I'm a 31 year old virgin hello I lost my
virginity when I was 23 years old I lost
my virginity when I was 26 I lost my
virginity when I was 26 I've thought
about it constantly probably since the
age of as well in my mind I was like
we're gonna kiss a bunch it was mostly
the kissing part that got me really
excited it's gonna be in some like
bathtub with candles well I grew up on
romance novels I loved but you know you
have a happy ending we're both like
shredded and we look amazing but the way
those scenes are described there's like
never any pain and the guy is always
huge and you're like okay I waited till
I was older because I was committed
Mormon I was raised by a conservative
mother who was also a realist so in the
same breath she would say wait to have
sex wait until you're married but if you
want to have sex let me know I'll put
you on the pill which is very convoluted
for like a fourteen-year-old to
understand
Mormons aren't supposed to have sex
outside of marriage and they're
definitely not supposed to have that
kind of sex I wanted to have which was
sex with other guys and I was 13 years
old a cousin of mine that I really
looked up to on my 13th birthday she
pulled me aside and she said hey Eileen
last night I lost my virginity to my
boyfriend when you are ready you have to
make sure that you love them and that
they love you back I waited till
marriage to have sex and that's just
something that I believed in I want to
give myself to my wife spiritually
emotionally physically my mom had just
died in February like three months
before that and I had never gotten the
like mom daughter conversation that you
have about sex this like took its place
so it became like my Bible I have a lot
of fears about my body and someone
seeing me at my
most vulnerable my coworker
we were both students at the time at
universities I met my wife at church and
we had become really good friends and it
took two years for me to finally like my
eyes to open like this woman is
beautiful like why have I never tried to
date her when you dated a year and then
got married I got really drunk on my
23rd birthday and I went to a bar with
another cousin of mine this guy was
there and him and I had had this like
make out in a car relationship like
every now and then we would get together
and make out and that kind of was it it
finally happened when we went camping we
both lost our virginity at the same time
to each other wedding night of December
31st New Year's Eve the best way that
I've ever brought in in New Year's two
virgins
trying to figure out how to do it and
how to make it work it was sort of what
I expected because I knew it was gonna
not be great I leaned over to him and
was like hey I'm taking you home tonight
the next morning we were staying at the
same house and I came downstairs and he
was having breakfast and I said I just
want you to know that what happened last
night I remember it and I liked it very
much and then he got this big smile on
his face and he said I liked it too and
he eventually became my first boyfriend
it was a really sweet morning after
there was like a lot of high fives in
orange juice it was bad it was real bad
and the next day I was like I was sore
but I felt like okay well day number
three of being 23
I had a really good experience overall
but also I do regret that I don't have
those years where I could have been
active and enjoying sex I'm very happy
that I waited I'm glad I did it but at
the same time my fact that I just kind
of let it go to this douche made
me feel a little like man you should
have given yourself a little bit more
respect and know yourself a little
better than that I don't regret being a
31 year old virgin the dream scenario at
thirty-one would be that I start dating
a guy that I like I think the number one
thing that I can see really clearly
looking back is to trust yourself most
times you know when you are ready and to
trust that feeling you want to wait wait
but if you want to bang when you do have
sex you're gonna realize oh it was I had
this urge build-up for no reason you
know I feel the same after I'm the same
person after it doesn't change my
identity don't let other people put
pressure on you the best thing I could
tell you which I try to tell myself
every day is that you are enough you are
loved and your virginity does not define
you
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