Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
'Why! Why!'
Even if you’ve never seen The Attack of the 50ft Woman, chances are you’ll recognise it’s poster.
The single most iconic image in the history of the B movie;
'Can't go there! She'll kill me, she's crazy.'
An image which, if I am honest, it fails to live up to.
Big time.'
'You're the deputy, do something.'
On the face of it, this is the story Nancy Archer
'Mrs Archer, what's the matter?'
Who, following a close encounter of the third base...
catches gigantism and then grows into a 50 ft woman -
'Dr Cushing! Something has happened to Mrs Archer!'
without ever leaving her bedroom.
'Something's happened to Mrs Archer'
Something which is never explained.
'I just don't know.'
But there’s also a morality tale at work here about a jealous woman,
'HARRY!'
who won’t allow her hardworking husband to blow off a little steam.
S'Nancy calm yourself. More morphine. Harry is asleep in his room, he'll be right here.'
'Harry, what would your wife say?'
'Harry!'
'Now, where were we?'
'Here.'
'Yeah.'
'Harry, I need you all to myself.'
Selfish bitch.
'My gigolo, that's what you are.'
Although it’s not all her fault, she is pushing 40.
'When women reach the age of maturity, mother nature sometimes overworks the frustrations to the point of irrationality.'
Yes, really all women should be committed once they hit middle age, it’s a wonder we let them wander free.
'You think I'm drunk don't you.'
'All of you, I'm not drunk, I'm not.'
The message of this film is clear- women, don’t throw a tantrum just cos your husband is having an affair,
'You keep away from that girl, you hear?'
he doesn’t complain when you cook on your own time.
'I'm sorry Harry.'
But this relentless sexism is a small price to pay for what I’m sure will be an epic rampage.
'She's lose!'
Although a brief one, since she only leaves the house 9 minutes before the movie ends.
That’s not a rampage that’s a stroll!
'She's down!'
'She finally got Harry all to herself.'
Jealousy, even if entirely justified can only lead to you turning into a giant and getting killed.
Last episode we looked at the Amazing Colossal Man, which is a deeply flawed film,
But at least we don't have an hour of just looking at the giant's hand.'
'Here comes the giant!'
'A 30 foot giant! On no.'
Still, shame those two never met.
Song - Something Stupid, by Nancy and Frank Sinatra.
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