So, you're really excited for your date this weekend. You've been chatting to this guy and you
feel like this could actually be something. And then the time ticks around and you get the text,
the text that basically cancels on you last minute. Guess what? You are dating somebody who
is flakey. So what do you do? How do you respond to a guy who flakes out last minute,
in a way that you can still come across as a high value woman who knows her worth?
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to my channel. I'm Renee Slansky. I'm a professional dating
and relationship coach, and I help women from around the world date smart and strategically,
break toxic cycles, and know how to set their standards to set themselves up for
love. All right, let's talk about those flakes out there. And I'm not talking about the chocolate.
I'm talking about those guys that seem to have a lot of potential, maybe you've even gone on a
couple of dates, but then they start to be wishy washy. They say they're going to go on a date with
you and then they cancel last minute. Then you give him a second chance and he does it again.
And you're in a position where basically, you're over it. So how do you make sure that you don't
keep getting your hopes up, or keep entertaining someone who clearly isn't ready to invest in you?
Now, before I jump into these really practical tips on what to do and what to say, don't forget
to subscribe, give me a thumbs up, and drop a "thanks Renee" down below if this is helping
you. Okay, the first thing that I want to say is this ladies: what is really key here is prevention
not adaption. If you find yourself in a position where you are dating these guys who seem to be
like, "Yeah, yeah. Let's go on a date." And then they don't and you've already canceled all your
plans, then really it's going to sting and it's going to make you feel like, "Hang on a second.
Are all men like this?" No, not all men are like that. There are men who are out there who actually
do want to invest and are looking for a high value woman because they are a high value man. So,
what we need to do is almost safeguard yourself so that you can assess his character and assess his
level of investment first. How do we do that? All right. For instance, if he says to you,
"I would love to take you out on a dinner date or drinks on Saturday night. Do you think you're
free?" Instead of just being like, "Yes, I'm all in" or playing it cool and then canceling
all your plans and basically planning your wedding in your head, say it to him instead
this: "Sounds like a great idea. I would love to go on a date with you. Let me know by Friday at
the latest, because I just need to make sure that I have all my other plans in order."
Now, that sentence alone is affirming yes, you would like to go on a date. You're not just going
to hang out and you see this as a date. That's the first thing to do because you want to show, this
is what I'm after. I'm actually after someone who is ready to court me, and hoping that that's you.
The second thing you're doing is you're giving him a timeframe to say, "Let me know
by this time" without making it sound like you're demanding something. It's pretty realistic, and
you're giving him a reason why. "Because I need to make sure that all my other plans are in order,"
showing him that you're not just waiting around and you're not just free and accessible whenever
he wants, but you also have a life outside of him. That's really simple, and what it does is it
actually does give you some boundaries to work out whether this guy is able to meet that standard.
Now, if it comes around Friday and he confirms, fantastic.
If it comes around Friday, you don't hear from him, maybe you've sent a message saying, "Hey,
just checking in" and he still doesn't confirm everything, don't go and just sit around and wait
for him to confirm. Continue on with your weekend. Continue on with your doing. Don't put your life
on hold for somebody who cannot be bothered to text back or follow through on their word.
Now, if he does say, "Yeah, sure. Definitely on for Saturday night," then you get the last minute
text on Saturday when you're meant to be going for your date, you want to make sure that A,
there's a really good reason why that happened and B, he's communicated it through a phone call.
Okay? This is key, ladies. Having him just kind of text you shows that he thinks it's okay to
be able to escape some sort of accountability when really, if he did plan something with you,
he confirmed it and then he bailed, it deserves at least a phone call.
Now, if he does call you and gives you a legitimate excuse, then I think that's fair
enough. We need to have some sort of grace period. However, if you're finding that he's constantly
doing this, then you need to communicate to him that you're not somebody who dates pastries.
Because pastries are flakey, right? And maybe that's something you want to say to him. Next time
he says, "Hey, how about we do a date then?" Say, "Look, I really liked getting to know you," as in
past-tense, "liked." "However, I just don't think that we're on the same page here, and I
don't want to be kept being stood up or canceled, because I don't appreciate it." And that's simple.
I think often we feel like we have to just accept that behavior or we need to be like,
"Oh, sorry. I like you, but..." And we go into this apologetic mode when ladies,
you can actually communicate straight up in a kind but assertive way that you're not ready or
willing to tolerate that behavior. It doesn't mean that you need to go into a full-on lengthy text,
or start criticizing him, or start getting angry and go into a full on brawl and basically sent him
500 texts. It's not going to work. It's not going to change anything.
At the end of the day, dating is about getting to know that person. And if you're finding over
time that he's consistent in being inconsistent and flakey, well you've got your answer. And
there's no point putting your energy into that person anymore, even if it's to try and make him
see these wrongs, or see the truth, or get an answer of why he's like that.
You have your answer. Now, it may not be the answer that you want, but it is an answer and
now it's time to focus your energy on somebody who is ready to actually take you on dates.
All right ladies, I really hope this helped you. Now, if you're somebody who struggles with
red flags, meaning you can't see them or you justify them or you ignore them,
then I suggest downloading my free checklist, my red flag checklist. You can get that
down below or at the end of this video. I give you literally a checklist to look for
in the beginning stages when you're dating someone, then as you're starting to move through,
to seeing what red flags you should actually be aware of. It's really, really helpful. All right,
let me know if this video has helped you. If it has, drop a "thanks Renee" down below,
give me a thumbs up, and hit that like button, and I'll see you guys next time. Bye for now.