- Hey everybody, happy Thursday!
And when it's Thursday, it's either
an FAQ or What's In The News?
And today, it's FAQ.
There hasn't been anything, honestly,
that exciting in the news.
If there is something you want me to address, let me know.
Let me know below, and then I'll save it for next week.
But today, I have three questions
and I'm gonna try to get through them.
I know sometimes my videos are real long.
I contemplated making my stuttering video two videos,
like what causes it, and then what do we do or something?
Because I talk a lot, and I'm sorry.
But okay, let's get crack-a-lackin on this then.
So first question, #KatiFAQ, and I do still search
for the hashtag, so you can use that.
"I've been through your eating disorder videos,
"but I'm still struggling to understand
"what eating disorder I have.
"I haven't gotten official diagnosis from my doctor,
"although my CBT therapist, whom I've just started seeing,
"says that I have Binge Eating Disorder.
"I don't purge, and I can't exercise
"because of my health condition, but I do restrict
"and I have reached low weights in the past,
"which are contributing to the health problems I have now.
"I'm so depressed because I'm at my heaviest and I feel
"so fat, even though my BMI is at a healthy level."
Don't even get me started on BMIs.
"To have BED," Binge Eating Disorder,
"do you have to be overweight?"
Good question.
"When I research BED, there's always an emphasis
"on losing weight while recovering.
"That means that I need to lose weight, right?
"I don't understand, please help."
Now we have not talked as a community that much about
Binge Eating Disorder even though (imitates trumpet)
it's now in the DSM, hooray!
So I looked it up and I read about it a little bit more,
just to make sure that I'm giving you
all of the information.
And so I'm reading from the DSM.
And Binge Eating Disorder, the short and fast of it,
is that no, you don't have to be overweight.
There is a lot of emphasis on losing weight because,
now let me read you some of the criteria.
"Binge Eating Disorder means that you have
"recurrent episodes of binge eating."
Duh.
The episode of binge eating is just like
what we talk about in bulimia, where it's
"eating in a discreet period of time,"
they usually say within any two-hour period or so,
"an amount of food that is definitely larger than what most
people would eat in a similar period
of time under similar circumstances."
So if you're rushed to eat, you might finish
your burger like, boom, in 10 minutes.
But if you're just having a conversation with friends,
it might take you a little longer.
So keeping that all in mind, "you have a sense of lack
"of control over what you're eating and how much
"you're eating during that time.
"And your binge eating episodes are associated with eating
"more rapidly than normal, eating until you feel
"uncomfortably full, eating large amounts of food when not
"actually even feeling hungry, eating alone because you're
"embarrassed about how much you eat and how fast you eat it,
"and you feel disgusted with yourself or depressed
and very guilty about the eating afterwards."
You also, "it happens at least
once a week for three months."
And there's a lot of other criteria,
a lot of other things about being mild, moderate.
But, one to three binges per week would be mild,
and it would be my guess that if you fall under
more of the mild portion of Binge Eating Disorder,
that you could be a normal weight.
We've all eaten more than we thought we should at some
one point or another, and some people do it off and on.
And as long as it's not happening every day, all day,
chances are you're not gonna gain
an incredible amount of weight.
And so the short of it, like I said,
is that no, you don't have to be overweight.
But most people who struggle with Binge Eating Disorder
do find themselves gaining weight,
do find themselves becoming overweight.
And that is kind of the health concern on the flip side,
even though it's just as dangerous as being underweight.
Underweight can actually even be more dangerous,
there's a lot of medical debate.
Maybe I should have a doctor to come on and talk about it.
But this is just that other side of it,
and it's the same thing, we're using food to cope.
And so because you don't purge and you can't exercise,
but you are restricting, my guess would be that you have
what I still call EDNOS, but it's Eating or Feeding Disorder
Not Other, I don't even know, it's Not Otherwise Specified.
It's something like that.
I don't like that term, 'cause it's way too long.
But I would say that you probably have EDNOS,
but if you're struggling with Binge Eating Disorder,
you don't have to be overweight.
