Hey there.
Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend.
Why are you laughing? (Sona laughing)
I'm sorry. [Conan] Why?
Why are you laughing? I don't know.
Your voice always gets to a point.
I- Because.
Can I say something?
What happens I think,
I know what you're gonna to say,
when I'm just talking in the moment
I'm myself. Yeah.
But whenever you guys say
now it's time to start the podcast,
I get in my head and
I go,
what, how?
What do I do? I want Matt
to do an impression- [Conan] What do I do?
Cause I think he'll,
you know.
Okay, so tell me we're going to start the podcast.
Okay, you're Conan now.
And I'll be,
I'll be Matt Gourley
and just put down my banjo
(Sona laughing)
and my antique felt hat,
and my best Truman doll.
(Sona laughing)
Here we go. Mhm.
[Conan] Put that over there. Okay.
And then Conan you should probably start the podcast now.
Silence, silence!
Quiet.
Murderer. Murderer. (laughing)
Murderer. (laughing)
Murderer. (Conan laughing)
I do say,
why do I say murder all the time?
(laughing) I don't know. Murderer. Murderer.
All right so- [Matt] Okay.
Okay, come on Conan.
And then you take like,
I'd say, 30 seconds
and you just go quiet,
and still like you're meditating.
And then you finally come out of it
and go
eight registers deeper than your normal voice.
(deeper voice) Hello there.
Welcome to
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
Is it that bad?
(Sona laughing) Is it that bad?
I'm not done yet.
Oh.
(deep voice) The podcast where I
(laughing) con people into being my friend
(hysterical laughing) and then you emerge
into yourself.
Cause it takes me.
Yeah.
It takes me a couple of,
it takes.
I know. I know.
No, it's not bad at all. [Sona] It's not bad.
It's not. No. [Sona] It just.
It is very brief. But I'm self conscious about
it now.
It's this moment of time. [Sona] Oh.
[Conan] No, no. I think it's that
30 seconds you take to think about it.
Where you go into broadcaster mode.
When you just gotta be old Conesy O' B-rien
and get out there.
(laughing) Conesy O' B-rien. [Conan] Yeah I don't
ever wanna be Conesy O' B-Rien.
But you're right. (Sona laughing)
I get into my head
and I think, "What is this we're doing now?"
And then I look
and there's this giant microphone in my face.
And suddenly I feel like I'm supposed to be professional.
(Matt groaning) And I go,
(deep voice) "Hey Conan O'Brien"
and immediately I know I'm not being my authentic self.
And then Sona says something.
and enrages me
and I say murderer.
Silence! Silence! [Sona] Yes.
And then suddenly we're back
to this normal voice.
Let's try it if you don't think about it.
One, two, three, go!
(awkward) Hey Conan O'Brien here.
(laughing) No.
Conan O'Brien needs a friend.
We're seeing a lot of traffic downtown on the 405.
(laughing)
If you're gonna merge with the 101,
make sure you stay in the left lane.
We're gonna (laughing)
check in now with Scotty Jo.
Scotty Jo what's going on?
(yelling noise)
(high pitched voice) Ho ho.
Hey Scotty Jo here
I got my puppet Mr. Crinkles,
(deep voice) but we'll check back in with you guys later.
Scotty Jo. Mr. Crinkles.
(radio voice) You're listening to COB in
the chill ch-ch-ch-chill job. (Sona laughing)
You're listening to COB in the chill times.
You know if we go from the podcast
into that kind of radio,
that would be so fantastic.
You know?
It would be kind of retro vintage.
It might just be cool again. Yeah.
Wouldn't it be cool again?
And you don't have to talk about guys that are hot Sona.
Yeah.
Hey Sona. Guys like-
them doing- Yeah.
You doing some guy? Doing some guy
and he's hot.
[Conan] Yeah. [Matt] Tell us all
about it. Yeah.
Yeah, tell us all about it.
Yeah.
We did it. [Conan] You just.
(grunting sounds) [Conan] You're doing
whoa. Okay.
