Is your ex dropping hints that they might actually want to get back together with you?
That's what we're going to be talking about in this video. But first my name is Clay with
modernlove.life. We help you get the great loving relationship that you're looking for
without having to play mind games, without having to play hard to get, and without having
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is something that you do want work on, if you do want some help with communication,
we do have our course called Effortless Connection. You can go ahead and find information on that
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People can often get the sense that their ex is trying to send them some sort of messages,
hints that maybe they want to get back together. Maybe they have their doubts about the breakup.
Maybe they are open to reconciliation. Maybe there's still hope there or something like
that. How do you know if your ex is really doing this, or if maybe you're just reading
too much into things? This is what we're going to be talking about.
The first way that you can kind of tell, or at least something that's going to point you
in the direction that maybe they might be dropping hints is, okay, yeah, maybe you're
experiencing them saying or doing something, but we want to take a step back first and
look at their overall personality. If their overall personality is that they're just not
generally direct about things overall, they might be the kind of person that actually
could be leaving you hints. I mean, you know their personality better than I do. I probably
don't know the details of your situation unless maybe we were working together, but I don't
know your ex as well as you do. You just have to look at them and say, "Okay, are they someone
who's maybe non-confrontational, indirect," something like that. If that's the case, then
yeah, they might be the kind of person that potentially could be dropping hints for you.
The second thing you might want to be thinking about when it comes to their personality,
is are they prideful or maybe have a hard time admitting that they were wrong. If they
are prideful or having a hard time admitting that they are wrong, if that's also a part
of their personality, they're probably not just going to come out directly and say, "Hey,
I was wrong. Let's get back together." They're probably going to just drop some hints, hope
that you take a clue and kind of move things forward so they can just be like, "Oh well,
okay, well you wanted it anyway. All right, cool, we can get back together." You have
to look at their personality. Are they either indirect or incredibly prideful? If so, these
are two personality types that really set the context for, yeah, they might be leaving
you some hints here. By the way, if you do want to understand more
about what your ex is thinking, what their whole thought process is, you might want to
check out this video series up here on what your ex is thinking. It goes through your
ex's thought process, what their experience is, what their emotional journey is and all
of that. Definitely feel free to check that out, if that's something that you haven't
done so already. The next thing that we want to do is we want
to look at some of the actual interactions that you've had. We want to look at say, have
you and your ex been having positive interactions recently? Now the two of you broke up for
whatever reason. There's all sorts of reasons why you might break up. Typically, it's the
two of you don't see each other on the same team, poor communication or lack of trust,
but that can manifest itself in several different ways, countless different ways.
If after the breakup, sure, maybe your ex has some degree of regret, maybe they thought
the grass would be greener on the other side or something like that, but typically they're
not just going to come back to you because of that. It can happen, sure. I've been in
that situation before. Yes, it can happen. But most likely your ex is only going to want
to get back together with you if they are having positive interactions with you. If
they can see, "Hey, maybe I was wrong about who I thought you were when we broke up. Maybe
I was wrong about the fact that maybe we can't get along." That means that the two of you
are going to have to come together at some point and have a positive interaction that
brings the two of you closer, that creates more of that positive momentum, that creates
that foundation of emotional connection and all of that stuff.
If you have had this at some point recently, and you're starting to experience some of
these kind of confusing, is that a hint kind of behavior, then yeah, that definitely could
indicate maybe they're starting to have a change of heart. Maybe they're starting to
open themselves up to the idea of the two of you working things out, having a future
together. Or maybe they're not at that point yet, but they're just saying like, "Hey, that
was a really good experience. Let's do that again." That's something to look out for.
Another thing is that they have to be able to see that you're not the same person that
they broke up with. Okay great, the two of you broke up for some reason. Okay great,
the two of you are interacting together in a positive way that's bringing the two of
you closer, excellent. But how are they going to know that this isn't just going to end
up with another breakup when the problems come back, when the arguing comes back, when
the cheating comes back, when the lying comes back, when the whatever comes back?
They're going to need to know and see and observe that this is not the same situation
that they walked out of. They're going to need to see that this is some sort of improved
dynamic between the two of you. That's not to say that you're some horrible person and
you need to reform your ways because not every breakup is going to happen because of you.
