Oh, hey, you guys, look!
Ugly naked guy's putting stuff in boxes.
- Oh. - Oh.
Oh. Oh, I'd say from the looks of it
our naked buddy is moving.
Ah, ironically, most of the boxes
seem to be labeled "clothes."
Aw, I'm gonna miss that big old squishy butt.
And we're done with the chicken fried rice.
Hey!
Hey, if he's moving
maybe I should try to get his place!
- Oh, good idea. - Yes.
It would be so cool to live
across from you guys.
Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing.
You know, where you have a can
we have a can, and..
...and it's connected by a string.
Or we could do the actual telephone thing.
Oh, my God. I love this apartment!
- Isn't it perfect? - Ah.
I can't believe I never realized how-how great it is!
Well, that is because your eye
immediately goes to the big naked man.
(Phoebe) 'It's amazing!'
You better hurry up and fill out an application
or I'm gonna beat you to it.
[scoffing] Oh.
- Hey. - Hey, Ross.
- Hey. - Hey, Ross. Any word on the apartment yet?
Any word on the apartment yet?
Well, I called over there, and it turns out
ugly naked guy is subletting it himself.
and he's already had like a hundred applicants.
- 'Oh, man.' - 'No, no, I've got the edge.'
I know, it's not exactly ethical
but I sent him a little bribe
to tip the scales in my direction.
Yeah, check it out. You can probably see it from the window.
Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
No.
That new mountain bike?
No.
Well, what did you send?
A basket of mini muffins.
There-there's a whole table of mini muffin baskets.
Which one did you send?
- The small one. - What?
You-you actually thought
that basket was gonna get you the apartment?
Well, yeah!
Someone sent us a basket at work once
and people went crazy over those little muffins.
It was the best day.
Your work makes me sad.
Oh, man, I want that place so much!
And I was so sure that was gonna work.
There's 12 bucks I'll never see again.
- Oh! - Oh, Ross.
Honey, you gotta stop torturing yourself.
Yeah, why don't you just find another apartment?
Look, I've already looked at, like
a thousand apartments this month.
And none of them even compares to that one.
- You know what you should do? - 'Huh?'
You-you should find out what his hobbies are
and then use that to bond with him.
Yeah, like if I wanted something from Joey
I would strike up a conversation
about say, umm...sandwiches.
Or, uh...or my underwear.
I'm listening.
- See? - That is a great idea!
And I know ugly naked guy
because we've been watching him for like five years.
So that gives me back my edge!
Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller.
I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment
and I-I realize that the competition
is fierce but..
I'm sorry, I-I can't help but notice that you're naked.
And..
I applaud you.
Man, I wish I was naked.
I mean, this-this looks so great.
That is how God intended it.
Hey, hey, check it out! Check it out.
Ugly naked guy's got a naked friend.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God! That's our friend!
- It's naked Ross! - Yeah, it's Ross!