- Hello!
- Hi!
- I'm Jessica.
- And I'm Claudia.
- And we are the lesbian stereotype
who moved in together on the third date
and got engaged after, like, four months
and got married quite quickly
and spend every moment of every day together.
Much like most people are doing in the lockdown right now.
- Good thing we liked it; good thing we like it.
- Good thing we enjoy each other.
Saw a tweet the other day that was like,
"All relationships are now either long distance or 24/7."
So now we are all lesbians.
But we thought in this period of
enforced isolation together...
It's actually amazing and I love it!
- I know; I was like,
"We probably only have, like, six weeks more together."
(laughs)
- Yeah, we got sad the other day
thinking about life returning to normal
and Claudia having to go to work.
(pretends to cry)
- I was like, "Oh."
Like, where was it?
Norway.
No, Denmark. - Yeah, Denmark.
- Denmark is, like, lessened its lockdown already
and I was like, "Oh, maybe that will happen here,"
and I was like, "Oh, I'm not sure how I feel about that."
(both laugh)
- Oh no, we'll have to spend eight hours a day apart again.
We thought we'd check just to make sure
that we actually do know each other
as well as we think we do.
- Yeah, I mean, how long have we been together?
- Five and a half years.
Quite a while.
- We should know each other pretty well
and we spend all of our time together pretty much.
- Yeah, I'm not sure there's anything
we don't talk about, as well,
which is, like, amusing because I'm deaf
and Claudia can't speak particularly well.
- But I'm not bored of you.
- Huh?
- I'm not bored of you.
- I'm not bored of you either.
- Oh, good.
(kisses)
- There are many things that you know about me
that I do not know about myself
because I have no self-awareness.
(laughs)
I think if there are any questions in this quiz
that come up and you have the wrong answer.
- And I'd be like, "No."
- It's actually you have the right answer
and I input the wrong answer the first time.
- I'll just explain to you why you're wrong
and you'll be like, "Oh yeah."
- So I've done the questions first
and now we're gonna see whether Claudia gets them right.
- All right.
How well do you know Jessica?
- Oh, enter your name.
- Oh, please enter my name?
Beyonce!
That's the example, apparently.
- Why does it give example Amy and then Beyonce?
- Question one:
Is the idea of one true love
something Jessica can believe in?
Yes.
- Well...
- Question two:
Would Jessica rather be without the internet
or without a means of transportation?
Without means of transportation.
(laughs)
Where are you going, anyway, in this lockdown?
Which extreme travel destination would Jessica prefer?
I mean, that's like an oxymoron.
- This was a tricky one.
- That whole sentence is just wrong.
The Sahara Desert, the north pole,
the south pole, Amazon jungle.
Christ.
(laughs)
The Amazon jungle?
I'm gonna go with that.
I don't know.
You said the north pole!
- I did say the north pole.
- Yeah, that makes sense 'cause you could see, like,
the aurali borealis and the aurora borealis.
- There we go; that's the one!
Yeah, so that was only...
- Was that the only reason?
- The only thing I had.
- It's like when you get your marks back for an exam
and you're like, "Like, I knew that."
- Why did I take that B when I knew it was A?
- Question four:
Jessica would rather have a partner
who eats all the snacks without sharing
or who watches all the best Netflix shows alone?
Snacks without sharing.
- Obviously.
I'm a bit annoyed that you've watched
Grey's Anatomy already.
- Oh, but I watched that before I knew you!
(both laugh)
- Still, we can't discover it together.
- I think you're almost up to where I got to.
- Yes, we can watch through season eight together!
I'm really into Grey's Anatomy right now, okay?
- Question five:
If Jessica could sleep with a celebrity, who would it be?
Angelina Jolie...
- Half of these are male, by the way,
so you could just knock them out right now.
- Beyonce, Tom Hardy, Channing Tatum,
George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hmm.
(crickets chirp)
I'm, like, hovering over Rachel Adams
but I don't think she's your type.
That's more my type.
- Who do you think is my type on this list?
- I don't even know who Miranda Kerr is.
(laughs)
- You're okay.
Look, it's a list of eight people...
- Angelina Jolie.
- Four of them are male, so they're off the list.
- No, I know you don't fancy Angelina Jolie either
but she's more, like, kind of Lara Croft-y than,
you know, Rachel Adams, who's a bit more, like, mum-sy.
I'm gonna go for Angelina Jolie.
- Yeah, Claudia's type is mum-sy.
- Oh no, you hit Rachel Adams!
- I did, I did!
Because I would have wanted to go for Angelina Jolie,
but she would scare me.
- I know she would scare you, yeah, but like...
Question six:
Would Jessica rather be too busy or too bored?
- Easy.
- Too busy.
Where would Jessica rather live?
France, Italy, Japan, Brazil, Australia, Sweden.
- This was tough, actually, this one.
- Sweden.
- Ah!
- That's not tough!
