- My mam always said,
"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"
so please welcome "Strictly" judge Craig Revel Horwood.
(crowd cheering)
(upbeat music)
- Hello Craig.
- Hello, darling.
- Hello, welcome to the show love.
- Thank you, my love.
- Now you've had an interesting life, haven't you?
- I have.
- Can we expect to see the Craig Revel Horwood movie?
- Well, that would be good, wouldn't it?
I'd enjoy that.
I don't know that the viewers would like it though.
(crowd laughing)
- Who would play you in the film of your life,
would it, Kylie, or?
(crowd laughing)
- That's not a bad idea,
she just needs to grow 6 more feet, darling.
(crowd laughing)
- Have you got a lot of feet, have you?
(laughter and applause)
(Sarah laughing)
- Were you always judgemental as a child?
- I guess I was, I used to judge myself in a way.
I used to put on little shows for my family at Christmas.
I used to get dressed up in drag, at 7,
and then we had big, fabulous sliding doors
and I'd open them up and do, like,
the Big Spender number in a feather boa
and a blonde wig.
(crowd laughing)
My father would chase me around the house, however.
- Wasn't his wig was it?
(crowd laughing)
When you say at 7, was that your age
or was that the time of evening you did it?
(crowd laughing)
- No it's my age, darling.
And then at 9... (laughs)
Do you dance at weddings?
- No. I hate dancing at weddings.
- Why?
- Because, I feel like I'm being judged.
I know that sounds odd.
(crowd laughing)
Yeah dancing in public has never been
a good scenario for me.
- It's good you made a career off the back of it though.
(crowd laughing)
- Dancing is quite erotic isn't it?
It can be quite erotic on Strictly.
Are you ever glad that you're behind a desk?
(crowd laughing and cheering)
- Well...
I do like sexy dancing.
It's got to be said, darling.
- Who was the worst dancer you've ever had?
- I think that was Quentin Wilson.
- And what about on the show?
(crowd laughing)
Who was worst between John Sergeant and Ann Widdecombe?
- Ann Widdecombe.
Although she did manage to polish the floor.
(crowd laughing)
- Have you ever held up the wrong number by mistake
and then had to bluff your way through giving that score?
- We have little buzzers that we press
and I have accidentally pressed the number
next to the number I wanted.
And then of course I had to try and,
cause it was a low score,
and I had to then try and find as many
things wrong with it as I could.
- I love the fact that you've said there
that it was quite a low score
like you ever give anything higher than that.
(crowd laughing)
- I remember it was a 4.
But I wanted to give a 7 you see,
so it was a bit of a disaster.
(crowd laughing)
- So instead of just pausing and saying,
"I'm sorry, I've made a mistake let's do it again"
you just carried on saying how shit they were?
(crowd laughing)
- It's live television what can you do, darling?
- Be nicer?
(crowd laughing)
Have you ever regretted being too harsh?
- Only once. When I called Patsy Palmer
a scrubber in a puffer jacket that cries all the time.
(crowd laughing)
I did regret that actually.
She's a very lovely lady.
- Were you getting her mixed up with her character again?
- Yeah.
(crowd laughing)
- Yeah. It's easy to do isn't it?
And finally, you were the face of British Sausage Week.
(crowd laughing)
- Don't go any further with that.
(crowd laughing)
- You can't tell me what to do,
I'm not dancing.
(crowd laughing)
(applause)
- I'm the king of the sizzle.
- Be honest, when you signed up to it
did you think you were signing up to something different?
(crowd laughing)
- No, I knew exactly what I was in for
but I loved the trophies that I used to hand out.
They were complete, big sausages
probably about that big.
All gold, and they looked exactly like dildos.
They were hilarious.
(crowd laughing)
And I had to hand them to every butcher
that won for the best sausage.
(crowd laughing)
- That might be the best job anybody's ever had.
Thanks so much for coming on the show,
ladies and gentlemen: Craig Revel Horwood.
(crowd cheers)
[Sarah Millican] Hello, it's Sarah Millican here,
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