One of the oldest characters in Simpsons History both in the show and outside of the show
is Springfield’s Kenny, Hans Moleman. Moleman has been around since the Tracey Ullman shorts but it
isn’t until Season 4 where his most common joke came about. In most of Moleman’s appearances,
he is either gravely injured or just dies. So that made us ask one very
important question, which of these deaths have been the most gruesome?
I’m Kifinosi with WickedBinge and this is Hans Moleman Deaths: Gruesome to Most Gruesome.
A couple of rules are needed for this list if we’re going to go forward. Firstly,
no off-screen deaths, it either needs to be shown on screen or heavily implied, where Hans is put in
a situation that he can’t escape from. Secondly, Moleman has to be human for these deaths,
so both Demon Moleman and Dinosaur Moleman from The Treehouse of Horrors don’t count.
Finally, we are indeed counting kills that happen in the Treehouse of Horrors and Couch Gags.
With our rules out of the way, we move into our first category of the list, Organ Failure.
The first and least gruesome death in the series for Moleman is in the episode Haw-Haw
Land. This Season 29 episode featuring Ed Sheeran starts with a song about how bad
Springfield is in the middle of a traffic jam. In this traffic jam is none other than Hans Moleman
on his way to his dialysis treatment, well with everyone singing and dancing,
he grows late to this treatment. Well, being unable to get dialysis he seems to
have kidney failure of some kind, leaving him to die in the middle of a traffic jam.
However, slightly more gruesome death of this style is in Million-Dollar Abie. With Springfield
getting a new football team and the commissioner of the Pro Football League coming to town,
Springfield has been repainted and recolored. But prior to that, we learn that Springfield leads the
nation in Heart Attacks (probably Homer’s fault) and we see Moleman have a fatal heart attack,
falling to the ground. We consider heart attacks as more gruesome than
kidney failure due to the fact that heart disease can cause kidney failure at times.
The most gruesome death in this category is in the episode A Test Before Trying.
Moleman is in the hospital for unknown reasons and Dr. Hibbert says he needs to save electricity.
They decide to unplug Moleman and cut off his life support,
he asks if he has a say in this but his son just tells them it’s air escaping and his
heart stops when the life support is unplugged. We consider this more gruesome because his family
is the one causing his heart to stop rather than it being a sudden onset heart attack.
After his organs have failed him,
the next most gruesome way he can die is in this next category The Fallers.
The least gruesome death in this category is in C.E. D’oh. While Homer and Lisa try
to take over the Power Plant from Mr. Burns, Moleman is killed once more. Inside an office
and annoying the people around him he is thrown out of a window. Now, while the window seems to
be ground-level his scream shows he fell for a while and likely to his death. We don’t see
him hit the ground, but it is safe to assume he dies from this or the broken glass in him.
The next death in this category is in Daddicus Finch. At Shauna Chalmers’ bat mitzvah Bart
switches everyone’s keys so no one can leave. However, Kent Brockman laughs because he has
an app that will bring his car to him and the car does come backing up and hitting Moleman.
This causes Moleman to be sent flying off into the distance,
now, he is alive when he is hit by the car so he definitely dies from the fall.
A similar style of death is in the intro to Treehouse of Horrors XXXI.
After a political joke about the 2020 election, the world is literally on fire and giant robots
modeled after ED-209 from Robocop are roaming around. Moleman walks up to one and the robot
kicks him, sending him flying and yelling about regretting his vote. Like the previous,
he dies from the fall and not from the hit. We consider this more gruesome than the previous
because he is kicked by a giant robot instead of being hit by a car.
The most gruesome death in this category is in the episode The D’oh-cial Network. Homer is driving in
his car while on his phone, and meanwhile, Moleman is crossing the street while on the phone. With
both of them distracted, Homer strikes Moleman and sends him flying through the air. We actually do
see him slam against the ground, his glasses get broken and he’s left in a bizarre pose. This is
why it’s considered the most gruesome because we actually see him crash against the ground. ‘
A recognizable category for Simpsons fans is when Moleman dies from suffocation, choking,
or other forms of Asphyxiation, next is Choked Up.
The least gruesome death in this category is in the episode Children of a Lesser Clod. When
Homer injures himself playing Basketball he has to take care of Rod and Todd while Ned is out.
Ned originally wants Marge to do so, but she is at a morgue identifying a body,
and the body is Hans Moleman who is very much alive. The mortician
however doesn’t care and leaves him locked up to suffocate to death. We consider this
the least gruesome because we don’t see what happens, but it’s a safe assumption.
A very similar death is in the episode, Mother Simpson. With Homer supposedly dead,
his supposedly dead mother, Mona Simpson comes to visit his grave. Homer is currently alive and
laying in his grave after falling in. Meanwhile, the gravedigger says he never buries anyone alive,
causing Moleman to peek out and complain, only to be subsequently buried alive. We count this as
more gruesome because it’s easier to confirm that he does indeed die here from being buried alive.
The next death in this section happens in The Debarted. Marge
had grown tired from looking after the kids, and while doing this she
accidentally hits Moleman’s car. This causes him to hit something and his airbag to deploy,
and with how close he was sitting to the wheel the airbag covers most of his body.