- Damn, you know me.
- I mean, you've got Swedish heritage,
you like the climate there, they do four-day working week,
and they've got a good welfare system.
- If we could move to Sweden
and have our babies there right now, I would be down.
- Question eight:
Which would Jessica prefer?
Apple, Android.
Apple.
(both laugh)
Question nine:
Would Jessica rather be able to fly or be invisible?
Or, there's another random option there saying,
"Rather stay perfectly normal."
- Well, that one's out.
- Yeah.
I think you'd rather fly.
- Yes, you're right!
Because all I really want is the ability to move
and go places...
- Ten.
- Do things.
- If Jessica had a time machine,
she would travel to the past and meet ancestors
or travel to the future and meet grandchildren.
I think she'd rather meet her ancestors.
Oh, your face.
(laughs)
- Sorry, gave it away.
- Okay, okay, future grandchildren.
- We talk about this all the time!
- I know, but you like history.
- That we both want spoilers.
I love history but I want spoilers to my life.
- Question 11:
Which is more important to Jessica: love or money?
Hmm.
This is a hard one.
(imitates a buzzer)
No.
(laughs)
Question 12: Which movie genre would Jessica prefer?
Romance, horror, adventure, comedy,
drama/documentary, animation.
- She's gonna show--
By the way, animation is not--
Anyway, you can have all of those things be animated.
Animation itself is not a category.
This is gonna show how well you actually really know me.
Tricky, I know, tricky, tricky.
- I'm gonna go for adventure.
Yeah!
- You know me!
(both laugh)
- It's 'cause you love things like Fast and Furious.
- Any kind of big drama thriller.
- Jumanji, Jumanji 2.
Right.
What would make Jessica most happy?
More sleep, less work, more time with friends and family,
breath of fresh air traveling somewhere away from home,
more wealth.
More time with friends and family
is what you would probably know you should put
but I think really, if you were being honest with yourself,
say more wealth.
Yes!
- And you know why?
Because money means you can have all of those other things.
You know in that like rich house, poor house TV show?
Which is basically where they get a rich family--
- And they're like does money buy you happiness?
- Switch lives for a week.
Yeah, and it's like, "Is it better to be wealthy
"or to have nothing but all your close family?"
And it's like, I'm so sorry.
No, the poor family, like,
their parents are working 20 hours a day
and they don't see their kids and everyone's unhappy.
- Anyway.
- Anyway, sorry.
- Question 14:
- Just the kind of thing they say to keep the masses down.
You know, makes me angry.
- To Jessica, love is dead--
(laughs)
complex, everything, confusing, worthwhile.
Everything.
Question 15: Would Jessica prefer Coke or Pepsi?
Did you, like, make this quiz?
You didn't put in your own questions?
- I did not make this quiz.
- That's crazy!
I think Coke?
(laughs)
The 180 cans downstairs might have something to do with it.
Yay, calculating result!
Your score is 13!
Oh my God.
13 out of 15!
- High five.
Still high five.
- Mine was like...
The first one was like only seven questions--
wait, it's this one--
and then the next one, like, had 10 so I did two.
- Okay.
(laughs)
- Why did mine not work?
- I'm sorry your quiz did not work.
- All right, do the other one.
- But you did another quiz, so we're good.
Okay.
- What's your name?
- My name is Jessica, start!
Would I kill someone?
- You're answering questions for Claudia.
- No, I got that.
- Would Claudia kill someone?
- Your quiz is a bit different to my quiz!
It's not like you'd get into an angry rage and kill someone.
What kind of question?
No.
If I had a time machine, I would...
travel to the past and meet ancestors,
travel to the future and meet grandchildren.
Like, bloody go and meet our grandchildren.
Would I rather live without internet or cellphone?
You are answering question for Claudia.
Well, you regularly put your phone down
and walk away from it and forget about it for hours on end
but you research intensely and need the internet to do that
for your many hours.
So you need internet.
- Yes.
- You would live without your cell phone.
- Definitely.
- Oh.
- Oh, my quiz sucks!
- The internet does not want me to know you!
- Try again.
- How would I like to call my partner?
Ooh!
Okay, the options are babe,
by name--
I find it really weird when you say my name.
(both laugh)
Because you so rarely say my name.
- I do say your name!
I say Jessie!
- Five percent of the time when you're addressing me
do you say my name.
So not that.
Pumpkin.
- That's what you call me.
- You're my pumpkin.
- Sometimes you call me princess.
I'm like, "I don't know a princess."
- That is a mistake; princess is Tilly.
We know that Tilly is the princess, I'm sorry.
- And today I told Jessica, like, when she wants someone,
please don't start it with, "Can you be such a sweetheart?"
I was like, can you just tell me to go get something
if you want something?
- She doesn't even want me to say please.
She's just like, "Order me."
- I want you to say please and thank you;
I just don't want you to go, "Could you be a sweetheart?"
