- Don't drink the water.
- Let's talk about that.
(alarm rings) (playful theme music)
(fire blasts)
- Good Mythical Morning.
- In today's episode,
Rhett has another one of his conspiracies.
- You mean another one of his truths.
- Sure I do.
And it's sponsored by Amazon Prime Video's
new TV series Homecoming.
Homecoming is a mind-bending psychological thriller
directed by Sam Esmail, creator of Mr. Robot
with Julia Roberts in her first starring
television role, y'all.
- I'm just saying, I'm pointing out that the only reason
we think we're in Florida is because
that's what they told us, right?
I mean that's the only reason we have to believe that.
- If we're not in Florida, where are we?
- I don't know.
That's my whole point, see why would they hide that from us?
- Or they're not hiding it, you're wrong,
and we are in Florida.
- Oh because I'm usually wrong?
When I feel like the situation could
potentially be (bleep) up?
- No, you're not.
- Because I've never lied to us before?
- Rhett and I got a sneak peek at the first few episodes.
We can't wait to see how it ends because each episode
is presented in a collage of memories from past
and present and they're only 30 minutes in length
which makes it extremely binge-worthy
with lots of mysterious twists
and turns that unravel throughout.
It premieres on Prime Video tomorrow,
that's November 2nd.
So check it out.
- Yeah and in Homecoming, all answers lead to more questions
which is just the case with a category five truth storm
I'm about to hit you with.
It's time for another edition of Hard Truth.
Sponsored by Homecoming.
Good morning, sheeple.
Don't get startled if you're drinking a cup of water.
(mug thumps) In fact, drop it right now
and ideally splash it in the face of
the closest sleepwalking cookie cutter conformist near you
to literally and figuratively wake them up!
Oh hey. - I was already awake.
- Okay, stick with me, Link.
- We're off to a great start.
- Link, what do you know about fluoride in the water?
- It's in the water to prevent tooth decay.
It's a good thing, Rhett.
- That's what they want you to believe.
- End of story. - Today I'm gonna tell you
all about how the government puts fluoride in the water
to mass control the entire population
and to keep us chained to our deceptive overlords,
and that is only the beginning.
- Of course.
- Come with me, come with me.
- Okay. - Turn your head.
- I'm here, man. - Come with me.
Just turn a little bit back.
Let the people see your face.
Right there is perfect, 45 degrees.
Come with me (chuckles) on a little trip
back to 1901.
A young dentist named Charles McKay travels to
Colorado Springs and discover that the residents
had disgusting brown stains on their teeth
and this became known as the Colorado brown stain,
which is also what happened to me after I tried
the elk nachos at the Denver airport.
Upon closer inspection, Dr. McKay discovered
that while they had stained teeth,
they had no tooth decay whatsoever.
But they did have a lot of fluoride in the water.
It turns out, as you know, fluoride prevents tooth decay.
But they want you to know that.
- I knew that.
- I'm here to tell ya, if it's brown, flush it down, people!
Fast forward to 1944, the Michigan Department of Health
votes to approve adding fluoride to the water
despite no conclusive tests.
Okay, you know how the people of Michigan
like to use their hand to tell you where they're from.
You've seen this, right?
They use the right hand, not the left hand, the right hand.
Yep, see that?
Now point somewhere on Michigan to tell me where
you might be from in Michigan if you were there.
Just point somewhere on there.
Just point, no, no, touch it, you touch it.
You have to touch it.
Got ya!
Michigan gotcha.
That's how Michigan gets ya.
You see how quick that was, cat-like reflexes.
- That was your point, Michigan gets you?
- Yeah, Michigan got us.
- That's crucial, you build on that.
- After 11 years of adding fluoride to the water,
it was found that 40,000 school children seemed to have
less tooth rot and next thing you know,
they start adding fluoride to the water supply
across the entire country to poison us.
Now, why would the government poison us, you ask?
- Why would the government poison us?
- I'm glad you're paying attention.
The government poisons us with fluoride because
they cannot control a population of potentially
psychically gifted X-Men, or excuse me, X-People,
which we would be if not for fluoride, Link.
- Okay, so.
What about not having tooth decay makes you psychic?
- Keep listening. - Makes you not psychic.
- I'm gonna break it down.
Why don't you enjoy some pine nuts while you're listening
and being woken up.
- Okay good.
Finally something I can get into.
- Fluoride has been added to 70%
of the American drinking water.
The largest incidents of mass involuntary medication.
Fluoride is toxic and 50 to 60% of fluoride stays
and builds up in the body, mostly in the pineal gland.
What's a pineal gland, you might ask?
- What's a pineal gland? - Great question, Link!
Government scientists will tell you that
the pineal gland is for sleep and reproduction
but we know that the pineal gland is known by many
as our third eye.
It's where we store our psychic abilities.
Link, can I use you as a demonstration?
- I would love it, Rhett.
- Link, what am I thinking about right now?
- Something horrible, like, I don't know.
Mind control.
- Nope, I'm thinking about Burt Reynolds in heaven
playing checkers with a baby zebra.
And you would have known that if your brain
was not compromised with fluoride.
See how conclusive this already is?
