I want to talk to you about something that most guys do. I've done this many times in my
life before. And it is absolutely killing your confidence and your chances with more women.
I like to say it's the concept of scraping the bottle... the bottom of the barrel,
scraping the bottom of the barrel. Do you do this in your life? What is scraping
the bottom of the barrel? It means you're going for the women who are closest to you.
And while that's not a bad thing, and we'll go into that in a little bit here,
you're going for the women who you believe are the low hanging fruit. I say believe,
because they're not necessarily the low hanging fruit because they're not necessarily options,
but you believe that they are options, and because they're not actually options, they are the bottom
of the barrel. And I will give you a few examples in just a bit of these women who surround you
that you are going for and you're wasting your time. This episode is inspired by
a few coaching clients that I have. And if you're listening, you know who you are,
who deal in situations like this. I'd say this probably happens to
oh, I would say maybe around 30% at least. Maybe more of the clients that we work here
with at Tripp Advice and the Tripp Advice coaching program. They have this one girl who's close
to them, or that they sort of know. And they are trying to go for her, they're trying to strategize
how to go for her. And what ends up happening is they don't end up attracting them and they don't
end up getting them. It kills their confidence and then it kills your chances with other women
because you're spending your time strategizing how to go for that one woman. It is one big waste of
time. My big belief is that now that we live in a society where there are women who are just at the
tip of our fingers online, so we can meet lots and lots of women. more than our ancestors were
ever able to do. We can do this now online. And because technology has allowed us to
move to new cities, fairly easy to travel a lot. The options are endless. What ends up happening,
back to this idea of this topic, is guys end up just going for the women who are closest to them
that they don't have a chance with. We're talking about the women that are close to you,
bottom of the barrel, low hanging fruit. Who are these women? One obvious one are the women at your
work. I like to say here at Tripp Advice we don't go for women at work due to the possibilities
of sexual harassment. Also, just a disaster if you guys end up breaking up. Just a disaster if
you guys end up breaking up. It's gonna be hell on earth. Well, at least you have the chances
of it being hell on earth. And that's not the risk I'd be willing to take. And I would not advise you
to take. I do not advise you to have a situation where you meet a girl at work, try to go for her,
risk sexual harassment and risk if you guys break up, you got to show up there every day and then
see her – the place where you're spending 75% of your time. But a lot of guys do that. They like
to go for the women at work because they're right there. They spend a lot of time around a woman,
you spend enough time around someone who you think is somewhat attractive,
you end up falling for them. It happens all the time. It happens all the time. Why do you think
that people meet people at work? Because they spend time around them. They do that. But I'm
advising you not to do that. I have a lot of other episodes where I talk about the dangers of dating
coworkers and people at work. I think you get the idea here, you understand the risks involved.
All right, who else? Some less obvious ones. And this one comes from a client that I'm working
with. He said, "There's this woman and she's married, but she asked me to hang out with her.
And I'm not sure if she's interested, if she's not interested." He was asking me my advice. He said,
"I just don't know what to do. Like, what should I make of this? Tripp what do you make of this?" And
I said, "Listen, at the end of the day. It doesn't matter what we make of this. She's married." So if
there's a woman out there who's showing you interest but has a boyfriend or is married,
this is bottom of the barrel scraping here. These are women who you don't have a chance with.
And even if you did, would you really trust a woman? Let's say, hypothetically, you meet a girl,
she breaks up with her boyfriend for you, she cheats on her boyfriend, she cheats on her husband
with you. Are you going to trust that woman? Probably not. I can't imagine that you would.
We're wasting our time. That's the theme of today's episode. We don't want to waste our time.
We want to increase our chances with women. And by doing that, we need to have more time available
to meet other women, not women who are at work, not women who have a boyfriend or a husband. We
are going to stray far away from that. Alright, how about the girl who lives in your building?
You know that girl, that one cute girl who lives in your building? And you're strategizing on how
to meet her. Now listen, at the end of the day, can you meet a girl in you're building? Can
you guys end up having a relationship? Can you have a little hookup? Yeah. But again, you risk
what happens next if it doesn't work out. And most relationships, statistically speaking, don't last.
Even when you get to the marriage portion, statistically speaking,
half of those don't last. My point is that you have to understand the risk.
