[STRIDER SPEAKING] Howdy! So, 'SpongeBob's Big Birthday Blowout' has come and gone
and SpongeBob has now achieved what
very few animated kids' shows have ever managed to do.
Last for twenty years!
But there's a question posed at the
end of the special that I would really like to know.
[PATRICK] So, how old are you?
[SPONGEBOB] Well, as of today, I am--
- And it's a question that weirdos like me have been pondering for quite a while now.
Spongy works full time as a frycook yet he has such childlike
demeanour and spends time jellyfishing and attends boating school.
So, how old is he?
So today, we'll analyse the SpongeBob episodes and movies
and actually approximate how old SpongeBob SquarePants actually is!
Prepare to have your question mostly answered!
So the first theory is pretty straight forward.
You see, in the first season episode "Sleepy Time",
SpongeBob dreams that he finally gets his boating license.
On his license, his date of birth is apparently 14-07-1986.
Huh, three years older than me! (03-02-1989)
This is also confirmed in 'No Free Rides,' where Mrs. Puff
gives SpongeBob his boating license again.
[MRS. PUFF] Here's your license!
[SPONGEBOB] My license!
- And his date of birth is once again revealed to be July 14th 1986!
So if we assume that the series starts on the 1st episode's premiere date,
then SpongeBob will be 14 at the start of the series,
and 33 at 'SpongeBob's Big Birthday Blowout.'
Okay okay, two days shy of 33. But still, close enough.
Seems simple, right? Well, this is SpongeBob.
So working out coherence in continuity is never simple!
Firstly, in the 24th episode, 'Employee Of The Month,'
the walls displaying all of SpongeBob's photos for each award he's received totals 43.
This means he's gotten about 3 1/2 years worth of
"Employee of the Month" rewards at this point.
And just to make it even weirder, SpongeBob states later in the
exact same episode that he's only won 26 awards!
[SPONGEBOB] Maybe so, but I did win "Employee of the Month" 26 months in a row!
- But sometimes, I dunno, I botch up numbers in idle conversation too.
So let's just disregard this mistake.
So if we do some quick math with the 3 1/2 years
between the 1st and 24th episode, we can make a rough estimate
that each episode takes about 2 months in-between each other.
So let's call this theory the "100 Year Theory."
If we do some quick math from the 3 1/2 between
the 1st and 24th episode, we can make a rough estimate
that each episode takes about 2 months in-between each other.
So, if we assume the 1st episode takes place on May 1st,
and assume he has won every single "Employee of the Month"
award from day one, which seems likely, his only competition is Squidward,
then he would have been at least 17 1/2 in 'Employee Of The Month.'
And by 2020 he would be...
between 92 and 103 years old.
Huh. Sprightly old geezer, ain't he?
This may seem outrageous, and it is, but sea sponges can
actually live for hundreds to thousands of years!
So it's... somewhat plausible. More on that later.
However, this is where we get to... yet another wrench in the works of our calculations.
You see, in the first SpongeBob movie, Spongy states that
he has won 374 consecutive "Employee of the Month" awards.
Meaning that he's won every award every month for an entire 31 years!
This forces us to toss out the '100 Year Theory,' because
he would have been only working at the Krusty Krab for a maximum of 20 years,
as the movie premiered right after the third season finale.
Unless there was an 11 year timeskip,
we can throw out the possibility that the episodes are set months apart.
So let's do a quick check from the movie's info.
If, according to the first movie, SpongeBob has
won the award 374 consecutive times,
Spongy's been working at the Krusty Krab for over 30 years!
If we assume in the first episode 'Help Wanted,' he was
the minimum legal age to start working in the fast food industry,
let's say 15 to 21 years old depending on country,
by 2020 our friend Spongy would be in his late 40s to early 50s.
Hey, cool! So far, I like the movie's theory best.
I personally see Spongy in his early 40s to 50s.
So to recap, we have two theories that make sense so far.
The first one is the license theory, which would set Spongy at about 34 today.
But if we go by the award theory, he's in his late 40s to early 50s.
But there's another interesting theory after you
consider that the staff changed hands after the first film.
When the late Mr. Stephen Hillenburg stepped down from being the showrunner,
many fans noticed an interesting change in SpongeBob's attitude.
Many felt he became increasingly more
childlike from the fourth season onwards.
Personally, I would choke this up to a writing change?
One theory for this that some believe is that these episodes
come before the first three seasons.
Thus, the first three seasons are in the future?
[SQUIDWARD] Future!
