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because usually I'm the one who comes to
you with the problems and you know like
when one of your schemes goes wrong your
shoes okay big guy
relax what's the problem okay I'm
listening you're supposed to if you want
my help you're going to need to tell me
unlike some people I'm not on missions
you can't forgive well that's easy
everybody forgives no but your dad you
can do anything if regular everyday
people can forgive others then surely
God Almighty would be able to also I
mean are you actually saying that
there's something that the average Joe
can do the God can't believe it let me
try something so that you could try to
forgive me okay on a count of three
forgive me God one two three mmm holy
[ __ ] it's true Oh
you should all your plans okay no good
shake hands
[Applause]
God could you please take a moment to
explain to me what this has to do with
forgiveness
it's simple my son will be punished for
everybody that way it won't matter that
I can't forgive people he pays the wages
of sin is death that's why my son has to
be killed for everybody why does anybody
have to die you can't just say I forgive
you okay so after your son dies everyone
is forgiving right that will be fine for
the people who will know your son
personally but what about the billions
of other people you have to believe
innothing
that's all okay so just beam the
knowledge into everybody's head problems
off powerful being in the universe the
best you could do is ancient book
okay so who's gonna write this book you
just said that you wouldn't be me
knowledge into people's heads so in
order to forgive them for whatever it is
you think they did to you they'll have
to believe that you impregnated a virgin
who then gave birth to a magic carpenter
who sacrifices himself by dying for
three days before his body rises up to
heaven okay before this son of yours
dies will he actually know that he's
going to come back to life well then
it's not really a sacrifice is it
[Laughter]
shut the [ __ ] up already
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[Applause]
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regarding a mafioso
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