Me & Hila were set to make a vlog today. We've never been on a bike ride through New
York City and we wanted to explore the city — on bike.
We just stopped in to get a quick bite here at this sandwich place and it's
fucking pouring rain outside.
But the truth is, dude, when you got work to do, you got work to do. Right?
[Ethan] Oh my god.
[Hila] Oh my god!
[Hila laughs] Oh my god!
[Ethan squeals] What?!
[Hila laughs]
[Ethan] This is chaos dude — flooding, people running for their lives
I mean this is just chaos dude.
The kebab man was putting his fucking sodie-pops away.
This is madness, dude.
[instrumental music plays]
Two left dude!
[Hila] How do we do this?
[Ethan] I don't know.
[Ethan] Don't show my credit card, Hila.
We got fucking hackers on my ass all day.
Wait, wrong card. Hila, stop trying to show my credit card.
What's wrong with you!
[Hila jovially] Uh oh.
Stop Hila! What are you? A hacker?! [Hila laughs]
Whose team are you on, man? It's your money too! Shit.
[Ethan] If you guys are wondering about this sick-ass code.
Got 'em.
[Ethan joyfully] Woohoo!
Damn, dude! I haven't been on a bike in so long. I'm pretty excited.
It's a beautiful day too, by the way, if I didn't mention.
Okay, play dope music now.
[demanding tone] Put on the dope music.
[instrumental hip hop plays in background]
Casey vlogs here guys.
Put on dope music here.
Hila, careful!
I'm only riding with one hand. Put on dope music!
Wait... stop!
[Ethan to Hila] Why are you doing that?
Sick rain vlogs, dude.
[Ethan to Hila] Look back, do some dope shit, dude.
[instrumental hip hop music plays again]
[music cuts off]
Stop — what are you, laughing?
What are you... are you a 'pro' biker rider all of a sudden?
[instrumental hip hop music plays continues]
[music cuts off]
[Hila yelps] Woo!
[Ethan] Wuh-oooh-ooh-oh-ooooh!
♪ John Cena — The Time is Now ♪ [heavily distorted]
[Ethan] That was sick!
You got to play that back for me, Hila.
♪ John Cena — The Time is Now ♪ [heavily distorted]
[crowd roaring in background]
That was sooo sick!
[fast punk rock music]
I'm in the wrong profession. I think I need to become a pro-bx, BMXer!
[Hila] BX!
[Ethan] BM'er.
I'm already a pro bowel movement'er. Did you see that skid out though, earlier?
[fast punk rock music]
[Hila] I didn't really notice.
Yeah, right!
I heard you scream like, 'woooooo!'
[Hila screams] Wooo!
[Hila laughing behind camera]
Dude, if I didn't know better
you were — [exasperates] — something happened to you when I did skid out.
[fast punk rock music]
Have you heard of extreme sports?
X Games?
Back in the 90s
[Hila] Like ESPN?
Hila! X Games, not ESPN.
It's a completely different league.
ESPN is for fucking shit like baseball.
X Games, extreme games, the X stands for extreme. It's capitalized and all the
other letters are smaller than the X, just to tell you how extreme it is. OK!
That's what I'm doing here, this is the X course, this is extreme sports.
It's about popping wheelies
it's about skidding out... in the rain dude.
X Games is about riding backwards, dude. You see that?
[Hila laughs]
So don't be talking about ESPN.
Don't embarass yourself.
C'mon Hila, let's ride.
[instrumental music plays]
[music cuts off]
[Ethan shouts] Left!
[Ethan to Hila] You just got passed!
[instrumental music continues]
So, this is one of my favorite spots in New York City in Harlem.
We just rode our bikes up here.
This is a massive cathedral on a hilltop here and I think it's called St. John
the Redeemer's? [Hila interjects] The Divine?
The Divine. St. John the Divine.
It was built by, uh...
Jonathan... Jonathan Jafari in 1852... also... better known as JonTron
[Hila] Jon and his birds
[Ethan] But actually, it's such a beautiful sight.
I love it here, such a beautiful view, overlooking the field and shit.
So why don't we hop up and show... check out the cathedral?
Am I allowed in cathedrals? Have I done... I feel like...
when I walk up to a cathedral, God's like "dawg, are you serious?"
[Hila] Well... you just say "I'm sorry".
Just say 'sorry'?
[Hila] Yeah.
Just before I walk in
Sorry...
[Hila] Yeah.
Sorry, dawg!
[Hila] That works.
"Cool, you can come in my cathedral now."
What am I talking about?
It's John's place anyways. Me and John are cool.
Let's bounce.
[instrumental music plays]
[Ethan panting heavily]
Ooooh, you can feel that FUPA burning, boy!
You can feel that FUPA burning right away, boy!
[Ethan continues panting]
[Ethan] Uh! Yeah!
[Ethan shouting] Right!
See yaaaaaa!
[Ethan panting heavily]
Woooo.
Yeah, boi!
[instrumental music continues]
[Ethan] Hyyyeeeeeeuuuunnnnhhh!
[Hila] What do you think about this?
[Ethan] It's a little demonic, dude.
It's a little dark for...
the cathedral garden. Don't you think, St. John?
I'm going to have to speak to John tonight
about maybe re-doing that.
[Hila] What was he thinking?
[Ethan] John, what the fuck, dude? You really fucked up. This isn't a video game.
This is a cathedral, dawg, you gotta be more serious when you're making this shit.
This place is beautiful, though. [Hila]: Yeah.
Looks like one of these puzzles
you put together as a kid.
It's craaaazy.
See I didn't know we had this kind of shit in New York.
In America.
We...we got cathedrals here.
Everyone talks shit.
Like "Oh, Americans have no culture".
Cathedral, dude! Fucking suck it!
[instrumental music]
[music cuts off]
[Hila laughs]
[Ethan's bike bell rings]
[Hila laughs]
[instrumental music continues]
[music slows down]
[music cuts off]
[Ethan] Take a look at this fucking place, dude.
This is where JonTron lives.
Can believe the ego on this guy?
Can you believe the ego on JonTron?
[Hila] Jon the Divine.
[Ethan] Like, get real, dawg. Do you really think you're entitled to this?
Look at the work on the door!
Jon, can you please be more modest about yourself, dawg?
You're just a YouTuber.
It's not that serious.
Like seriously... chill out.
Alright, so I'm gonna go try to get in and see what's up.
[religious choral music plays]
[Papa John] Welcome to Papa's house.
Come on in, we'll talk about it.
[Kid] Bow's in the house!
[knocking sounds]
[street sounds]
[Hila chuckles to herself]
[knocking sounds]
John, you really let me down today, dude.
So I don't know. We can't get into the cathedral.
because apparently... they're like... I don't know...
I rubbed him the wrong way or something.
Guys, let JonTron know this shit's not cool man.
He's not running this place, though.
[Ethan] Yo, Jon!
Yo, what the fuck, dude! I went over to your house earlier today
and you were like... You didn't let me in, dude.
It was fucked up.
[JonTron] Are you joking? Are you serious?
[Ethan] No man, it's fucked up.
You were trying to break into my house?
[Ethan] I went and it was like, way over the top
I was like... "Jon this doesn't seem right, dawg".
I don't think that was my house.
[Ethan] St. John the Divine?
I think you were trying to break into some small grandma's house, man.
Small grandma!
[Ethan] The cathedral?
St. John the Divine?
[Jon laughs] You went into the...that's your problem!
I only go there on Sundays!
You should've known better... let's be honest.
[outro 8-bit videogame style music]