Yeah, I'm sure maybe you did have some role to contribute. Yes, most of us do have some
role to contribute. But the dynamic between the two of you has to change. It has to be
different. They have to understand that like, "Okay, this is not going to be the same thing
that I walked out of in the first place." On top of that, they have to be able to also
see that, "Yes, the two of you can enjoy getting along with one another." And if they're also
one of those other personality types that we talked about earlier, and you're also seeing
some behavior that you think might be a hint, like some sort of text message thing that's
like, "Oh hey, yeah, maybe we can work things out someday." Or, "Oh yeah, maybe one of these
nights you can come over and we can cuddle," or something like that. Okay, maybe that's
a hint. Maybe it is. Of course the last thing that we want to also
explore is you. How are you interacting in these situations? How are you behaving? One
of the big problems that I see so many people making when it comes to getting back together
with their ex is that they often don't push things enough. One of the metaphors I use
for this is let's say that you're in a dark room. You can't see where anything is. You
can't see if there's some piece of furniture in front of you. You can't see if there's
a wall or a door or whatever around. You're just dropped in the middle of this dark room.
You want to get out to go somewhere else and you don't know what the geography of the room
is. There's a couple of different ways you can
go about doing this. Now, obviously in order to avoid tripping over something, smacking
into something, you could just stand still. You could just do that. That would keep you
from tripping, hurting yourself, but it's not going to get you anywhere. Unfortunately,
this is how a lot of people actually interact with their ex. They just stand still. They
just stay within some sort of comfort zone. Yes, your ex might be dropping some hints
for you, but if you're just staying in your comfort zone and not moving forward to explore
what that might actually be, then you're not really going to know.
What I generally recommend people do is that if you're in a dark room, yes, you could just
sort of jaunt across to the other side of the room and risk tripping over an ottoman
or a couch or a chair or smacking into a wall, or whatever. Probably the safest thing to
do is to just slowly spread your arms out, kind of feel around. Okay, it doesn't seem
like there's anything over here. All right, it's safe to go over here. Oh, wait, I feel
something here. That feels like it might be a door or maybe a wall. Okay, so there's something
over here. I know I probably shouldn't just like lurch in this direction. How about over
here? Okay. What we want to do is we want to actually
feel out, push out that comfort zone a little bit so that we can get a sort of sense about
the geography of the room. If your ex is leaving things for you that could potentially be hints
that they want to get back together, you want to start pushing that, exploring that, seeing
how far you can go before you start to get some resistance or pushback from them.
Once you actually get some resistance or pushback from them, that's going to give you information
that you can then use to say, "Okay, this is what seems to be actually going on." Maybe
they're uncomfortable with flirting. Okay, that tells us that there's maybe this high
level of expectation. It's like all or nothing. Okay, maybe we need to drop that level of
expectation. Or maybe they are uncomfortable getting emotionally open with you. Okay, why
could that be? Is it because maybe they're emotionally closed off right now? They're
still healing emotionally. They don't trust. Maybe it's because they're in a relationship
with someone else, a rebound relationship and they don't feel that it's right for that
other partner. There could be all sorts of other things, but until we actually start
to get more feedback, we're not going to know how to respond to it.
So if you are getting some hints from your ex and maybe some of these other things that
we've talked about in this video are lining up for you, then you want to also make sure
that you're able to push things to the point where either you keep going and "Hey great,
we're back together," or you start to get some resistance. That's going to tell you
what your next step is going to be. Obviously you don't want to just go from zero to a hundred
and get big resistance. "Hey, should we get back together?" No. That's not going to give
you enough information. What you want to do is you want to move slowly to the first point
where you start to get some pushback. "I just don't feel comfortable talking to you in that
way. I just don't think that we should be doing that." Okay, that tells you a little
bit more in a subtle sort of sense in terms of how to navigate around the problem.
These are some things that might let you know that your ex is dropping hints. These are
some things that I think I've gone over about what you can do moving forward if you think
they might be dropping hints. If you do want to learn more about how to communicate with
them, how to navigate through this dark room, so to speak, you might be interested in our
course called Effortless Connection. Once again, that is down below in the description
box. If it seems right for you, feel free to sign up. If it's not right for you, no
worries. Once again, thank you so much for watching.
If you did like this video, help a guy out with his YouTube channel, hit that thumbs
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thumbs up button. If you do want to learn more about what your ex is thinking, please
feel free to check out this video series over here on exactly that topic, or feel free to
check out this video right here. Once again, my name is Clay. Please take care
and I'll talk to you next time.