- You drank all the same water I did growing up.
- Now the pineal gland lives deep in the brain--
- Apparently more of it. - And is shaped,
the pineal gland is shaped like a pine nut,
which you have been eating and chewing on
just like the fluoride chews on your brain.
Link, this is your brain.
(hammer thumping)
That's your brain on fluoride.
(crew laughs)
But that's not all, the government doesn't do this alone.
They have help.
Link.
Do you brush your teeth?
- [Link] Yes.
(crew laughs)
- (chuckles) The government is helped--
- I'm not usually this involved in your conspiracies, man.
Do you really need me for this?
- The government is helped by their longtime henchmen.
Link, you ever heard of a dentist?
- Yes, I've heard of a dentist.
You're asking me questions that--
- Did you know what dentist means?
- Don't ever.
- Doctors evil need to
incapacitate sadistically, too true!
- All dentists are evil and they wanna incapacitate people
because they're sadistic.
- Let me show you a little video from Australia.
- Eddy, I and other dental professional groups
will not speak to anybody from the anti-fluoridation side
but I've been asked to not refer to myself
as a past president of the Dental Association
of South Australia.
In fact, I'm no longer a member of the Dental Association
over this issue.
- Now relatedly, I've also been asked not to
refer to myself as a past president of the
Dental Association of South Australia,
but I'm not a dentist nor am I Australian,
but here's the deal.
Dentists who don't go with the fluoride party line,
they get blacklisted, Link.
Because dentists are in on the conspiracy.
But if you need any more proof
that dentists are evil, just look at the freaking tools.
- Don't use that on me.
Don't do it.
- Let me-- - I don't want you
to do this part.
- Open.
Open.
Open, open.
You see how resistant he is?
- I'm opening, whatever.
- That's because even though your pineal gland
is severely compromised, it's still in tact enough
to know that dentists are evil.
- Come on, don't.
I don't care. - You know what,
I'm done with that. - I wanna support you.
- I'm done with that!
- No, I wanna support you!
There's probably some pine nut back there.
- I don't wanna hurt you.
Okay listen, dentists, you would think that they're doctors
but they're not, they're more like tooth janitors,
and if you really wanna get your teeth cleaned,
why you gonna stick things like this in
when you could use a tooth mop?
Now Link, this is when I really need you to open your mouth.
(crew laughing) (mysterious music)
Get it in there, Neal!
This is a demonstration.
The people need to know.
Open up wide, I'm cleaning your teeth
the way that you've always needed.
(crew laughing)
How's that?
It's kinda dusty.
Okay now, I know that most of you--
- What was your, what did that prove?
- Just stay with me.
I know that most of you are already convinced,
but some of you are thinking, I don't even drink tap water.
Ha ha, if you only knew.
Well you're about to, the water, the dentists,
what if I told you that's all old news?
What if I told you that the modern highest source
of fluoride in today's culture is kombucha!
Yep!
Kombucha, Link.
You heard of it?
- The highest source of fluoride?
- The modern poison pond of corrupt government mind control,
to be specific.
Now, kombucha is produced using an organism
known as the scoby, and haters will tell you
this stands for symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast
which grows but the truth is right here, Link.
You know what scoby means, Link?
- Soon, Cathy.
- Scary chemicals oversaturating bodies, yikes!
(crew laughs)
(sighs) Gosh, it's so exhausting getting the truth out.
Now Americans have moved-- - Oh you're telling me.
- Americans have moved away from tap water because of taste
and government had to create a contingency
so they invented the modern health movement
and the favorite beverage of health nuts, kombucha.
Hello!
How else could something this gross be accepted
by the public?
(crew laughs)
Look at that.
While I shake that in front of your face,
listen to some facts.
Kombucha has tons of fluoride.
Hello!
And they tell you, public accepts it because
they tell you that it's good for you.
But no, it's keeping the public as sheep.
Your health drink is poison!
Hello!
Listen to this, kombucha is suspicious
for a number of reasons.
You have to drink it in small doses to get used to it
like poison, hello!
You have to show ID to buy it because the government
is tracking you, hello!
Kombucha can also easily explode in its bottle
if you're not careful.
Did someone say government-fueled domestic terrorism?
Hello!
Wake up, Link!
Kombucha has been compromised.
There you have it.
The government has conspired with their
sadistic dentist army to force feed us brown stain poison.
Calcifying our ability to reach metaphysical
and psychic heights, and not even quote-unquote
health drinks are safe because nothing and no one is safe
in this accelerated dystopian republic built on
fear and compliance.
That's it.
That's all I got.
- Very convincing, Rhett.
You did good.
All right you wanna go take a nap now?
- Sure.
- Okay.
Thanks to Homecoming for partnering with us.
It premieres tomorrow, November 2nd on Prime Video,
so (snaps fingers) check it out.
- Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi I'm Jazzy.
- And I'm Zane.
- And we're in the jacuzzi and it's time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality!
- Woo!
- Fun in the jacuzzi. - Okay.
- Click the top Link to watch us do a weird
toothpaste flavor taste test in Good Mythical More.
- In a jacuzzi!
- Woo!
- (chuckles) And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality
is gonna land.
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