*comes in dramatically* Hey there. That looked way cooler in my head. Hello ladies and gentle-mental-men
Um, welcome back to Slazo, the best and only channel on YouTube and now I've seen what you've been saying
okay, you've been saying for me to get a haircut and to shave this, um
I'll tell you what-
500k I'll think about it, okay? Not before. (you look like a pedo tho)
Okay, so, Kickstarters. idubbbz kind of stopped making videos on them
so market's open. :)
I'm here for the taking.
Ok so, Kickstarter. The intention is ''Hey, I have a cool idea
Give me money so I can do it'' and then people give you money and you do a cool idea.
It worked well before, a couple of times, but most people don't have good ideas. Just look at YouTube
Um, and so we're gonna be looking at the 99 out of 100 that are terrible and shouldn't exist. Let's go!
Edited with powerdirector, we know it's gonna be good. That's a good sign from the get-go.
*idk what they are talkin bout tbh*
*still talking*
(why am i doing this...)
Yeah (no)
Not so portable, right?
(i should be sleeping...)
(too sleepy right now tbh)
*talking*
*are yall done?*
Okay, so what they're saying is, the problem is um power banks are too big, they're too hefty
Take up a lot of space. So we'll give you this, um,
single-use non-rechargeable
Slightly smaller one because you know just normal.. umm
Rechargeable ones are just too big. Yeah, this is it is so
Hefty, this is so big. I can't just put this in my pocket and not even feel it there
*air quotes about a dumb idea*
So the solution is obviously a way more wasteful more expensive per use
Single-use battery that's wrapped in a condom wrapper
for some reason
*more talk about a a bad idea*
Okay, that was convincing I'm really feeling a sense of camaraderie between these two people. That was a very natural high-five
I'm gonna do it now. You're gonna do what were you? Yeah
There we go. Just as rehearsed. And then they had this montage of them, you know planning out developing the battery
So they obviously put a lot of research into it, into derp
That's also what they called it, it's called derp.
It's obviously a lot of research, a lot of um
Man-hours went into this and I'm an asshole for roasting it yeah?
NO!
So the first comment here links this, which is just the Alibaba link to - hmm
Okay, that does look familiar there that one - one dollar fifty a piece
single-use charger
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
That right there does look familiar. I wonder where I've seen that and it's in the original wrapping and everything
Like that's what it comes in. It's... they just bulk buy them off Alibaba
And called it derp that's that's their development that's what all this work is... yikes,,
Okay so next up we've got this, it's just a picture. It's top kickstarter inventions
Enjoy family adventures hands-free from the perspective of your child capture the best family shaped-
Family shaped... capture the best family moments with this button shaped camera
Button shaped? what? Well, it is button shaped
But button sized? That's the caveat. Dude, look, that's a button, there are other yeah, the buttons are all over the place
It'll fit right in man. It's the same shape man.
If you've seen black mirror, then we know where this is going, don't we? We need to stop it.
Okay. This one's not a Kickstarter. It's a GoFundMe
But um, it's a $300 goal for someone's parking ticket
"Just give me 300 bucks because I'm rweally sad"
*super epic intro music*
*noises* * like pee yourself if you heard these in the dark noises*
Oh, did you hear that? (yeah we're not deaf)
Hey everyone,
My name is David Mills, and I'm the founder of the outdoors for everyone project.
I'm currently in the backcountry of one of America's great national parks it-
*rip ear*
Right so this one... um, it goes on for a bit long
I'll just um, basically it's saying hey I go to a lot of national parks
But a lot of disabled people can't go to national parks
So so it's become the mission of the outdoors for everyone project to bring the outdoors,
along with its therapeutic, inspirational and educational benefits to these individuals
Our traveling programs consist of two components. The first component and
Really the cornerstone of the programs is our huge, as if you were there, what we call
bIg AwEsOmE pHoToS
These photos are the jaw drop moment of the program
They're displayed during the program with the purpose being to replicate outdoor scenes and allow the
Attendees a sense of what it's like to be there to hike in or look out over the rim of the Grand Canyon- right,
so you'll just show them pictures of the parks that you went to to cheer them up and, hehe, and apparently they'll be like
"Whoa. Yeah!
a picture of a place that you went to!" two hundred sixty thousand, you know
I just - just pay me two hundred sixty thousand so I can show other people the cool places I went to
Seems like a good idea
Wow, it's like I'm really there!
Right so basically it's a step up from the people on like, GoFundMe or something who are like "hey
Fund my trip to Italy
t h e s o u n d s o f d e a t h
*w h y*
*stock basic unlicensed jam* *you wouldn't snap your fingers to it but maybe bob your head to make fun of it*
*how is this still going?* *we know what fidgets spinners are*
Okay, they're asking you like 150,000 US dollars, yeah
*scoff*
Reasonable if you ask me.
In November 2017, that's a little while after the fidget spinner craze
So they're a bit late and it's a whopping 240 milliamp power for reference
The iPhone 10 is two thousand seven hundred and sixteen
So if you're lucky it'll charge ten percent, but you can spin that boy ayyy that's still cool
Right?
bonjour, croissant, merci beaucoup
sPoOnI
*more french nonsense*
Okay, so the video is in some kind of alien language.
