hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about how to be confident even if
you're not attractive now let's begin number one diverse definitions what does an attractive person
look like do they have long or short hair big or small eyes is their face short and round or long
and sharp you might be picturing an attractive person in your mind right now
but every single person watching this video is picturing someone different people are
attracted to all kinds of physical combinations just look at the wide variety of couples in the
world every couple looks different yet plenty of people find their partners incredibly attractive
there are scientific studies that have measured and generalized an attractive ideal
they've created 3d projections that blend together the most attractive traits on average
this projection might represent our society's definition of what physical attraction looks like
but the individual spectrum is much larger in other words people are attracted to all kinds
of specific things and there's no guarantee that one feature will be attractive or unattractive
every time you see it you could see the same facial feature on two different people
on one person it's a knockout and on the other it does nothing for you that's just the way
attraction works they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder you hear this phrase and you
might roll your eyes you might think that's just something people say to make themselves
feel better but it's not individuals have all kinds of diverse preferences you might define
yourself as an unattractive person but a potential partner may disagree in their eyes you're exactly
what they're looking for so you need to use this knowledge to give yourself confidence you need to
remind yourself that no one no one even the best looking celebrities is attractive to everyone in
the world if someone turns you down that doesn't mean you're unattractive it just means that you're
not what they're looking for and there's nothing wrong with that or you so don't worry if you don't
fit society's definition of physical attraction everyone's attractive to someone that's not just
something people say that's the truth so focus on the qualities that you like most about yourself
emphasize the physical traits that are the most attractive to you because those
traits make you unique and when you find the right person irresistible number two personal
growth in your life you'll experience countless transformations as you journey through different
stages and chapters your personal physical and professional selves will change drastically
some years you may lose yourself you may struggle with who you are other years you may be happy and
fulfilled you may find yourself chasing a big dream and loving life all the while each time
your life changes you have an opportunity an opportunity to grow and improve each decision
you make ripples outward each transition you make challenges you to learn something new so each new
chapter in your life is a chance to rediscover who you are here's a problem that many people run
into though they convince themselves that they're unattractive or inadequate and they believe that's
never going to change you may think you're doomed to feel this way for the rest of your life unless
you make changes right this second you put a tremendous amount of pressure on yourself to make
those changes but lasting change doesn't happen that quickly or easily so you get frustrated you
feel insecure and your confidence disappears this problem is based on a myth a myth that you are
supposed to have everything together right now you don't have to have everything together to
be confident you don't have to be outrageously good looking to be attractive because that's
where confidence comes from the most confident people don't have everything together but they
know they have a lot of room to grow the most attractive kind of confidence is growth oriented
if you think you're perfect exactly as you are that's not confidence that's arrogance confident
people are happy with who they are but they're working a little bit each day to grow improve
and to challenge themselves for some people it's a physical process you may be gradually improving
your style or your exercise routine for other people it's a mental process you may be getting
in touch with yourself or pushing yourself to have new experiences you know you're a work in progress
but everyone has a work in progress confident people are happy with themselves flaws and all
and that confidence makes them inspiring and attractive to the people they meet so
find confidence in your missing pieces you may not have everything together yet you may
have a long list of things you want to improve on but so does everyone else own your failures
and grow with confidence because there's a world full of people who want to grow alongside you
number three vulnerable confidence how can you tell if someone is confident most of the time you
overestimate how confident people really are if that person's doing something you wouldn't do then
you assume they're brimming with confidence take dancing for example you may be afraid of stepping
on the dance floor so when you see people dancing you assume they're more confident but that's not
necessarily true you overestimate their confidence but they may be overestimating yours yeah they
may see you in your comfort zone and think wow that person's much more confident than i am and
that makes you seem more attractive so the lesson here is this you can be confident doing anything
anywhere you can be confident dancing you can be confident in the workplace you can be confident
on a first date because confidence is a choice that you have to make am i going to embrace my
strengths and show people who i am or am i going to idealize others and hide behind my insecurities
if you choose to embrace your strengths then you'll live life with a confidence unique to you
and that confidence makes you much more attractive but how do you show that you are confident in
yourself when you start a conversation people ask the same kinds of questions they'll say something
like so what have you been up to you may say something like no not much but this unsatisfying
answer communicates a lack of self-confidence because it requires confidence to value your own
choices and lifestyle it requires confidence to open up about the things you care about
by dodging the question you're hiding the details of your life so demonstrate your confidence by
giving others a glimpse into who you are so when they ask about your day tell them don't pretend
like you didn't do anything don't hide the things you care about instead tell them how you spend
your time and don't be afraid to be passionate because it takes confidence to be vulnerable
about your passions and those passions make you interesting inspiring and much more attractive
number four reciprocal curiosity confident people are great conversationalists they're
fun to talk to they tell great stories and they aren't afraid to show off their sense of humor
but what makes a confident person really stand out is their ability to connect with others when
you're feeling insecure you're trapped in your own thoughts you're overthinking every little thing
and you're paying attention to yourself and not enough attention to the people around you
confident people aren't worried about the little thing they don't care what they look like or what
people think of them they use that extra energy to make meaningful connections when you talk to
a really confident person it may feel like the best conversation that you've ever had
and i'm not talking about an arrogant person who talks about themselves
i'm talking about a confident person someone who wants to know real details about your life they
ask a lot of questions they dig deeper than most and they're honestly curious about you
as an individual by showing interest in your life they're strengthening the bond between you
and that bond makes them much more attractive when someone shows that they really care you
feel recognized accepted and heard so if you're a confident person people enjoy spending time
with you because you take an interest in them and that encourages others to take an interest in you
number five positive assumptions when faced with a new challenge what do you do do you
empower yourself with positive reinforcement or do you tear yourself down with negative self-talk
if you don't think you're an attractive person you may be struggling with self-deprecating thoughts
you start every conversation assuming you'll get rejected you enter every opportunity
assuming you're going to fail but those negative assumptions are crippling your confidence and
making you less attractive negative self-talk is like running a marathon with your shoelaces tied
together no matter how fast you run you'll never run as fast as you can in other words when you
tell yourself that you're inadequate then you're sabotaging your confidence and your attractiveness
people who believe they're confident will be confident people who believe they're attractive
are more attractive now i'm not saying you should walk around with a big head and a huge ego
arrogance and confidence they're not the same thing
but unless you believe in yourself you're never going to be as attractive as you want to be the
simple truth is your physical features are not the reason you're not getting attention from others
your shape and your size aren't the reason people may find you unattractive it's your negative
mindset so until you like and believe in yourself your mindset is just going to hold you back
so it's time to change your thinking if you want to be confident whether you're attractive or not
assume you're going to succeed walk into every situation thinking that you're as capable as
anyone else because no matter what you look like you always stand a chance hey thank you
for watching top thinking be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way