our next guest is an acclaimed director and author of a new memoir entitled my
boring ass life please say hello to kevin smith oh welcome to the program
thank you sir how you feeling i feel it you could it's like a meat locker yes it is like it's like
a sperm bank you could chill sperm in here uh we like to keep our comedy fresh now listen uh tell
tell us about your uh career it's a fascinating career interesting beginning and how did you get
started and what are you up to now i made a movie called the clerks about 12 13 years ago
low budget very low budget very inexpensive movie and then
last year i made a movie called clerks too so i haven't gotten very far in my career
when you say low budget we're accustomed to hearing uh motion picture budgets 50 60 70 million
dollars not uncommon right compared to your budget what are we talking about uh 27 575 wow
wow and what what really is the difference there uh you know hookers no coke that kind of thing oh
i see
and you've done some acting you've appeared with bruce willis a little bit yeah i just said this
summer i was in uh live free or die hard right um they had called me up and they were like hey
we got this part played a warlock you're like a master hacker and you live in your mom's basement
and you're basically on the computer all the time like so you want me to play a part where all i do
is spend time on my computer never leave my house you come shoot that at my place because that is
my life to a t i was like this is type casting this is a hard call for you to be fat because i
could do that like easy did you uh have a rapport with bruce do you know him or did you just work
i've never worked with him before but you know he's the pride of pennsylvania so he's a jersey
boy as well um so and i was a huge moonlight fan when i was a kid and loved die hard so
i was uh there's a lot of hero worship going on there and we did kind of get along very well
i was doing some rewriting like while we were shooting the movie for my scene
writing your own scene rewriting it yeah because i got like 50 writers on those things anyway i was
like i might as well be one sure um so he liked what i had written we submitted to the studio
and the studio i guess didn't like it whatsoever and uh kicked it back and then bruce like let me
handle this and he called him up and he's on a cell phone stand next to him he's like yeah yeah
you get the pages they're like can't hear what they're saying i just hear him he's like yeah so
why not why aren't we gonna do it really you don't want to do it all right well who's your second
choice to play john mcclane um see yeah and i was like that is such a pimp move man that's so cool
cover of a magazine i'm not familiar with yes a bear's life affair is live
there you are what is the magazine first gay theme magazine dave
a gay theme magazine magazine expression i'm shocked to be on the cover um
apparently within the gay community there's a movement called the bear movement and it's uh most
people think of gay dudes they look like you know the will and grace guy or the or the where after
the straight guy people they mostly look like me apparently is that right i wear a lot of layers
you know like like a lot of food and whatnot so apparently within that uh community there are you
know bears guys that look like me and the dudes who are really into them are called of course cubs
old cubs yes cubs and apparently yeah i'm i've been the focus of of a lot of uh admiration of the
community congratulations i'm so i'd be considered something of a coup a scorer for a cub you know
the ultimate bear to get and uh they called and they said you want to be on a magazine i was like
are you telling me there's someone out there who sexualizes me like let's i'll be on that magazine
this is a biography is that what this is it's kind of not a memoir i guess it's different really it's
barely even a book sir i mean well i don't know it's very impressive it's very thick and and
if quantity equaled quality it'd be an excellent masterpiece but um it's a collection of blogs that
i've written over the years online and somebody called me up said you've written so much we can
publish it in the book okay i said do i have to do anything they said no i said done you go sure um
and when when you're uh operating in the the world of blogs yes i mean it's fairly intimate
communication with people you don't know largely pretty much yeah how do you respond to that
interaction uh it depends like i got a really great relationship with people who support our
movies because i always feel like well they employ us so i better suck up to them and um
but then there are people of course if you if you make it known that you're online they can find you
there are people who don't like you who will just kind of seek you out and tell you how
terrible you are so you wind up reading a lot of stuff like you're fat and i'm like i know
yeah i prefer morbidly obese you know but uh you get into an interaction with them
and they can really like take your day down you know it's like you're feeling walking
around feeling pretty good about yourself like i came from jersey i got a film career
things are working for me and then like wampa one tells me i suck and i believe it you know
wampa
darth hater and you're like oh you know
my wife could like totally tell me like you should really lose some weight and i'm like i don't
believe that but darth hater will say it i go on a diet like it's under your skin yeah that's odd
that's the power of the internet my friend that's what that is now um but it's all it's i mean you
can't not go to the internet right because it's like the common sense would dictate if people are
saying mean things just stay away from it but i can't stay away from it because that's where the
porn is of course yes exactly um now uh there's a premiere of a show tonight on uh cw the cw
entitled reaper that you uh you directed the pilot for that i directed the pilot for the show called
reaper really funny shows it aired a couple hours ago so everybody missed it um but they're airing
it again on thursday so everybody could catch it if you want it so this is good you uh pretty much
got all bases covered don't you all media i got the movies i got the books i got the i got the tv
and whatnot adult film industry is next whoa based on that bears life cover i mean somebody why not
somebody wants to see me with my clothes though and uh a bunch of chubby chasers out there looking
for me and the name of the book is my boring ass life in stores now kevin thank you very much
nice meeting you thank you for being here kevin smith everybody we'll be right back