- However, this theory doesn't make any sense when you consider that
Season 8 episodes 'Bubble Buddy Returns,' and how the
chraracters like Sandy and Squilliam are frequent despite
being introduced during the first three seasons.
So I don't like that theory, let's toss it out.
I felt a better theory was that the SpongeBob movie
actually takes place in the future.
And this is the show's logical conclusion, which does make a bit more sense.
Both because of how many awards Spongy's won by that point,
as well as the fact that he becomes the manager of
the Krusty Krab 2 at the end of the film,
which he isn't in any other episode after.
So let's hold on to that idea. The SpongeBob movie's set in the future.
I mentioned before that sponges can actually live an incredibly long time.
Typically, sea sponges can live up to thousands of years!
Some people think that this means that SpongeBob is
meant to live for thousands of years, and the
other show's characters are meant to live for hundreds of years.
However, surprise surprise, we have yet another wrench in the theory!
You see, in the Season 5 episode 'Pest of the West,'
SpongeBob learns of his distant relative, SpongeBuck SquarePants,
who moved to where Bikini Bottom is during the Old West era.
This was from 1860 to 1890.
If sea life in the show aged over hundreds of years, well,
old SpongeBuck would still be alive and kicking, probably
telling this story to Spongy himself.
But it's implied he passed away over the several decades since his time.
[SPONGEBOB] I've got a lot to live up to.
Maybe one day, people will know the name "SpongeBob SquarePants!"
- All of these theories have been building up to this
last, hard hitting piece of evidence.
In the Season 7 special, 'The Great Patty Caper,'
at the very end of the episode, it's revealed that
the events of the story were actually being recounted by SpongeBob himself.
And he's explaining this story to his grandson 75 years afterwards.
Ah, ha! We got it!
Where he's grown grey hair on both his head
and face, implying he's older.
This scene alone discredits the "thousands of years lifespan" theory.
In fact, let's toss this theory out as well once and for all.
So, let's take a quick recap and look at our most coherent evidence.
The SpongeBob movie is a logical conclusion for the series
as Spongy matures from being a kid to a professional in the food industry.
In the film, he states he's worked at the Krusty Krab for at least 31 years.
Seeing as how Bikini Bottom is painted as a typical modern city on land,
we can estimate that SpongeBob is anywhere between
14 to 21 in the first episode, 'Help Wanted,'
which would make him between 45 to 51 in the first movie.
Well, let's be generous to the writers.
Maybe each episode and film can take place during different times of the series.
It would explain how SpongeBob's able to win
43 "Employee of the Month" awards by the 24th episode,
and how he becomes manager in the first movie.
Yet, never is again for some reason.
I mean, there is some kind of a time frame in motion.
What with SpongeBob meeting Sandy in the third episode and
how he reunites with Bubble Buddy later on.
And as I mentioned earlier, Spongy's own license in 'Sleepy Time'
listed his birth year as 1986, meaning he would be 34 in 2020.
So, using the most coherent theory I could find, as of 2020,
SpongeBob is 34 years of age!
And by the first movie, which we're assuming is set in the future,
he's about 51 years old.
And personally, I'm calling his breakdown and search to be manly
his own personal mid-life crisis.
Honestly, the more I think about this theory, the more it makes sense,
unlike every other SpongeBob theory in existence.
And honestly, it makes sense as well because that's exactly what I picture SpongeBob as.
A nice cheery guy a few years older than me who's
just really in touch with his inner child,
and generally doesn't care what others think,
whether he is manly by conventional standards or not.
It's my own personal bias but I don't see SpongeBob as just a
very young man or teenager.
I see him as a full grown man who is self-actualised enough
to know who he is, and just looks for the best in everything he can.
Because that makes the story of SpongeBob
so much more powerful to me.
Maybe his kindness and tolerance doesn't come from innocence,
but a long life of experience and wisdom.
[SPONGEBOB] Today, thanks to these amazing friends,
my heart feels twice as big as it ever did!
- Now obviously, the writers don't really give two hoots
about continuity and age.
Throughout the series, there's contradictions everywhere!
I don't think mortality and age is something that
Bikini Bottom citizens think about much.
But age is something that can tell us so much about a person's character.
There really isn't much character shown to me when I just hear
Spongy's some kid still becoming a man.
But when you tell me SpongeBob is a 34 year old frycook
with a strong sense of gratitude and an understanding of his inner child,
well, I'm really fascinated to know more about that character!
Anyway, if you feel I've missed something,
or have your own theory on how old Spongy could be,
feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below.
And as always, thanks for watching!
And I'll see you next time!
[Closed Captions by XenonHatcher]