(Sona laughing)
That's the most asexual
sexual conversation I've ever heard in my life.
I met a guy, he's hot.
We're doing it.
And then we did it
and then it was done.
Yeah.
And then it was a done thing
that had been done.
(chuckling)
So one time It's time
for a sex reminiscence on the seventh.
Yeah. (Sona laughing)
Alright. Quick update.
If you're trying to get to the 134,
(Sona laughing)
just be aware.
There's been large melted cheddar cheese spill
(Matt laughing) all over the highway.
(laughing) Oh my god.
They're rushing beans to that site immediately
to mix them in with the cheese.
(laughing)
And my chopper is now descending,
losing altitude quickly.
(helicopter sound)
I forgot to gas it up beforehand.
This is my final broadcast.
Yeah. [Sona] Wait. You're in the.
You're in the helicopter too?
I'm in the guy in the helicopter
doing the traffic report. (laughing)
Yeah.
Yeah. And I'm losing.
You're in studio and in the
helicopter. [Conan] Okay. I've crashed.
I am now mired in cheese.
Cheese on the 134
(laughing)
I have to tell you it's kind of a sharp,
it's a sharp cheddar.
I believe from the taste of it.
Wait a minute.
That's my blood.
(laughing)
Seven minutes after the hour,
time for another sex remembrance from-
Sona. [Sona] Yeah.
Back to you with another sex remembrance.
Oh, and make sure you put
in some helicopter noises behind me Gourley.
(helicopter noises)
Oh. You could just do. [Conan] Yeah.
Sound effects. [Conan] Later on.
You do it in editing.
You don't have to do it now.
I don't think Oh man.
This is all live.
We're going live.
You're right. (Sona laughing)
I'll do it.
(deep voice) Chopper chopper
chopper chopper (Sona laughing)
Oh no. (Matt laughing)
It's time for another edition of sound effects.
The f-f-f-f-fielder.
Chopper chopper chopper chopper.
Oh no. We're going down.
(Yoda voice) Descend?
Crash!
Listen.
That was a terrible opening.
So stupid.
[Conan] I am going to. That's a-
From now on. Yeah.
From now on I'm just going to launch right into it.
Hey, Conan O'Brien and you're going to hear that other guy.
Oh, who's that other guy?
[Conan] I don't know who. That's not you either.
I don't know who any of these guys are.
I don't know.
Just do what you do.
I didn't mean to make you all self-conscious about it.
It's just, it does.
You do like,
it's, it's silent
and all of a sudden you're like,
(serious) "Hi there."
[Conan] Yeah. You know.
It's so funny at home. [Sona] Conan O'Brien.
If I say something my wife doesn't like,
she'll say like, "Wait, what did you say?"
I'll say, "Don't worry about him.
He's just crazy." [Sona] I know.
(Matt laughing) And she'll say,
"Worry about who?"
and I go, you know, "Conan just being that way."
And she'll say, "Wait, you're Conan."
And I'll go.
No.
And it totally gets me out of it every time.
That's pretty good.
Yeah. I'll be like,
yeah, I say.
So I'll be talking to her.
So you be Liza. Yeah.
And I'll just say something like,
"Oh, well could we eat sooner?"
What, can we eat sooner?
You know what? Don't, don't worry about him.
(exasperated sigh) He's just.
You know what he is?
He's narcissist
and it's all about him
and his show and his podcast.
And just, just walk away from him.
Cause you know what, you're better than him.
(chuckling)
And she's like,
who are we talking about? Who? Yeah.
Who are you talking about?
[Conan] Trust me. Who's he?
Conan's just a dick sometimes.
But you know what?
And then I become her confidant.
Who's-
Oh my god. The good guy.
Who's allying with her against Conan.
Okay. [Conan] It's fantastic.
That sounds healthy. [Matt] That's pretty
brilliant. Try it.
It's very healthy.
When my children look at it
and then they leave the room
and they just cry. [Sona] Okay.
That makes sense. [Conan] They just cry.