>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK!
FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT IS HALF OF THE HILARIOUS DUO BEHIND
BROAD CITY AND NOW STARS IN THE MOVIE "ROUGH NIGHT."
>> I JUST GOT SOME COKE FROM THE BUS BOY.
>> WHAT!
>> AMERICA, ALREADY, RIGHT ON THE NOSE.
>> OKAY, GUYS, I CAN'T DO ANY COCAINE.
>> I'M VERY JET LAGGED SO I WILL DO COCAINE.
>> SO EVERYONE'S IN.
>> GREAT.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> JESS, COME ON, JUST DO SOME COCAINE!
SORRY, I DID A LITTLE BIT OF IT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME
ILANA GLAZER.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY!
>> HEY.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: NOW, DOES ABBEY KNOW THAT WE'RE HANGING OUT
TONIGHT?
>> SHE DOES.
>> Stephen: IS SHE OKAY WITH IT?
>> SHE SAYS HI.
WHOEVER OF US DWETS TO SEE YOU, WE'RE VERY HAPPY.
>> Stephen: OKAY WITH SEEING OTHER PEOPLE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE IT WAS THE
TWO OF YOU, AND OUR GOOD FRIEND DORIS KERNS GOODWIN, AND THIS
WAS DURING THE CONVENTION LAST SUMMER BEFORE-- IN THE "BEFORE
TIMES" AS I CALL THEM.
>> YEAH, YUP.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY MEMORIES OF THAT NIGHT?
HOW HAS THE WORLD CHANGED FOR YOU?
>> I WAS TALKING ABOUT IT ON OUR RIDE HERE BECAUSE I COULDN'T
BELIEVE THE LAST TIME THAT WE HAD BEEN HERE, I COULD NOT
BELIEVE IT.
>> Stephen: WAS IT DURING THE REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRATIC
CONVENTION, DO YOU REMEMBER?
>> I THINK IT WAS THE D.N.C.
BUT WE MET DORIS -- >> Stephen: WHO IS WONDERFUL.
>> YES, AND SHE WAS SO LOVELY, AND WE SAID, "DORIS, DO YOU
THINK THERE'S ANY CHANCE THAT HE COULD WIN?"
AND SHE WAS LIKE, NOT A CHANCE.
NOT A COUNTRY THAT, YOU KNOW, IS BUILT ON SLAVERY BUT HAS ELECTED
OBAMA.
OUR COUNTRY IS NOT-- IS NOT GOING TO VOTE FOR THAT GUY."
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I'VE ALWAYS SAID
SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.
>> SHE'S AN IDIOT.
SHE'S AN IDIOT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
APOLOGIES TO DORIS KERNS GOODWIN, OBVIOUSLY, BUT DUMB,
DUMB LADY.
>> SHE HAS, LIKE, STUDIED ALL OF IT, AND KNOWS THE PATTERNS.
AND I THINK SMOOG THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM.
BECAUSE WHEN SHE SAID IT I BELIEVED THAT SHE WAS RIGHT.
>> Stephen: BROAD CITY SEASON FOUR STARTS WHEN?
STARTS AUGUST?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AUGUST OF THIS YEAR?
>> YUP.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU GUYS MADE A
LITTLE POLITICAL COMEDY NEWS IN THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS BECAUSE
YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING SPECIAL THIS SEASON WITH-- WELL, WITH
OUR PRESIDENT.
WHAT IS IT?
>> YES.
WE ARE BLEEPG HIS LAST NAME, "PRESIDENT BLEEP.
OF HE GETS ENOUGH AIR TIME AS IT IS, AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S-- IN THE
WORLD, IT WOULD BE BETTER NOT TO HEAR HIS NAME.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: NOW, IT'S GOING TO MAKE IT SOUND-- YOU COULD
ACTUALLY SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THAT MOMENT.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: AND PEOPLE WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU WERE SAYING.
YOU COULD SAY YOU'RE SAYING TRUMP BUT YOU COULD SAY
ANYTHING.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
AND I USUALLY GO WITH DRUMPF.
THAT'S HIS LAST NAME.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE HAD SO MANY GUEST STARS ON THAT SHOW, IS
THERE A PARTICULAR GUEST STAR YOU HAVE HAD OVER THE YEARS THAT
HAS BEEN MOST EXCITING TO YOU?
>> I MEAN, WHEN WE HAD HILLARY CLINTON, IT WAS --
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER HER?
>> DO YOU REMEMBER?
>> Stephen: NICE LADY, NICE LADY.
>> REALLY NICE.
>> Stephen: SHE WORKS FOR THE NATIONAL PARK SERVICE NOW, I
THINK.
>> REALLY QUALIFIED.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> YEAH, SHE WAS BRILLIANT.
AND THAT WAS INCREDIBLE TO MEET HER.
THAT WAS CRAZY.
SINCE-- SINCE WE'VE BEEN WATCHING ALL THIS, YOU KNOW,
FAKE NEWS!
AND WHATEVER, REAL NEWS AND THE PRESIDENT.
