- DID YOU HAVE A GOOD ST. PATRICK'S DAY YESTERDAY?
[cheers and applause]
AND TODAY IS WHEN YOU FIND OUT IF THAT NEW TATTOO
COMES OFF IN THE SHOWER.
[laughter]
I'M SURE SOME OF YOU GOT A LITTLE CRAZY LAST NIGHT,
BUT L.A. GOT CRAZY. YESTERDAY MORNING.
YOU PROBABLY HEARD,
THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE HERE YESTERDAY MORNING.
IT WAS A 4.4 MAGNITUDE.
TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF WHAT THAT'S LIKE,
IT'S A LITTLE MORE THAN 4.3, AND LESS THAN A 4.5.
THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.
ANYBODY FEEL IT YESTERDAY?
all: YEAH!
- YEAH, SO DID I.
IT WAS--IT WAS QUITE SOMETHING.
AND I MEAN, 4.4 IS A BIG EARTHQUAKE.
AND IT HAPPENED AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING.
PORTIA STAYED IN BED. I REACTED QUICKLY.
I IMMEDIATELY CALLED MY BUTLER AND SAID,
"CARRY ME TO THE DOOR FRAME."
SO HE HAD ME UNDER THE DOOR--
AFTERWARDS, I WALKED AROUND THE HOUSE TO SURVEY THE DAMAGE,
AND IT WAS PRETTY BAD, ACTUALLY.
A LITTLE BIT OF THE CAT'S WATER SPILLED,
AND SOME OF THEIR FOOD HAD COME OUT OF THE BOWL ON THE TABLE,
SO--
WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS.
[laughter]
THEY SAY ANIMALS CAN SENSE
THAT SOMETHING IS GONNA HAPPEN BEFORE IT HAPPENS,
AND I SHOULD'VE KNOWN SOMETHING WAS UP,
BECAUSE CHARLIE, MY CAT,
SLEEPS WITH ME ALL THE TIME.
SHE'S THE CUTEST THING,
SLEEPS IN MY LITTLE ARM THERE, WITH HER HEAD THERE,
AND ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE THE EARTHQUAKE,
CHARLIE GOT OUT OF BED, PACKED A SUITCASE AND CALLED UBER.
[laughter]
I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST IN ONE OF HER MOODS, BUT SHE--
BUT PEOPLE CAN'T PREDICT 'EM.
SCIENTISTS ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO GUESS WHEN WE'LL HAVE 'EM
BASED ON PAST PATTERNS.
THEY SAY WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BIG ONE
SOMETIME IN THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS,
AND I USED TO TAKE THEIR WARNINGS SERIOUSLY--
THAT'S WHY I SPENT MOST OF THE '80s IN A CLOSET.
BUT, UM, THIS ONE--
[cheers and applause]
SO EASY TO GO TO THAT, ISN'T IT?
THIS ONE WAS REALLY SCARY,
AND IT'S ONE THING TO FREAK OUT IN YOUR HOME;
UNFORTUNATELY, THIS NEWS ANCHOR WAS LIVE ON THE AIR
WHEN THIS HAPPENED.
- GINGER, THANK YOU. COMING UP, MORE PROBLEMS FOR--
- EARTHQUAKE. - YEP--
- WE'RE HAVING AN EARTHQUAKE.
OKAY, IT APPEARS TO HAVE STOPPED.
- YEAH. - WE'RE GONNA--
WE'RE GONNA JUMP RIGHT NOW TO THE--
- LOOK AT OUR CAMERAS BEHIND US.
[laughter]
- OH.
[cheers and applause]
WE LAUGH, BUT...
THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S FUNNY.
I HOPE EVERYONE'S OKAY.
RIGHT NOW I WOULD LIKE TO SHAKE THINGS UP WITH A DANCE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS
ON WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE'S AN EARTHQUAKE.
SOME PEOPLE HIDE UNDER A DESK OR GET UNDER A DOOR FRAME.
MOST IMPORTANT THING IS, REALLY, TO GET ON TWITTER.
PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN L.A. STARTED TWEETING IMMEDIATELY,
SO I THOUGHT WE WOULD DO AN EARTHQUAKE EDITION
OF WEEKLY TWEETLY ROUNDUP.
- [singing] IT'S OUR WEEKLY TWEETLY ROUNDUP
YA-HOO!
YEE-HAW!
[rhythmic clapping]
[tempo increases]
[applause]
[rhythmic clapping]
[laughter]
[tempo increases]
[applause]
- THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
TOO KIND.
THESE WERE ALL SENT WITHIN ONE MINUTE OF THE EARTHQUAKE.
THIS IS FROM @ALEXBLAGG:
"EMBARRASSED THE EARTHQUAKE ONLY LASTED TEN SECONDS
"AND I ALREADY HAVE TO RESTOCK
MY DISASTER PREPAREDNESS PANTRY."
[laughter]
@THESEANBREWSTER:
"DON'T WORRY, ABC NEWS DOES HAVE A HELICOPTER
"FLYING OVER WESTWOOD TRACKING THE EARTHQUAKE.
WE WILL FIND AND ARREST THIS EARTHQUAKE."
[laughter]
@RACHELDOESSTUFF:
"DURING THAT EARTHQUAKE, MY LIFE FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES
AND IT WAS JUST A MONTAGE OF EVERY TIME I'VE EATEN CINNABON."
[laughter]
@ANTSIMPSON:
"OKAY, I'M GOING BACK TO BED, BUT I THINK WE ALL CAN AGREE
LUPITA NYONG'O LOOKED FLAWLESS IN THAT EARTHQUAKE."
[laughter]
IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE, GO TO--
ON TWITTER, GO TO OUR WEBSITE.