And a lot of guys... and this is again to the theme here, a lot of guys, what they do is
they end up putting themselves in this mindset of scarcity, which is the whole
reason why you are strategizing how to meet women at work, how to meet or attract the
girl who has a boyfriend or a husband, or try to go for the girl who lives in your building.
It's a scarcity mindset. If you had... and I call this the
high status filter, I was just talking about this recently on a YouTube video. I was talking
about the idea of the high status filter, which is imagine 100 women are texting you right now. 100
beautiful women are texting you right now. Are you going to go for the woman at work? The coworker?
No, probably not. You know the risks involved so you're not going to do that. Why? Because you have
other options. Are you going to go for the girl who has a boyfriend or who has a husband who's
showing you interest? No, probably not. Because you have a lot of other options. What about the
girl who lives in your building? Are you going to go for that girl? No, probably not. Because
yes, that's right, you have other options. When we put it that way, you say to yourself, "Yeah,
I'm not going to go for those women." But when I put you in a scarce mindset,
where there is not 100 women texting you, then you start to go for them. Now I know whenever
I say the high status filter, I can hear the people now, "Well Tripp, that's easy to say,
but I don't have 100 women texting me right now. And I probably won't ever have 100 texting me
right now. And what guy actually has literally 100 women texting them right now?"
And I understand what you're saying and I get it. It makes it harder. But what I'm saying here is I
know you're not literally going to have 100 women texting you at any given time. But at least that
mindset helps you make the right decision. And that's what we're talking about here – making
the appropriate decision for you. Because when you stop going for these types of women, these bottom
of the barrel women, first of all, like I said in the title here, it kills your confidence because
it may or may not work out. The more that you invest your time, the more that you strategize,
and the more work and effort that you put into this, the harder you fall. Because you're going
to be that much more upset because of all the work and time and strategizing that you invested in it.
It kills your confidence when you strategize and then it doesn't work out. And I get it,
there's some times when you have to go through rejection, but it doesn't have to be this way.
And like I said, it kills your chances with women because you're taking all this time, putting all
this energy into this one woman, treating her like the unicorn. I should do a whole separate episode
on the idea of the unicorn girl, the girl or woman who you end up thinking is the perfect one.
When in reality, there is no perfect one. And there are many great women out there who could
be for you. I need you to start thinking on that level and not scraping the bottom of the
barrel. Another one just to add into this is the idea of any of your girl friends. Now I get it.
Meeting women through social circle is a great way to meet women. I met my girlfriend through
a social circle, but I don't even kind of social circle because when I hear the word social circle,
it sounds more like a group of friends that hang out all the time. Really, I met her through a
friend / acquaintance of mine. It was, yeah actually, we're gonna scratch that. It's not
from my social circle. It's from my network. My network of people that I know, I met that person,
so it is good to have a good network. But I'll tell you this right now. Hypothetically, if it
didn't work out with her, and I did all the stuff that I teach you guys of just getting the number,
being assertive, moving things forward, if it didn't work out, it, that would be it. I would
have moved on very quickly. And I want you guys to do that too. If you're saying to yourself,
for example, "I really do want to hook up this girl in my building. Let me just give it a
shot." Then you got to give it a shot, you got to go for it if you don't care about the risk,
and then that's it. I would not do that with a girl who has a boyfriend, I would not do that with
a woman at work. The building is the only one. And then the new one I'm saying here is the women
who you are friends with that are in your social circle. That's fine. You want to meet those girls,
that's a very normal and popular way from all the way back to the beginning of time to meet a woman
is through your social circle, through your network. Great, but you don't want to strategize.
I don't want you to strategize. You just got to go for it. She's either interested
or she's not. Get the quick rejection, that won't kill your confidence as much. And then
move on to other women. Where do you meet other women? Like I said earlier, online,
and meeting women in person. There's so many different ways to meet women these days. It could
be through just approaching women at bars. It can be approaching women at malls, outdoors anywhere,
it could be at singles events, if you want to go to a singles event or any kind of meetups.
It could be when you're just out doing some errands or some shopping. It could be at a
friend's party. It could be at an event you go to, a concert that you go to, a festival.
Lots of options for you outside of the bottom of the barrel women
who are closest to you that have high risk and little reward. That's another great way
of putting it – high risk and very little reward. Let's stay away, shall we? Great.