Hey Guys! So the other day I was watching one of Emma's videos where she found her old Facebook.
And this inspired me to go on a journey to find my old Facebook, which I failed at.
About three years ago I decided that all of my old social media profiles were a horrific cringe festival and I went on a deleting spree.
Dammit me! This could've been such good content for Youtube.
Gonna monetize my old embarrassment. Right?
But all was not lost. Buried deep inside an old - buried deep -
- inside an old Youtube channel I used to have was a collection of my old tagged photos from my first Facebook account.
And today before you Guys find that video I just thought I just show you.
Because as long as I own the embarrassment then it's slightly less horrific.
Gather 'round the fire children or gather 'round the laptop, it's time for a cringy journey down memory lane.
*laughs* ooh god
This is the picture that made me swear never to get blonde hair again and now look!
This is called the arab scarf look, which I'm not actually sure if that's racist or not? - I'm not actually sure if that's racist or not?
To be fair blonde hair started to look good now.
That little glorious hat that I'm wearing. That is a hat given to me by my then girlfriend called Becky.
Wow. Becky if you didn't go into the hat making business I'm - I'm disappointed I have to say.
*laughs* aarghh
I've just discovered hair straighteners at this point and I've straightened my hair and it kinda looks like a spaniels ear.
springer spaniel *laughs* Yes it's a picture of me. That.
That. It's the same thing. Oh.
This is a play called MacBeth, which I'm sure you've heard of.
And this little sexy morsel right here is me.
Backstage however I was obviously the lad.
Absolute lad bands look at this lad - look at this lad. Yeah did you ... aahh god oh I was such a lad.
I really was not a lad.
This was me attempting to be cool but ehm no.
Bin Sex. Oh okay. For some reason I wrote bin sex on a train ticket.
And I was like this is a coupon for bin sex. And I gave it to like people. I'm giving out these bin sex coupons like anyone wants a bin sex?
I'll have sex in a bin. I'm absolute trash. I don't care
And in the end there was only one of these bin sex coupons left but somebody has it.
So one day I'm gonna just be walking around town and somebody's gonna present it to me and I'm gonna have to find the nearest trash can, climb in it and provide
It's It's a legally binding contract this bin sex coupon.
eeehhh To be fair this guy, this is Jake. He was an actual lad, he was cool.
And then there's me and my friend Brogan. We were we were not cool.
Next up *laughs* this mess of a human being.
So this is when I went to a park. I went to the local park and I saw this thing you were meant to play Basketball in.
And I was with a girl and she was like I bet you can't get in there.
You bet I can't get in there? Yeah well girl I'm gonna show you!
I got in there and then I got stuck. And that scream. You see that scream there?
Inside the thing there's like this wobbily thing, that makes the baskettball bounce back out through the holes.
I slipped and I fell back in and that big wobbily thing went up my butt and that's a genuine scream of pain. I'm just like aahh I'm literally being ripped by this basketball hoop.
Ehm oh my oh my oh my god!
Guys I think I invented dabbing when I was 15.
Everyone thinks dabbing originated from like the rap scene. Dabbing when I was 15 yearss old.
I am the OG. I'm the dabbing OG Guys. Bow to me.
And then I gave up with dabbing and just continued with the jumping. I regret this jump. I thought this was a great idea but no.
Riding a whale. Still riding the whale.
Having a whale of a time. *laughs*
I thought this was gonna be the coolest thing ever. I was like Guys: What if I put the glasses on upside down?
And then you take a picture of me upside down.
So maybe if we rotate - nope that way. Looks kinda cool. Ooh Is he upside down? Is the world upside down? Is he hanging upside down?
I don't know. Then you rotate it. And Oh. This dickhead looks like a weird bug.
I don't know if you guys remember this but when Facebook was .. out. This was like the best technology in the world.
Basically you tag your friends as like one of them. So like I'd be tagged obviously as like the Asian one.
Clearly. So this was like a really serious thing between friends. If you didn't get tagged as the best friend or the one I'll always love.
Or Gorgeous Pretty girl, which is the one I was alway aimed for, that friendship was pretty much over.
I have no time for no fake ass bitches.
I think I'd be tagged as the Youtube Star. That's probably to be fair that's probably what I was actually tagged in this.
Not suitable for younger readers. I like to think that I've lived up to that name. Thank You.
This is not the worst thank god. But this is just a thing if you're struggeling with acne or you grow up with acne and you really wish it was gone -
It will go. Look. I don't even wash my face anymore. I only shower like once a week and I'm fine.
So it will go. Things get better. Life gets okay.