AND ANTICIPATING COMING HERE TONIGHT, I HAD BEEN THINKING,
STEPHEN, THAT YOU ARE REALLY A MODEL WHITE MAN.
>> Stephen: I AM THE PICTURE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO "WHITE
MAN," I THINK.
THEY DON'T GET MUCH WHITER THAN ME.
>> YOU ARE THE GOOD VERSION OF ONE.
OUR PRESIDENT, ALMOST THE NUMBER ONE WHITE GUY IN AMERICA BECAUSE
HE'S THE PRESIDENT.
I'M ALSO LIKE, STEPHEN COLBERT IS.
YOU'VE JUST BEEN REVEALING YOURSELF YURS TO US OVER THE
YEARS.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING "STRANGERS WITH CANDY" LATELY, AND YOU'VE
JUST BEEN REVEALING YOURSELF.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS THE CHARACTER I WAS PLAYING ON THAT
SHOW.
AND HE WAS VERY DISTURBED, BUT THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> THAT'S WHAT I MEAN HE WAS LIKE-- YOU WERE SO YOUNG IN IT
AND PRETTY.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WELL, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
>> YOU WERE SO-- BUT YOU WERE-- YOU WERE LESS --
>> Stephen: I WAS THIN, TOO.
>> YOU'RE THIN!
BUT YOU WERE LESS-- YOU WERE LESS ATTRACTIVE OF A PERSON
BECAUSE YOU-- YOU GUYS WERE BEING GROTESQUE IN IT AND YOU
WERE NOT BEING YOURSELVES.
AND OVER THE YEARS YOU HAVE BECOME A REAL VERSION OF UNITED
AIRLINES OR WHATEVER, AS REAL AS YOU ARE.
AND IT'S REALLY-- IT'S-- I THINK-- I HOPE THAT THE
PRESIDENT WATCHES THIS SHOW AND LEARNS FROM YOU.
>> Stephen: I'M SURE HE DOES.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, YOU ARE DIRECTING NOW.
THAT IS A BIG STEP.
TO GO FROM WRITER, PERFORMER, TO DIRECTOR.
WHY DID YOU WANT TO DO IT?
AND ARE YOU POWER MAD?
>> I AM-- I AM POWER CRAZY.
I HAVE BEEN, LIKE, JUST SLAPPING P.A.S' ASSES.
WE'VE BEEN HIKING UP THE SEXUAL ASSAULT BILLS FOR COMEDY
CENTRAL.
BUT, YEAH, IT WASUE KNOW, IT ACTUALLY WAS MORE EFFICIENT FOR
US TO DIRECT BECAUSE ALL THESE CONVERSATIONS END UP WITH US
ANYWAYS, SO IT ELIMINATED MANY EMAIL CHAINGZ THAT WE WOULD BE
CC'D ON ANYWAY, AND BE ANSWERING ALL THESE QUESTIONS.
IT REALLY CONDENSED THE WORK.
BUT IT SORT OF MADE GRAY HAIR GROW OUT OF MY BODY, ALSO.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: NOW, THE MOVIE "ROUGH NIGHT" THAT YOU'RE IN,
IT'S YOU, SCARLETT JOHANSSON, GILLIAN BELL, KATE McKINNON,
ZOE KRAVITZ.
IT'S A FEMALE CAST, DIRECTED AND WRITTEN BY WOMEN.
IT'S THE FIRST "R" RATED WIDE-RELEASE COMEDY DIRECTED BY
A WOMAN IN 20 YEARS, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO MAKE-- HOW DID YOU BOND SO QUICKLY
TOGETHER?
>> WE DID A LOT OF BITS ON SET.
I HAD ONE THAT WAS PRETTY GROSS.
ZOE IS SO OBSIEGE BEAUTIFUL, NA-- OBSIEGE BEAUTIFUL, WE WERE
LIKE WHO WOULD BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ZOE COULD HAVE
A BABY WITH?
AND IT'S, OBVIOUSLY, JADEN SMITH.
BECAUSE HE'S -- >> Stephen: VERY HANDSOME
YOUNG MAN.
>> A PRETTY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MAN.
AND WE WERE SAYING WOULDN'T IT BE AMAZING IF JADEN AND ZOE HAD
A BABY AND THE BABY TURNED OUT UGLY?
( LAUGHTER ) SO MY CHARACTER IS-- I DIDN'T
NAME HIM-- JINGO SMITH, JINGO SMITH-KRAVITZ, AND HE TALKS LIKE
THIS ( LISPING )
HE MAKES UP FOR A LOT OF HIS LOOKS AND PERSONALITY.
>> Stephen: DID JADEN KNOW YOU DID THIS?
BECAUSE HE MIGHT WANT TO TWEET ABOUT IT.
>> NO, JADEN DOESN'T KNOW WHO I AM.
HELLO JADEN SMITH.
HELLO!
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
MY BEST TO EVERYONE IN THE BROAD CITY FAMILY.
"ROUGH NIGHT" IS IN THEATERS THIS FRIDAY.
ILANA GLAZER, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "VEEP'S" SAM RICHARDSON.