'cause it just sounds really, like, I don't know,
patronizing.
- I think it's just how my family address each other.
Can you be a darling and get that for me?
- I don't know, it sounds a bit, like, manipulative.
It's like if I didn't go get it for you,
am I therefore not a darling now?
- Well, we can discuss my childhood later.
(both laugh)
Hon or I don't have a partner.
(laughs)
Not that one!
- What would you call your partner?
I don't have partner.
- This is really difficult because you call me Baba,
which unfortunately is none of these.
- Or Bobby.
- Indeed, she calls me Baba or Bobby.
(sighs)
I mean, babe is the closest but babe is awful.
- I don't call you babe.
- You don't call me babe.
- Babe!
- But you don't call me pumpkin or hon.
Am I gonna have to put my name?
You just put by name!
- I did.
(laughs)
- Five percent of the time.
- More than five percent.
You obviously just don't hear it the 95% other times.
- Well, I'm deaf, so...
- For some reason you hear Bobby more than Jessica
or Jessie.
- I think it's a terrible name for a deaf person.
- It's like Jessie is quite high, isn't it?
Whereas Bobby.
Bobby, Bobby!
(both laugh)
- Especially, like, Jess.
I cannot hear Jess at all.
- I don't say Jess.
- I know you don't because no one should call me Jess ever.
I really hate it.
But like, Jess is like yes; it's just lost in the sea of...
How do I show love?
Oh, what's your love language?
Through words.
We do say I love you about 100 times a day.
- Yeah, well that's not really original way
of showing you how I show my love.
I love you.
- Through touch?
You are very touchy feely, lots of touching.
Through gifts.
- I buy you stuff.
- That's not really how you show love.
- I cook, I do all the cooking.
Is that not a gift?
No, it's an expectation.
(both laugh)
That's married life.
- Through things I do, that would be cooking.
Or I don't know.
(both laugh)
- I did hover over I don't know
quite a while.
- I think the way that you actually show love
is through touch because you're very--
not in a bad way-- clingy.
(both laugh)
- How can clingy not be in a bad way?
It's just such a bad word.
- Because I don't mind!
- I'm a limpet.
- Yes, you are, but I think it's cute!
- A nice accessory.
(both laugh)
- Just gets attached and I think it's adorable.
But I think you wouldn't have put that down
because you don't like that about yourself.
I think you would put through things I do.
- Okay.
- Am I wrong?
- You're wrong!
- Ah, what did you put?
- Touch.
- Oh!
- I do!
- Well done.
- I come home, like, cuddle you.
- I know you do, exactly.
I just thought you wouldn't write it.
- I hold you or, like, smack your bum or like..
- Yeah.
This is generally how close we are
at all times around our house.
- We're like, "half an hour's gone past."
We're like...
where are you? - Where's my touch?
Bobby!
Would I rather be able to speak any language in the world
or be able to read minds?
Speak any language in the world.
- Yes, well done.
- Including English.
- What is my eye color?
(both laugh)
- Chocolate brown.
- Imagine if you didn't know that one.
Oh God, I don't know!
- What is my favorite color?
Red, blue, black, or pink?
None of these.
Your actual favorite color is green.
- No it's not.
- Yeah, it is.
I know that you're gonna put blue
and that blue is the right answer
and you mainly wear blue,
but does blue make you happy when you see it?
Or does green make you happy when you see it?
- I thought the point of your favorite color
is my favorite color is blue.
I do like green, too; yeah, that's true.
- Green is the happy color of your soul
but you'll have put blue.
Apple or Android?
Oh, Apple, but only through necessity
'cause that's what you have.
To me, love is dead, complex, everything,
confusing, worthwhile.
- Worthwhile!
Love is worthwhile.
- Love is everything.
- Yes.
(kiss)
- We're glad we shared that.
- [Both] You're 90%!
- So I think we got the same: 13 out of 15 is 90%, isn't it?
- I know, yeah.
- It's roughly.
- It's fine.
We love each other!
- See, there's some things we're not absolutely
100% sure of, so, you know, that's why.
- Which is wonderful!
- Gonna be fine for another six weeks of lockdown.
- Exactly.
I intend to spend the next 60 years of my life with you,
so glad there are still things to learn.
- Also, our opinions might change.
- Oh, yeah!
- As you say, my new favorite color
is now green, apparently.
- It's always been green. - I did never know.
- For Christ's sake.
(both laugh)
Thank you so much for joining us for this mush fest.
You can follow us on Instagram
for more of this mushy lesbian stuff.
- Cheesy stuff.
(both laugh)
Sometimes I write it and I post it and then I'm like,
"Oh my God."
- And our friends make fun of us.
But we can't help it, okay?
All right, that's @jessieandclaud.
And thank you so much.
If you've enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe
and leave us a comment with the next questions
that you think we should answer about each other.
Thanks for watching; bye!
- Bye!
(cheerful music)