ERIC ROBERSON: I want to do something special.
I want to do something special.
We are live on air, and we have a lot of companies here.
And I want to do something special.
I want to write a song possible right this very
second on this spot.
Me and my good friend, Ian.
But I want to include you guys as well.
And see, this is how special it's going to be.
Check this out.
The song is going to be such a hit that American Express is
going to pay for it.
And they're going to put it on a commercial.
We're going to make a ton of money.
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHTER]
ERIC ROBERSON: And I'm going to share the proceeds with
everyone in the room, 'cause I'm a fair kind of guy.
All right?
But there's a simple thing, there's a simple
rule you need to follow.
I need subjects.
Words, thoughts, whatever's from the crowd.
I need whatever.
But before you yell something out, let the word you yell out
be a fun word.
Do not give me a boring.
We're trying to impress American Express.
Do not give me a boring, whack, simple word.
Don't give me love or peace or fate or intimacy or
anything like that.
I need good words like toenail clippings or
something like that.
The better the song, the better our chances that
American Express will pay for this!
If you decide to still give me a simple word, trust me I have
a cordless microphone.
I will turn the cameras off and I will throw this mic.
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHTER]
ERIC ROBERSON: As hard and as accurate as I can into your
chest cavity.
OK?
All right, any words, any words.
Anything?
AUDIENCE: Lilacs.
ERIC ROBERSON: You said lilacs?
Lilacs.
Is that a flower?
It's a flower?
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
ERIC ROBERSON: Wow!
Imagine what's on your mind.
Lilacs.
What color's a lilac, just so I know?
AUDIENCE: Purple.
ERIC ROBERSON: It's purple.
Thank you very much.
What'd you say over here?
AUDIENCE: I didn't say it.
He did.
ERIC ROBERSON: What did he say?
I'm not going to use it.
I just need to know what he said.
AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE].
ERIC ROBERSON: Excellent.
Look at you.
Thank you.
Is that why you're bent over?
OK, I gotcha.
I gotcha.
It's cool.
He's like, ugh!
In fact, [INAUDIBLE]!
You're disqualified.
Anything over here?
Brazil?
I love it.
I'll tell you a quick story.
My wife went to Brazil.
My wife went to Wharton and they did a school trip.
And she came back and I was at the airport
to greet her, happy.
And as soon as she got off the plane, the first thing she
said to me was, you're never going there.
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHTER]
ERIC ROBERSON: That's a true story.
That's a true story.
So I'm gonna sing this song in honor of my
absence from Brazil.
Anything else?
Google?
Thank you!
Cha-ching!
We're going to get that money.
[LAUGHS]
What's that?
Roller coaster.
OK, I think we're good.
Are we good?
I think we're good.
Listen, I'm gonna write this down.
And I usually remember this.
But I'm gonna write it down because I need you guys to
remember it.
So we have roller coaster.
Just writing roller 'cause we don't have time.
What was the other ones?
Look, I forgot that fast.
Google.
Lilac.
How do you spell lilac?
What is that?
I never spelled--
oh lord.
Just the one young lady with the chain.
What's that?
You want your spell to be--
oh, plural.
You want to do lilacs.
OK, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
And Brazil.
OK, are you ready for the song?
OK, OK, so we have--
what was your word though, Julie?
I'm gonna take your word.
What was your word?
It was investment?
All right, all right.
She's all corporate.
[MUMBLES]
Investment.
We are in a room full of lawyers and entrepreneurs.
CDs are only $10.
You can make the investment.
OK, OK.
I apologize.
I apologize Ryan, for my silliness.
Someone slipped something in my tea, I think.
OK, so we have--
I could have wrote roller coaster--
roller coaster, Google, lilacs plural, Brazil and investment.
Camera, where's the camera at?
I just want make sure that they see this.
OK, all right.
And Ian's gonna create the music right now
on the spot as well.
So he's gonna get some publishing as well.
So you can start it whenever you feel.
If you want, I'll throw even a beat to it as well.
But we'll let you start first.
[GUITAR PLAYING]
ERIC ROBERSON: [PERCUSSION SOUNDS]
That's for the Brazil.
[PERCUSSION SOUNDS]
I like this.
[PERCUSSION SOUNDS]
Roller coaster.
Google.
Lilacs.
Brazil.
And investments.
I might even throw your Ex-Lax in.
I might do it.
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHING]
[PERCUSSION SOUNDS AND GUITAR]
ERIC ROBERSON: [SINGING]
Let me tell you about a story when I was laying on my sofa.
How the girl had my heart go up and down
like a roller coaster.
And I don't mean to say that like that's a good thing.
But you gave me the word, so there's a song I need to sing.
I'm from Jersey.
She was from Brazil.
It's hot there.
I live where it's chill.
I tried to say I love you.
I offered her daffodils.
She said, that's whack.
So I brought her some lilacs.
And she let me in, and I entered.
It was lovely, most of it, I remember.
See, I thought this girl was heaven sent.
From that point, I was ready to make an investment.
I went to go buy a ring.
I even knew the size.
She showed me what she liked.
I checked out the price on Google.
That's expensive!
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHING]
ERIC ROBERSON: [SINGING]
Wish she was frugal.
So I bought it anyway.
I ignored the danger signs.
Went with my heart and not my mind.
So I got on my knee while she was laying on my sofa.
Won't you be with me for my ride through
life's roller coaster?
And she said yes, softly laid down tears and
dropped down on my chest.
And I replied by putting my hand right on her thigh.
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHING]
ERIC ROBERSON: [SINGING]
Get your mind out the gutter.
So we fought about the wedding plans and everything and how
we would have wine that was chilled.
And we would walk and I would carry her through the house
holding her up and we would have a
honeymoon out in Brazil.
And I mean, she would walk down and the flower girl would
be looking beautiful throwing purple lilacs.
Until I found out that the price for weddings put my
American Express to the max.
What I thought was heaven sent has turned into a bad
investment.
Now I'm looking at all my money has went.
Seems like all of my money's really spent.
Next time I'll find someone frugal.
So I won't have to find out about bankruptcy in Google.
Hopefully next time I'll find someone frugal.
Maybe I'll find a dating site.
Let me type it in on Google.
Singleblackman.com.
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHING]
ERIC ROBERSON: [SINGING]
Singlewoman.com.
That's [INAUDIBLE] that.
Yeah, applause.
What was that?
I turn to the wrong website I think.
Go back!
Had a bald headed guy in a Speedo and in
his mouth was a lilac.
So this moral of the story before I'm done.
You need to really find who you invest in, it's not all
about just fun.
Because this young lady may take your heart
and not give it back.
And your heart will feel like you just took a
whole bunch of Ex-Lax.
AUDIENCE: [LAUGHING]
ERIC ROBERSON: Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
[APPLAUSE]