Hey there.
This is Clay.
And today we're going to be talking about the first of the five critical kind of pivots
or moves you need to make in order to really get your ex back without all of the struggling
and all of the work that maybe you put in until now.
Maybe it seemed like you needed to put in until now.
And again this is going to be a series of videos.
Right now I'm thinking it's going to be about five videos but we'll kind of see how this
plays out.
So this will be the first one and this first one is really about re-attracting your ex
and how that's really not what you need to be doing for real results in trying to get
back together with them.
Now I know a lot of people out there probably weren't that makes that I need I definitely
need to retract my ex but I'm here to tell you that that is not the case and the reason
for that is because your ex already.
Thinks that you are attractive.
Otherwise they wouldn't have gotten together with you in the first place right.
And so it's really kind of pointless to try and re-attract them.
Really it's not attraction that's the problem.
Attraction is already there.
It's like trying to make the sun rise in the morning.
You know you can try all you want you can.
You can wake up at A.M. do your like good old magic sunrise dance or something like
that.
And you know lo and behold the sun comes up a couple of hours later right.
So it must have worked.
Right.
But here's the secret.
The sun would have come up whether you did your magic a little Sundance or not.
And it's exactly the same way with trying to re-attract your ex.
You don't need to do it because your ex already thinks you're attractive.
Trying to retract your ex is really just a waste of time and a waste of energy because
just like the sun will already come up in the morning without you having to do anything.
Your ex already thinks that you're attractive without you having to do anything.
Now here is why you may be experiencing a little bit of difficulty with getting back
together with them even though they think you're attractive.
The problem isn't attraction.
The problem is that negative emotions have come in between the two of you.
OK.
So again there's already this natural attraction flowing between the two of you but it's getting
disrupted by negative emotions.
OK.
There are these negative emotions brought on by the history between the two of you.
You know I don't know the specifics of your situation but you know there's probably a
lot of hurt feelings a lot of trust issues a lot of feelings of betrayal maybe feelings
of you know like like you just didn't live up to your end of the things where they live
their end of things or something like that but they're just these negative emotions that
prevent that attraction is already there from running its course.
And so instead of trying to focus on re-attracting your ex which again is a total waste of time.
What I'm recommending that you do if you want to really make this whole getting back together
thing a whole lot easier is not to focus on attracting your ex but instead to focus on
clearing out those negative emotions.
OK.
Now what this means is that you do not have to worry about trying to be the alpha male.
You do not have to worry about trying to be high status.
You don't have to worry about making your ex jealous or you know putting on like sexy
clothes or anything to seduce them or anything like that again.
That is all misplaced energy.
You do not need to focus on that because your ex are as attracted to you.
Well you need to do is need to focus on clearing out the negative emotions between the two
of you OK.
And the best way to do this is to really focus on relational skills that will help your ex
feel able to open up around you feel like they can trust you more feel like they can
really be themselves more around to be honest with you more and when that happens negative
emotions will just sort of break up and disappear.
And the attraction that's already there can run its course and bring the two of you together
kind of makes sense when you think about it right and.
OK so so OK how do you actually do.
How do you learn these relational skills.
Well there are a whole lot of them but it really boils down to three specific ones.
These are the three ones that we really talk about inside of the ex solution program.
Now these are these are like these aren't just like things that you can kind of like
flip through.
OK cool.
I got that.
I'm ready to go now.
You know you can't just kind of learn it in one second and then apply.
It's kind of something you have to really cultivate within yourself.
These are these are skills you know these aren't like what old tactics these are like
all skills that you build up over time.
Just just you know like carpentry is a skill.
Being able to make some beautiful piece of wood work is a skill it's not something you
can just kind of roll out of bed one day turn on your you know table saw and make a masterpiece
of woodwork.
You just can't do that you need to practice it and refine it over time.
And that is why we really recommend you practice the relational skills that we give you in
the active no contact section of the solution program.
That's one reason why we really try to encourage you to focus on cultivating those during that
active no contact phase.
That's why I really want you to do that.
You know we help you by really mastering these skills in sort of low risk situations like
with your friends with your co-workers and stuff like that.
And that would kind of help you ratchet up the sort of stakes in the situation.
So you know goes my friends and co-workers to other people to get to eventually using
it with your ex because you know it's like it's like a new skill if if you if you try
to use it going into a high stakes high stressful situation like like meeting up with your ex
for the first time or something like that it's going to be really taught is going to
be really tough.
It's going be hard to you that's going to be hard to really wield that tool properly.
So we really want you to focus in the beginning on doing it in sort of low stakes situations
with friends co-workers just you know yourself in your own life so that you can really cultivate
these skills and have them down solid when you need them so that you can clear out those
negative emotions so that you can have better interactions with your ex.
So the attraction that you already know that you already feel in your heart is there between
the two of you can run its natural course.
You know suddenly it's like it's like if you imagine all of the negative emotions that
are between you and ex is like this big balloon that's filled up with all these negative emotions
you know it's like.
Using these skills mastering the skill is like letting out all of that air inside of
that balance would just kind of deflates goes away calms down and suddenly it's not as big
imposing a thing anymore as just this flat little.
You know empty thing and you can just easily bypass it.
It's not a big obstacle it's just deflated it's flat and suddenly boom you can just go
on to the next phase.
The retraction happened on its own and before you know it you and your ex were back together
again.
So again if this is something that you want to learn if you'd like to learn more about
these three relational skill sets that you can start to take in your life and start to
apply to help you clear out the negative emotions between you and your ex so that the two of
you can come back together again.
I really want you to consider joining the ex solution program.
But you know whether or not you decide to do this I really want you to make a choice
choose today whether or not you are going to continue to go down the road of trying
to re attract your ex trying to do things that are kind of a waste of time really doing
things that really are not going to really help you get towards where you want to go
it's really just like spinning your wheels in the mud or I want you to decide if you're
going to focus on the things that work like mastering these relational skills and being
able to clear out the negative emotional block between you and your ex.
And if you are interested in clearing out that negative emotion block if you've decided
to do that instead of focusing on things that don't work like trying to re-attract them
I would really like to invite you to sign up for the ex solution program or you can
go ahead and click on the button down below and you can learn more about that and sign
up if you think it's a good fit for you.
But regardless of whatever you choose I really want you to make this decision today.
Okay now tomorrow we're going to go into topic number two.
I'll tell you more about that tomorrow.
But this is just the first of what are probably going to be five videos.
So tune in tomorrow for video number two.
We're going to talk about another key sort of pivot that you can make to get faster better
and more effective results in getting your ex back.
This is Clay and thank you.