- Ooh, that beard is in full effect today.
So everybody knows you can get
pretty much whatever you want online.
From clothing, to groceries,
to double-sided dildos.
What?
But recently I came across
some stuff online,
that is just incredibly unique and crazy.
And I'm not talking about like unique stuff
that people make on Etsy like,
"Oh look, I made a pillow. Buy my pillow."
No, I'm talking about stuff
that I didn't even know existed.
So I wanted to go through some
of the craziest and coolest stuff
that I found online with you guys.
Glow in the dark toilet paper.
How many times have you
been dropping a deuce
and the power goes out?
Okay, well probably not that many
but the one time that it does go out
you'll be really glad you had this stuff.
You might not wanna buy too much
of it though because it's five dollars a roll
and that's some really expensive caca.
Expensive poo poo.
The Flying (beep).
This one just made me laugh when I saw it.
You know how some people are like,
"I don't give a flying (beep)."
Well now, for the first time in your life
you can literally give a flying (beep).
Perhaps, as a gift.
Although you wouldn't want to give this
to the kiddies as a gift, it's not really
kiddie-appropriate.
LED Shoelaces.
Holy shit, are these things cool.
Are you kidding me? This is like every kid's
wet dream is to have glowing shoelaces,
and probably even some adults.
I know I got excited. I'm pretty excited right now.
In fact I gotta go change my pants.
No for real though, I don't even care
if these are for kids.
Like, I'm 27 and even I would wear these,
I'd be the cock of the block if I wore these things.
♫ They see me walking, I'm glowing ♫
That hurt my knees, oh my god,
I'm frail.
(squawks)
The Super Mario Question Block Lamp.
I want one of these for my place
so freaking bad, you don't even know.
This lamp is a replica of those blocks
that Mario use to punch and in fact,
that's how you turn this bitch on,
is that you actually punch the bottom of it
and it turn's on.
This is possibly the ultimate conversation starter.
I just want one for my place so that I can feel
like Mario coming home everyday
after a long day of plumbing.
And not only does it look cool but it actually makes
the coin sound every time you punch it like
(ding)
Ah, ♫ memories ♫
Wearable sleeping bags.
This is another really really cool concept.
I can't even tell you how many times
that I've been sleeping out of the house
with a sleeping bag and got no sleep
because the sleeping bag just got all
crunched up and uncomfortable and
wrapped around my jiggly bits.
What?
No, but really though, you know how
sleeping bags are never really
quite comfortable, they kind of get
wrapped around your legs and you
lose sleep because of it
and you end up kind of laying back like
No-can't get-uncomfortable!
Kicking that poor sleeping bag, shame on you.
To me this is just an ingenious invention.
Like, it's kind of what you would get
if a sleeping bag and a Snuggie had a kid.
If lifeless, inanimate fabric could reproduce.
The Magic Wand TV Remote.
Hear that?
That's the sound of Harry Potter fans
fapping all over the world.
Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap.
It's really cool actually, this wand acts
as a remote for your TV that's activated by
a flick of your wrist.
So if you wanna change the channel,
you just go (pshew) and there's
other gestures and stuff like turn it on
and off and there's no buttons
on the whole thing.
It's actually really cool technology.
Custom made Lightsabers.
Oh yes, these exist.
For $500 you can get an exact replica lightsaber
with a 36 inch polycarbonate LED blade that can withstand
full contact full speed dueling.
This is clearly a must for Star Wars fans
although, really who would wanna spend
$500 on a Lightsaber?
- Take my money.
- The Dolphin Power Boat.
"To think like a dolphin you must
get inside the dolphin's head
when communicating and then he's up
on the tail (dolphin sounds)".
That was a little "Ace Ventura" reference
in case you didn't catch it.
This thing is wicked cool.
It's like a cross between a submarine and a jet ski.
It goes 40 miles per hour above water
and 20 miles per hour below water.
This has to be, by far,
one of the coolest things I've ever seen
for travelling across water.
But if I could afford one of these,
I would definitely get the Shark model for,
no other reason than
they would just be funny as hell
to scare the piss out of people.
"Oh, what a lovely day out at the beach
with my family, I think I'll go in the water,
Oh mama no!"
And finally and by far the most
expensive on this list,
is the Diesel-Powered Mech Warrior.
Custom made in Japan, this thing
obeys your voice commands and even
can be controlled manually if you sit in it.
This thing comes with every possible gadget
on it that you could possibly imagine
but I have no idea if this thing is legal to have
domestically 'cause you
can have a freaking gun on it.
But what could you really ever do with this
thing domestically except maybe
have your neighbors respect you more.
Hey Jim, you steal my morning paper again.
- [Jim] Oh yeah? So what you going to do about it?
(Japanese string music)
(machine noises)
- [Jim] Okay, sorry, I give back.
- So those are just but a small sample
of some of the crazy and amazing things
that I saw that you can buy online
and if you want to check out more
just Google 'cool' or
'amazing things that you can buy online' and
if you're really lazy I put some links
in the description to some of the cool
websites that I found if you wanna
check them out. And that's it.
Remember to click Like and Subscribe
and share this video if you liked it
and I will see you guys next Saturday.
- Hey uh, did you order the Lightsaber?
- Dude, I'm trying to end the video.
- Oh, okay.
(sighs)
But you'll order it when you're done, right?
- Yes!
- Okay.
(sighs)
- Ahahaha
The caffeine just kicked in!
(slurping)
Poo poo.
Expensive poo poo.