That's the criteria, and if you want me to do more videos
about Binge Eating Disorder, let me know below.
Okay, question number two.
"Hey Kati, I didn't want to ask this publicly,
"as that would mean outing myself,"
or "as outing myself isn't what I want.
"I'm hoping you can do a video about prostitution.
"Like why do we do it, why is it hard to leave,
"and how is it used as coping stuff, like that?"
Now, I'm gonna be honest.
I don't have a lot of experience working with people who've
been prostitutes, or are involved in situations like that.
However, I do have quite a lot of experience
with mainly females, I guess I would say.
Although we know that there are like mental illness,
and struggles, and the sex trade
does not only affect females.
I recognize that.
I know there are a lot of men out there
who struggle with stuff like this, too.
But I have had a lot of clients
who use sex as a way to cope.
It's almost like because, and this is just in my experience,
and I would encourage all of you, this is actually
the reason I brought this question on to this video
is because I want everybody to comment below if you have
any experience, if you have any thoughts about this.
I'd like to know what other people think about it
and how better we can help each other if someone
is struggling with getting out,
or if someone does use sex as a way to cope.
Because my experience, many of my clients who've had a
sexual abuse past have found that sex is a way that they
equate love or they equate attention or both things.
Or many emotional needs that they have,
they equate with having sex.
And so they'll utilize sex in a way in their life when they,
you know, are feeling detached from people
or they just need a connection.
It doesn't matter if they love them.
Oftentimes, it doesn't have anything to do
with them actually caring about the person.
It's the fact that having sex means that they're getting
attention, that they're getting what they need.
And they're getting their emotional needs
met in some fashion.
And so that coping, and the reason that we're using sex
as a coping skill is what makes it hard to get out of.
The same way it's hard to get rid of our eating disorder,
and hard to get rid of our self-harm.
But it can be done, it's just a process.
We have to slowly put off the urges, we have to slowly
talk back to the voice, we have to get a lot
of support from therapists and doctors.
And if any of you find yourself in situations like that,
please see a doctor, get checked out,
make sure that all of that stuff is okay.
And group therapy can be really cathartic for this, as well,
because there's a lot of shame around being in the
sex trade, or being a prostitute, or using sex
as a means to get some other needs met.
And it's good to know that you're not alone,
that there are a lot of other people struggling, as well.
So I would encourage all of that.
Let's see if I answered all the questions.
Why, oh why we do it.
Some people who find themselves
as becoming prostitutes is almost,
and if you disagree, this is totally fine.
But this is obviously just from what I've read
and what this person and I talked about, people will
become prostitutes because their life at home
is so terrible they see no way out.
It's almost like the same reason a lot of the kids I used to
treat, when I worked in downtown Los Angeles, joined gangs.
It's because they had no family system, there was nothing at
home, half the time their mom or dad was high or drunk or
beating them or something, so they wouldn't want to go home.
And then they fall victim, and people prey on young kids
when they're just wandering around the streets
trying to find something to do.
And when pimps actually look for, this is something
I learned working downtown, that when pimps look for girls,
they usually woo them and date them first.
And so they feel like, "Oh, okay, well I'm part of this
and I love him and now he's just asked me to do this
because of our relationship."
And it really messes with our brain, and it can really
confuse us about what sex means, and how worthy are we,
and what we're worth, and it gets
all of that really convoluted.
But the main reason that we started is because we've
lack a real foundation at home
and we're looking for some form of family.
And it's hard to leave, like I said,
because of the coping skills.
So I hope that helps and if you guys want more videos
on any of these, just let me know in the comments.
That's how I figure out what to do next.
Now, journal topic.
I really like this one, are you ready?
A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid
of the branch breaking because her trust, or his trust,
is not on the branch but in its own wings.
Always believe in yourself.
I really like that, it's not because they trust that the
branch is gonna be okay, but they trust in themselves.
So, they'll take risks and they'll do things that maybe
we think, oh that doesn't look quite so sturdy.
But they trust in themselves.
So what are you doing to trust in yourself?
Today, tomorrow, this week?
Let me know.
I love you all, see you on Monday, bye.