Unknown: number one complaint that I hear from my single
friends who are dating, and from my married friends who are
married is that guys talk about themselves so much, and they
don't ask good questions, which is a damn shame because asking a
good question is an art form that has completely gone out of
style. And I'm not saying that women are any better at asking
good questions than men are. But honestly, we're not talking
about them. We're talking about you. And in this video, I am
going to teach you how to ask a magnificent question which if
you are thinking Kailyn, please explain to me how I'm going to
go from asking a great question to getting my dick wet. Stay
tuned, I will explain everything that you need to know most of us
when we're in conversation with someone else. We're too busy
thinking about what we're going to say next, or for you probably
what you're going to comment at the bottom of this video, very
few of us are listening so intently to the person who's
talking that we are able to ask a deep, insightful, sincere
question as a follow up. And let me tell you, asking a deep,
insightful and sincere question gets panties moist. And this is
something women would never tell you, honestly, because it's
something that we are not able to articulate. We just feel like
put off miffed sad that we didn't get to share, you know,
you probably feel that way too. And you probably also know or at
least can guess that it is not as simple as just asking
questions. Because if you ask the wrong question, or worse,
you ask a question that you were not ready to hear the answer to?
Well, you've got another thing coming. And that other thing is
dry panties. And that's why we need to talk about asking the
right questions, because asking the right questions is the
difference between playing Seven Minutes in Heaven and leaving
the day dry and sexless. Or you know, whatever the adult quote
was 17 minutes in the bedroom, whatever, you know, you're an
adult, so don't need to make out in a closet, but I'm gonna be
honest with you. sounds appealing. The reason that this
works is that number one, people love to talk about themselves.
And number two questions bring about closeness and intimacy
questions show that you're curious that you care that
you're interested, that you're listening when your partner is
speaking. And this is as true in a long term relationship as it
is with a new partner, especially if you have been
together for a while you've probably forgotten to ask deep
questions, you've probably think that you already know the answer
to all of the questions and I'm telling you, leaving space for
surprise for spontaneity for your partner to show up new I
mean, they're not the same person that you got with
567 1015 20 years ago. Honestly, I'm not even the same woman that
my husband woke up with this morning. Okay, don't make the
mistake of thinking that question asking for the mastery
of great questions is for people who are in new relationships
only. You know, one of the things that most male coaches
get wrong, is they will tell you what to say. They think that
seduction is about saying the right thing at the right time
and being charismatic or charming or dazzling her with
your words or your clever pickup lines or whatever it is. And
that's honestly, in nonsense seduction is about knowing what
to ask because if you're going to seduce someone and you don't
know anything about them have preguntas de Deus that in order
to seduce someone you need to know what they like, what they
don't like, what they're into what they're repulsed by. And if
you don't ask questions hanging in a pickup on any of that,
you're too busy talking about yourself, you will not be able
to plan to get her into bed because all you'll know at the
end of the conversation is more maybe best case scenario about
yourself. Okay, I think I've made my point. So in this video,
I'm going to share with you how to come up with excellent
questions on the spot, how to use them for seducing your
partner. And I'm going to give you my tips for using questions
in conversations because obviously you can't just like go
in there and question question question question question you
get an organ into the overall flow of the communication
between you and at the end of that I'm going to share with you
my secret source of questions that specifically leads to hot,
steamy, sexy encounters. Without further ado, here's how to ask
questions in order to get late or develop deeper intimacy,
whatever flavor you're feeling that evening. Number one subject
matter. Ideally, nothing is off limits. And the more specific
you can make a question, the better. What do you do for a
living? The subject matter is like your career. It's not very
interesting, right? Does it show a deep level of interest in
something that you could ask literally anyone but when you
have a subject matter that the person you're conversing with
has a lot of interest in and you don't, you can ask some really
interesting questions on that subject in particular, maybe
this person works at the aquarium and you want to ask
them a bunch of questions
about octopus, I two pi to pi. Octopuses, octopus says
octopuses
show interest in some checks that they show interest on. So
maybe this person works at a zoo, but they absolutely hate
it. Maybe don't go down that line of questioning and instead
ask them, What thrills them how they would like to spend their
time what they would do. If any career path was open to them,
what would they enjoy spending their days? Doing? Now you want
to ask the person who you're on a date with questions about
things that they have interest, and maybe even experience with
avoid subjects that they don't know much about, because you're
gonna make them look foolish, or you might just bore them
otherwise, not a good luck. Number two depths. Remember that
some topics are inherently a little bit deeper than others
like death, family challenges, childhood traumas, assaults,
accidents, physical pain, previous relationships, you may
want to avoid those, especially on your first couple dates. But
most topics are neither inherently shallow or deep. I
mean, take our aquarium example. I can ask you shallow questions.