I do shower more than once a week by the way, that was a joke.
Ooh my sister.
Isn't she pretty. What are we looking at though?
Checking out the booty. The booty over here? Oh no we're checking out the springer spaniel!
Aww look at the springer spaniel, look at how cute he is.
I love how you can clearly see me being like I am surrounded by pretty women, Luke- Don't f*ck this up.
Way to not screw it up Luke
*claps* Luke was not good with girls
He's still not but he wasn't then either
This is how you get the ladies right? You just walk towards them and just grab them when they're not looking?
No. Not okay. Not okay. Stop it Lukey, Stop.
"But I want the ladies" Stop. No.
I like how I've always said I was massively bullied at school and I did have no luck with people
But these pictures do not reflect that.
I was on holiday and when you're on holiday you just make friends with whoever is there-
I- *laughs* "Finally the ladies see me for what I am- The sex god that I am"
And then this happened. This is me, pretending to be Luke Skywalker on my school trip
So when I went to Wales and this was a school trip you can this girl, Amy, is just judging me
Either judging me or like "Man, that Luke Skywalker is frigging hot. Yeah he'd get it "
"Look how sexy I am guys"
"Look at my leather jacket- What a bad vegan I am"
Describe me in one word
Dickhead
"Oh my god paparazzi please"
"I'm just trying to live my life. I'm just trying to go to the shops guys"
No photographs. No photographs
*gasps* Oh my gosh! Look at the baby!
I went skiing once. And I was skiing down the artificial ski slope and there was a bit of it broken
And my ski went into the artificial ski slope ski-*mumbles*
And I flipped over like 3 times and landed
on my neck. I was nearly paralyzed. Genuinely.
And yet, I could still walk. Miraculously. Jesus is real.
Man -Man Lukey, you were so cool. How do you do it?
TEACH US LUKEY. TEACH US YOUR COOL
So cool that you have a pen as a mustache
Oh! And now a set square. Incredible. You just loved math so much that you grow your own set square
Out of your top lip, it ruptured out and now you can measure angles and triangles everywhere!
*le gasp* oh my god.
Guys...
I am the O.G of standing against a wall wearing black clothes and taking a picture in a mirror.
I see what you doin'. I see you takin' my brand.
And now we get into: Dramatic Depressed Luke
Being depressed is no small matter, and I actually had a difficult few years growing up.
But, now that they're gone, we can look back and giggle at how dramatic I was.
This is a picture of how I felt inside for several years. (same)
This is a picture where I thought I was literally the hottest thing in the world.
So hot that I actually made this picture into a background that you could download
Download now and have it on your computer and phone, and tablet device! *finger snap bc luke is cute*
Don't... Don't do that.
When will my reflection show who I am inside.
*luke mouth sounds into a song*
Going back to the corner, where I first saw you.
I'm going to camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
And yet, more jumping.
Basically, I took it, and I was like, I gave my camera to Katie, my sister, and was like 'Katie, take a picture of me
uh, but like get my feet out of it and it'll look like I'm walking on the ocean'
Inspirational, Luke. You're an artist
It's understandable how he became a film director after THIS art.
This is the time I set a bin on fire because I pu- *laugh*
I put a barbecue in the bin and then the entire bin set on fire and I ran away.
This is what my old videos used to look like
They were in black and white because I was scared of people seeing my acne and my gingerness.
and my titles were things like *gibberish bc face-slam on keyboard titles*
It's understandable how he became a film director after THIS art!
There's a reason why I'm not the biggest Youtuber in the world and that might be it.
Baby Slugs! I told you I had a fascination and love of baby slugs!
Here you can see where I became the sporting hero I am today
Ooh, look at me go *attractive luke noises*
Oh baby. Look at the baby. This is my baby cousin.
I think it's Joel, I'm not sure, I lose track - I have so many baby cousins.
And, uh - oh.
*laugh* He does not want to be with me. 'aaah, i don't want him. get him away from me
oh no. oh. Oh I forgot this picture existed
Most people go to parties and they like, get drunk.
I. I stick tampons up my nose
I-I'm just a little bit uncomfortable actually, I'm gonna take it out for a second.
and then I'm gonna put it back in. Yea. Much better.
Having a conversation with a tampon in my no- mmm. Interesting that you think that about Trump because I don't think that he'll ever run for President.
What an emotional rollercoaster that was
So that was my old Facebook. I hope you enjoyed the video, if you did please give it a big thumbs up, subscribe to my channel and watch my last video - over here
*more mouth noises to form a song* Go watch it, go watch it now or you're a massive loser
*laugh* Bye!!