumental music)
Like hey, I'm a girl that goes to the club.
Booty time.
No.
I don't know, I don't know what to wear!
Can't take a photo.
Is this dress too slutty?
Yes. Okay, next one.
I'm gonna do a smokey eye tonight.
(growls)
Fuck.
(wailing)
Yeah, no, just, I quit.
Oh hello I'm Jessica.
'Sup.
No.
Calm down, you're gonna be fine.
Don't worry about it,
she's gonna love you.
Why do I care about someone I don't even know?
Because you haven't been on a date in a really long time
and you're afraid.
Okay, yeah, okay.
I'm just insecure, you're right.
Have you sent that text yet?
You haven't sent the confirmation text, you idiot!
What do I say?
I don't know what to say.
What do I say?
What do I tell her?
I'm excited for our ice cream date.
See you soon.
That way you're confirming at the same time,
as like anticipating.
I'm excited for our ice cream date.
See you soon.
(cell phone vibrates)
She said, "Okay, me too."
Okay, okay.
So this is happening.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Hey yeah,
I'm just letting you know that I'm going on a date
and if I don't call you back in an hour,
I have been murdered.
Yeah, just brutally, brutally murdered.
And you know what?
I forgot my wallet.
I forgot my wallet,
I gotta go grab
and get you know.
I forgot my keys.
I forgot a lot of things.