(hoofs on pavement and horse neigh)
- [Lilly] Tonight is gonna be lit!
Wait, do I even wanna go?
Uck, I'm kind of tired.
And will there be parking?
Okay, stop, it's Saturday night, stop being boring!
Wait, it's Tuesday?
What the F?
Okay, what can I wear
that won't require me to shave anything?
See, it's not that I don't have clothes,
I just don't have the right clothes.
Oh, never mind.
There they are.
Wait, did this group of people
already see me in this outfit?
To Instagram!
Nope!
Repeat!
Oh my God, I'm fat.
Look at this fat!
'Hey, hey, yeh yeh yeh, the bakery called,
they won't their rolls back, reh reh reh.'.
Heh whatever.
I love myself.
And.. this shirt has a stain on it.
Huh, okay, this one has a smaller stain.
Wait will this bra work?
Uh why?
Okay, what if I just take this part and tuck it in.
Uh why?
Okay, okay, I have an idea!
Ah hah!
What, I just pin this.. owwwww!
Oh... so close... got it... uhh!
There!
Ahhh.
Manava!
Fine, well fine, fine, strapless bra, F me!
Free the nipple!
♫ Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro? ♫
♫ Can you time them in a knot, can you time them in a bow? ♫
F it, I'm wearing a sports bra.
Basic and proud.
Should I do winged liner or just mascara?
Wait, who's gonna be there?
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
F that, mascara's fine.
Please don't die!
Please don't go blind!
Okay, I'll definitely have time to curl my hair today.
I haven't washed my make-up brushes in like nine months.
Where are all these pimples coming from?!
Do not get deodorant
on shirt!
Do not get deodorant
on shirt!
There, okay.
Dammit!
I'm a zebra, neigh!
Wait is this even my color?
(sigh)
Story... of... my...
entire... life.
Should I take my phone tonight?
Yes.
But what if I lose it?
Wait, am I gonna drink?
Who's going?
Uh-huh, uh-huh, wait, Mammery?
Pish, F that, no phone.
But what if I need to take selfies?
Okay, you know what, I got it, I got it.
'Find my iPhone' -- on.
Bless up!
Oops, I'm late, no time for this!
Again.
Okay, I need to leave.
Wait, do I smell?
Nah, I'm good.
Okay do I have everything?
Okay, wait, am I gonna drive or Uber it?
I should just drive right?
I mean there's no way I'm gonna pre-drink by myself.
Uber X...
Ahh... literally the best part of my day
is writing an unnecessary drinking joke into my scripts,
just so I can drink by myself
and have it be completely acceptable.
If you like this video, give it a big thumbs up,
it's very much so inspired by true events,
this is literally what happens every single time
I get ready, no joke.
This is not even a comedy video,
this is a documentation of my life really.
If you agree, give it a thumbs up,
comment below, letting me know is it just me,
can you relate, did I miss something?
You can watch my last video, it's right over there,
it's called 'Why Bras Are Horrible'.
A lot of bra references recently, huh?
I think I'm gonna start a bonfire.
A bonfire of bras.
You can check out my second vlog
and channel right over there,
and that makes you subscribe!
Cause I make new videos every Monday and Thursday!
If you wanna pre-order my book 'How To Be A Bawse',
you can do that bla bla bla,
I did that take a few times to be honest.
You can click the i right there,
it'll work on your phone as well,
or all the links will be in the description,
as well, for those of you who don't have
the annotations and they're not working and stuff,
I'm here!
I'll see you next time and I love you so much,
and thanks for spending time with me!
One love, Superwoman, that is a wrap!