How many visitors does the aquarium get? What kind of a
tour Do you have? Do you have bottlenose dolphins? Or you
could ask a little bit of a deeper question like, which
animal is your favorite? What's their name? Why do you love them
so much? What's their diet? Like? You can dive deep and any
level? So ideally, you will vary your questions to include both
light and deep questions. So like, what do you do? What are
you passionate about is like a pretty light question. But then
when someone tells you like playing the oboe, you can ask a
lot of deep questions on that subject before bringing you back
up to lightness. And starting over again, on a different
subject. Number three, directness, some questions are
best spoken direct. Lee was your favorite place to vacation, but
a lot of subjects are best approached indirectly. So
instead of asking her why she got divorced, maybe say, Hey, I
saw that you had kids from your previous marriage on your
profile? Like what's your relationship like with their
dad? It's a way better question. It's an indirect way of getting
to the information that you actually need to know, in order
to determine if you want to continue to pursue a
relationship with the person in front of you. And by the way,
the same is true for someone that you've been married to for
a while. Sometimes you should ask a direct question like,
where do you want to go for dinner? Other times an indirect
question is better, like, what kind of a date would get you
really excited? Finally, tone, playful, joking, bashful,
sincere, challenging, switch it up? Too many questions in one
tone of voice will put your partner on the defense or maybe
best case scenario, make them bored. You don't want to
actually make someone feel like they're having to explain
themselves. You want to ask some questions from a sort of like
charming and light hearted perspective, and some that show
that you can be deep and serious at the same time. So now that
we've discussed the elements of a great question, let's talk
about how to succeed at asking questions inside of a
conversation. Number one, every so often, make sure that you're
sharing about yourself, you do not want this to feel like an
interrogation, you want to break up the rhythm and allow them to
focus on you for a while. This will bring their attention off
of themselves and put it out onto you. And it will keep the
flow of conversation going ask them a question or two. Answer
one yourself, but then immediately go back to asking
them more this will help them know that you're interested.
Number two, don't agree with everything they say. This is
true for you husbands as well as the boyfriends out there do not
agree with everything that she says. challenge her poke a
little fun at her. A good ratio is maybe 80% agreement, and 20%
challenge and push back. No one really wants someone to say yes
to us all the time, even if at first it feels that way. So make
sure that you're teasing her and playing with her a little bit
like oh my god, I can't believe that. That's your favorite
rapper like have you never even listened to Kanye? Just be
playful. Number three, keep eye contact nod and vocalize This is
how someone knows that you're listening to them. If I asked
you a question, and then I just like
stare off into space while you're answering. And then I ask
you another question. I feel like I really wasn't listening,
right? And maybe I didn't even have any interest in your
answer. So when I keep present with you, and as you're
answering I'm nodding. And I'm like, Ah huh. Yeah. It lets you
know that the person you're talking to is paying attention
to you. Now you don't have to be perfect. We all lose focus, our
mind wanders. That's okay. Take a breath. Bring your focus right
back to the conversation. You can even say something like I'm
sorry, I something that you said just brought back a funny
memory. Could you repeat that super simple, helps you to stay
invested helps them to know what's going on in here. Next,
study them closely. This is what seduction is all about. Look for
what lights this person up ask them questions about that
subject. When you see someone really like their eyes sparkle
and lean forward and they take a deep breath because they're just
so excited to share with you that they know everything about
American Idol season one Ask them questions that allow them
to share that passion. That curiosity that enjoyment with
that is American. I don't know when the Kelly Clarkson one.
Yeah, that's American? See? That's a great question. That's
actually not a great question. Asking questions is hard. And
even with these instructions, you might still mess it up. And
that is why I created something very special. If you want
questions that are specifically designed for intimacy, check out
spark. This is a deck of 140 questions plus 10 Video prompts
that I created myself, just to help you have enhanced
conversations, deeper intimacy, more attraction, and better
communications. Whether you've known each other for day or
you've been married for 20 years, which come in this
beautiful box, you will have not just an opportunity to ask each
other great questions. But at the bottom of each one is a
Caitlin's comment section where I share from my perspective is a
sex and relationship coach that has worked with literally 1000s
of customers, how to apply this question how to have a great
conversation with it, and how to discover new and uncharted
territory together, but from a place of relational safety and
vulnerability, because that's what asking questions is all
about with this arktech You will get an opportunity to learn more
about each other in a way that actually creates deeper
connection, more meaningful attraction between the two of
you. I've had a couple of clients test these out. I've had
couples that were together for 20 years, use this to revitalize
their marriage at a spark back into their bedroom and have the
greatest intimacy that they have ever had. I've also had plenty
of people take them on very first dates. And I will tell
you, in the words of my roommate, it works. So check
this out. This is my shortcut for asking questions. 140
questions was 10 Video prompts so that you don't have to think
about the next question. You can just pull it out of the box and
explore together. I'm Caitlin V. You can buy the spark deck at
10 night.co. Thank you so much for tuning in and subscribing to
my YouTube channel. I will see you here next week.