Hi, I'm Samantha Bee.
Welcome to "Full Frontal."
After this weekend's terrorist attack in London,
our president responded on Twitter.
Unfortunately, this time he didn't fall asleep mid-covfefe.
He took aim at London's mayor.
"At least 7 dead and 48 wounded in terror attack.
And Mayor of London says there is, 'no reason to be alarmed.'
"Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan
who had to think fast on his 'no reason
to be alarmed' statement.
MSM" as in mainstream media, "is working hard to sell it."
What is wrong with you?
Were are you just fulfilling your annual Ramadan
tradition of hurling insults at grief-stricken Muslims named
Khan?
Leave it to the guy who rocked out at Arlington Cemetery
to think this is the perfect moment
to get revenge for something Khan said two years ago.
I think his views are divisive.
They are outrageous. And I hope he loses badly.
Well, Trump won badly.
So at least Khan got part of his wish.
I wouldn't be surprised if the UK asks
to take a break from our special relationship
and start seeing other countries.
Remember how they reacted when we were attacked on 9/11?
[MUSIC - "STAR-SPANGLED BANNER"]
It was a touching show of solidarity marred only
by Her Majesty's refusal to belt out the lyrics
like she's at a Mets game.
In our hour of grief, all our NATO allies rallied round.
The French newspaper "Le Monde" even ran the headline,
"We are all Americans."
Do you have any idea what it takes for French people
to say they're Americans?
It puts them right off their snails!
How does are flame-spewing dirigible of diplomacy return
the favor?
Basically by sending London a fuck you card saying,
be more terrified.
London does not lead us to tell them
to be scared, Pumpkin Spice.
They've been weathering invasions,
attacks, and dark wizards since before America even existed.
They invented Keep Calm and Carry On decades
before it became an overused meme
to help our aunt make a joke out of her drinking problem.
You can knock London down.
But it'll just regenerate and come
back more badass than before.
Remember, we're the ones who couldn't hack it over there.
But it's no surprise Trump reacted
by raging against an ally and jabbering
about his stupid travel ban in a series of future Supreme Court
exhibits.
Trump is the only senile old man in the world
who is actually correct that the TV is talking to him.
And as always, his favorite show has been serving a breakfast
of scrambled Islamophobia apparently
on a strict hourly schedule.
Well, 27 minutes before the top of the hour.
It's time to talk terror.
Dude, you're not supposed to say out loud that terror
on the 27's is a thing!
As you know, if we don't spend half our hour stoking panic,
Rupert Murdoch shocks our genitals.
So let's do what we do!
London's mayor says terror is just
part of life in big cities.
But do we really have to accept radical Islam
as the new normal?
The way these Islamic extremists
celebrate Ramadan is trying to kill us.
And what did KSM say to you when
you were interrogating him?
He said that our freedoms and civil liberties
were weapons that Allah had placed on this planet
so that it would be easier for them to defeat us.
Yeah.
That Muslim mayor is full of shit.
But Khalid Sheikh Mohammad makes some great points once you get
a few liters of water in him.
The quivering couch lice also had awesome policy tips
for their target audience of sitting
presidents aged 70 to 75.
Is it time to bring back the surveillance of mosques
here in the United States?
All you could do, Mark, is go into these
areas and do pre-arrests.
I'm not sure what you're up to.
I cannot take the risk.
Come with me.
"We must stop being politically correct"
With the IRA, for example, they
had internment without trial.
Now because of political correctness in the last 20
years, everyone says, oh no.
You can't do that.
That's Islamophobic.
Do you think the coffee in those cups
ever wishes it could just jump out and run away?
While the sofa sorority were licking the underside
of POTUS's tweets, his surrogates
were chastising reporters for stooping
to notice a president's public utterances.
I think it's just the obsession over every detail
of the president's tweets.
This obsession with covering everything he says on Twitter--
- It's not policy. - Of course it is.
It's social media, Chris. It's social media.
I think that to call it a tweet
is to run away from its significance.
What is it?
A bowl of petunias?
No!
I will not take a Hitchhiker's Guide reference
from the only guy who gave Anders
Breivik's manifesto a blurb.
You want to keep Americans safe, Mr. President?
Here's a thought.
Stop your government.
Read a book.
And for the love of God, take the advice a woman
gave you exactly one year ago.
Delete your fucking account.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]
We'll be right back.