It pushes him up against the seat of the car and slowly suffocates him to death.
The section Connie Appleseed from the episode Simpsons Tall Tales is next on our list.
With the settlers killing large groups of buffalo, Connie tells them that it will cause
problems in the future and tries to get them to eat apples. The group leaves her
behind alongside Hans Moleman who is stuck in Quicksand and since no one saves him
he slowly but surely suffocates in the Quicksand. We consider this more gruesome because everyone
leaves him behind even though he is asking for help and the slow death surely happens.
However, the most gruesome death in the section belongs to The Joy of Sect.
When a cult comes to town and scams almost everyone out of their money,
Reverend Lovejoy and Marge try to take it down. While Marge tries to escape,
she is chased by a Rover Baloon that catches Moleman. This Baloon shrinks in and suffocates
him slowly, pushing his face against it in a creepy way. That moment where we see his face
pressed through the plastic is what really makes this the most gruesome death of this section.
Similar to Strangulation, the next category is Drowned Out
where Moleman dies from being submerged in a large body of liquid, usually water
The least gruesome death in this category is from Gorillas on the Mast. When Homer buys a
boat after a lifelong dream, he realizes that owning a boat is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Moleman is subsequently on a surfboard that is broken by Maggie and he slowly sinks into the
ocean, slowly drowning to death. Drowning is definitely not fun, and drowning in the ocean
is definitely up there, but it’s not as gruesome as the other one.
The most gruesome death in this category is from Mypods and Broomsticks. When Bart makes friends
with a Muslim boy at school, Homer grows paranoid that his father is a terrorist. This causes him
to accidentally blow up a bridge that led to the Duff Factory. One of the drivers for this factory
was Hans Moleman, and he fell into the river, Homer dives in and saves the beer,
leaving Moleman to drown to death. This is more gruesome simply because
he could have been saved but was left there to die by Homer.
The category with the most Moleman deaths is this next one Non-Romantic
Crushes where Moleman is crushed by something usually from above, such as being run over.
The least gruesome death actually comes from The Simpsons Movie. While Homer is trying to
dump Plopper’s silo in the Lake after it had been banned by the city, many signs and barriers had
been put up around it. Homer, of course, ignores all these and while going to dump the silo he runs
over and seemingly kills Moleman, completely ignoring him. This is the least gruesome
simply due to the fact that it’s played mostly for laughs rather than being a sad or gruesome moment.
Next on our list is from the section The Fourth Thursday After Tomorrow from the
episode Thanksgiving of Horror. Homer orders an A.I. that is stylized after Marge to cook
Thanksgiving in her place. We briefly get to see Hans Moleman walking down the street
where he is swiftly run over by an automated pizza delivery car. Much like the previous,
this is played mostly for laughs, but at least we get to watch the whole action
from a third-person perspective, making it slightly more gruesome.
The next death on the list is from The Fool Monty. When a fake disease is created, Mr. Burns cuts the
line for the required vaccine by driving through a crowd. In this crowd is none other than Hans
Moleman who is quickly run over by Smithers so that Burns could get all the doses necessary.
This one is not really played for laughs and therefore we consider it a bit more gruesome.
This is the only death from a couch gag, specifically from Exit Through
The Kwik-E-Mart. In a parody of the Game of Thrones intro, Springfield is brought to life
through a multitude of golden gears. One of the people brought to life is Moleman who is
quickly killed by the giant Lard Lad Statue. The Statue of Lard Lad comes to life and rolls his
giant donut along the ground which runs over and crushes Moleman while rolling him away.
We now get away from the running-over deaths as we talk about The Man Who Grew Too Much. While
selling porcelain figurines in the town square, Sideshow Bob drops a cinderblock
from high above that quickly crushes Moleman under its weight. However, because it doesn’t
cover his entire body when it crushes him it’s considered less gruesome than others.
A similar death is from The Squirt and The Whale. After a Whale ends up beached on the
beach of Springfield due to a violent windstorm, Lisa and others want to save the whale. However,
after the Whale dies, the police blow up the whale, and one of the large chunks of the whale
falls from the sky and lands straight on Moleman. The flaming piece of whale crushing Moleman
is definitely more brutal than the previous death on the list, hence where we placed it.
The final death from above is from the episode E Pluribus Wiggum.
When Homer fails to dispose of his garbage in the correct way, battery acid eats into
a gas main and causes a massive explosion that destroys all of Fast Food Boulevard.
This leads to a massive chunk of concrete that falls from the sky and completely crushes Moleman
to death. Unlike the previous two, his entire body is crushed underneath the item instead of some or
most of his body being crushed. Hence why it ranks above the previous two on our list.
The next crushing death on our list is in the episode King Leer. When Moe’s dad finally
contacts him after many years to take over one of his businesses, Moe cautiously accepts.
His siblings soon try to sabotage his beds in many different ways, one of which is an automatic bed
that opens and closes. It is sabotaged by opening and closing much too far and much too quickly.
This causes the bed to repeatedly crush him to death, leaving him as pretty much a pretzel.
However, it’s not as gruesome as his death in Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy.