So basically it's a $64 spoon that has a little fan that blows on the
Food to cool it down for your kid. And how much were they asking?
110,000 um, you know
Reasonable enough.
And imagine trying to feed your kids soup like, you know, you got your soup. It's a bit hot
So you spoon it up like okay, I better turn the fan on for my little Johnny *beep*
But the hot soup is flying everywhere flies into your kid's face
right and then with a little bit of soup drakes that are left at the bottom of the bowl (*spoon)
You head it to little Johnny, you put it in his mouth you lift the spoon up
Bang! the plane bit hits his nose, gives him a bloody nose
That's what it'll be like and now we've got a really weird one. I-I love this one. It's good
Oh, so this is a suspended project by Kickstarter, you'll soon see why
Yeah, so basically this dude wants to build a um like.. a maglev train system that... hold on
There's a picture here. Yeah
It's a really tiny picture and it's not too much detail on it
but he wants to build an um basically a rail that goes up and up and up and up and just goes fooooo
and launches a train up to the moon
like
this is a real human idea like a, like a blowpipe just a little old dart the darts the train just pfffffff
*pfff* there it goes *pew*
Boom! Onto the moon!
It's a flawless idea and that's just one part of it
They're also gonna have one the other way back to earth
And they're gonna mine the moon apparently and how many billions will this cost like, this is not a cheap project at all
well
It's at the price of $100,000
100k is deposit on a house money
I've looked up the cost of a road. The first result on Google is, per kilometer of road
It's 5.1 million. That's Australian dollars. So it's a bit less in your dollars, I'd imagine, depending on where you are
But even if this is wrong
Even if it's remotely close to this number
Then put that in perspective
With a hundred thousand dollar rail
That shoots trains into space.
l think you see where I'm going. Here's the real kicker okay, if you pledge $5 or more
upon completion of the program
Contributors will receive a complimentary space/moon flight by the maglev launch system
That's a five dollar
Trip to the moon
But let me *???* that a five
dollar trip to the moon
that's less than a train ticket, that's less than a bus ticket to like a neighboring city, like
fIvE dOlLaRs
this plastic garbage gun cost more than that. I mean this was overpriced as hell to be fair, but like this
Cost more than a trip to the moon
Really? I mean, yeah, I know Elon Musk's is out here talking about, you know affordable space travel
But have you got five dollar trips to the moon?
international trips that are on the planet (very money)
Can be thousands of dollars for economy
How have how have you devised a system that that makes?
*claps*
moon travel
Five
Dollars
But like, come 2022, these four people here are gonna be laughing at me from up there.
Okay, there's one comment
Let's see what this is. Okay, it's one from Michael saying "this one feels like a winner"
Damn straight, Michael, damn straight
Damn I'm glad I share a name with you
Something that caught my eye was this one billion barrels per year of heavy oil
Processed into the composite materials for use in 3d printing lunar construction
By lunar construction. I assume we're talking like buildings, you know
Getting people on there surely there are better ways for making buildings on the wall
Like have you seen 3d printers those things?
They're good at a little things. They make little things, they make little toys. They don't do walls. They don't do houses
I swear this dudes just like. Okay need to make it sound smart. Um, okay. So ah
We're going to use oil for construction
don't know how that'd work
But not just construction, okay
3d printing construction
Barf suit clothes for extreme situation
Whatever you are
Whatever you do with the environment and the situation around test you
with barf suit you will make sure not to mess around
*is this a real kickstarter or am i high?*
*have a really nice day who ever is watching this. the subtitle may be inaccurate but you deserve to be complimented*
Set the base in the mouth of a shirt and fix the corner with the clips under the eyes
And you will be ready in case of an emergency
You can use the barf suit everywhere.
I think gucci should hire this guy
I mean, he's quite in line with that branding like it's an obvious observation
it's an obvious thing, but it has like it's the only thing you can say is just
How did you ever think this was a good idea? How did you convince yourself? Hey, I made this it doesn't look good
It's it's not that useful like the bags there. You have to kind of *gag*
Like into it down onto yourself
Rather than just go into a bathroom or something
Like just because it's attached to you doesn't make it easier you realize that, yeah?
Okay, a very a very good indicator for this project is pledge to euros or more and get
A vErY bIg TaNk YoU
Brilliant just just awesome. And the design the brilliant design choice of having eyes
With pupils in them right around here. That's just brilliant. That's such a good idea
Anyway, I think that's enough making fun of stupid people. I'm- I'm feeling pretty smart now (r/iamverysmart)
so mission accomplished. If you want to be a smart boy too, then be sure a smash like yeah, if you do then I'll oh
I'll give you a bouquet of flowers.
Anyway, thank you for watching. Um, the channels been doing very very well recently
Thank you guys for that. It does mean a lot
Um, looks like I'll be cutting my hair for 500k sooner than later (yes please)
It would also mean a lot if you would go follow me on Twitter, um link for that is down below
Instagram, link to that is also down below
Yeah, and if you have any other video ideas
Comment them, leave them at the subreddit, Twitter, Instagram, whatever your thing of choices
And without further ado. I'll see you in the next one
bye *cool outro*
nawt two late mah fren
*very ePiC outro song look the band up*
Folks he must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen very money
*boom roasted*