>> Stephen: YOU'RE ONE BIG ACTION GUY, ONE SOME OF THE
BIGGEST ACTION GUYS IN THE WORLD.
A LOT OF ACTION GUYS LIKE TOM CRUISE SAY, THEY DID ALL THEIR
OWN STUNTS.
DO-- DID YOU EVER, LIKE, BACK IN THE DAY, DID YOU DO YOUR OWN
STUNLTS.
>> OF COURSE.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> YOU HAVE TO.
>> Stephen: LIKE BARE FOOT ACROSS THE GLASS IN DIEHARD AND
THAT KIND OF STUFF.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO THAT, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF
THAT, NO OFFENSE.
>> FOR THE AUDIENCE, FOR, YOU KNOW--
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: FOR THE AUDIENCE.
I KNOW, OKAY, BUT YOU DON'T DO IT ANY MORE, I ASSUME.
>> OH NO, I STILL DO T I STILL DO IT.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU 60 YEARS OLD.
>> 60 YEARS OLD THRK YEAR.
>> Stephen: I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE YOU STILL DO YOUR OWN
STUNTS.
>> WELL, I FEEL THAT I-- I WOULD LET PEOPLE DOWN IF I DIDN'T DO
MY OWN STUNTS.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
SO I GUESS YOU DO YOUR OWN STUNTS, THEN.
(LAUGHTER) I DON'T-- I MEAN WITH ALL DUE
RESPECT, I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT A MAN WHO SPENDS
MOST OF HIS TIME LYING DOWN ON THE JOB THESE DAYS, DOES HIS OWN
STUNTS, PLEASE TAKE THAT WITH RESPECT.
I MEAN IT WITH RESPECT, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
>> DON'T BELIEVE T HUH.
>> Stephen: NO, I DO NOT.
>> NOW THAT'S A PROBLEM.
(APPLAUSE) >> I'M OUT FROM-- COME OUT FROM
BEHIND THE DESK.
(APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> HANDS IN POCKETS.
>> Stephen: YOU WANT TO GO?
>> IT'S ALREADY BEGUN.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK TIRED, BRUCE.
LET ME GET YOU A CHAIR.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, WILLIS.
(APPLAUSE) >> COLBERT!
>> Stephen: I'M GLUTEN FREE YOU SON OF A BITCH.
>> ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) .
>> Stephen: HOW DID YOU GET SO STRONG, YOU MAGNIFICENT BAS
TARD?
YES, YES!
>> YIPEE KAYA WILLIAM FAULKNER.
(APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU.
>> I.
>> I DON'T DO MY OWN STUNTS.
>> Stephen: SON OF A BITCH.
OH, THAT ONE HURT.
>> Stephen: BRUCE WILLIS, EVERYONE, MISERY AT THE
BROADHEARST THEATER THROUGH FEBRUARY 149.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.