After an all-female reboot of Itchy & Scratchy comes out Lisa uploads Bart’s reaction to it
to show his hypocrisy. This eventually gets shown on the show Josh.O where we also see Moleman die.
Moleman is on a treadmill going slow when a boat comes out of nowhere and crushes
him against the treadmill, leaving him as nothing but a bloody stain.
But, the most gruesome death of this category comes from the segment Don’t Have A Cow,
Mankind from Treehouse of Horror XX. After Krusty makes burgers using tainted burger meat,
the entire town is turned into zombies named “munchers”. However,
when Apu saves The Simpsons from the munchers he knocks a zombie Moleman to the ground and runs
his head over with his truck. When the head is crushed underneath the tire it sends his brain,
glasses, and dentures flying out of his head, it’s definitely gruesome.
As we wind down from such a large category, we move on to the next category,
Explosive Personality, where Moleman dies from an explosion of some kind.
The least gruesome death in this category is from the episode Look Who’s Coming to
Criticize Dinner. When Homer becomes a food critic he starts to anger most of the food
community into attempting to murder him. They create a massive eclair known as the La Bombe
that was made to kill Homer. Well, when the La Bombe is thrown it doesn’t get Homer but instead
explodes Moleman’s Gruel stand while he was behind it and he is caught in the explosion, killing him.
However, the most gruesome death in this category is from the segment Terror at 5½ Feet
from Treehouse of Horror IV. When a gremlin is on the side of the school bus, Bart alerts Otto,
however, he instead sees Moleman driving a car known as a Gremlin. This causes Otto to
slam into Moleman’s car and send him into a tree, causing an explosion that kills him. This is more
gruesome due to the fact it is a contained area he is in when it explodes instead of an open field.
We now reach the penultimate category in this list,
that being Disco Inferno, where Moleman dies from incineration or the like.
The least gruesome death in this burning category is from Bart of Darkness. With a heat wave going
through the city, Moleman walks out into the heat of the day. He complains about the heat
and says the sun is certainly doing its job, he then extends his glasses. This causes the
sun to use his glasses like magnifying glasses that catch his shirt on fire.
He stands defeated and doesn’t take off his shirt, certainly burning to death.
The most gruesome death in this category is also his first, in the episode Homer’s Triple Bypass.
Moleman is tasked with the job of driving Edgar Allen Poe’s historic home
seemingly across the country. Well, Homer accidentally slams into it
which causes Moleman to go over a cliff while the house and car burn around him. This is more
brutal because he is fully caught in the fire and it’s a much more confirmed death.
We finally reach the most gruesome deaths on the list those of course being The Cruel Deaths.
The least gruesome of them goes to There Will Be Buds.
After many of the kids get seemingly injured while playing Football,
all the concerned mothers go to the hospital to get them treated. In the emergency room,
we see Moleman impaled by a sword. He doesn’t get treatment from the doctors on account of
the aforementioned concerned mothers and likely dies from bleeding out before doctors can see him.
One of Moleman’s saddest deaths is next in The Springfield Connection. After Marge becomes a
police officer and arrests Homer for parking illegally, buying underaged bullies beer,
and resisting arrest, Homer eats Moleman’s last meal. This leads to Moleman being walked to
the execution room where he is executed via electric chair for unknown reasons.
The next death on our list comes from Team Homer. While Mr. Burns is a little out of it,
Homer obtains money for his bowling team, this leads Homer to suggest Moleman try and get money
from him as well. However, Burns instead drills Moleman through the skull with an electric drill,
and kills him, apparently damaging or destroying his brains.
The last assumed death on our list is in ‘Tis The Fifteenth Season. While all the
townsfolk are in the center of town celebrating Christmas, Moleman shoots a flare into the sky
to try and get help. Everyone ignores this because they think it is a star,
however, Moleman does need help as he is trapped on a mountain. A pack of wolves surrounds him and
it is quite obvious they kill and eat him because he is not seen for the rest of the episode.
The next death is sort of similar to the previous and it happens in Double, Double, Boy in Trouble.
After a series of unfortunate events that cause the family to be fed up with Bart’s antics,
Lenny invites them to a posh party. At said party,
Bart reprograms a bunch of Vac-U-Bots that run rampant. They find and attack Moleman,
completely destroying every inch of him, except for his glasses. He is sucked
up into these vacuums and seriously dead, it’s just slightly outclassed by one kill.
Moleman’s most gruesome death in the series happens in the segment The Ned Zone from Treehouse
of Horror XV. When Ned Flanders gets the ability to see the death of someone by touching them,
he touches poor poor Moleman, seeing him eaten alive by alligators. This quickly
comes true when he falls into a manhole and is subsequently torn apart by said alligators.
It’s no question this is the most gruesome death because we see them tear him apart.
We guess it’s true what they say, no one is gay for Moleman except death,
he’s died in plenty of gruesome ways but which is your favorite?
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our ranking. And be sure to
check out our Simpsons Good to Evil. Remember to hit that notification bell and binge our
Most Gruesome playlist. Where we break down the most gruesome moments in your favorite cartoons,
shows and movies. But most importantly, stay wicked.