I’ve heard this so many times my eyes can’t even roll anymore because they’re sore.
It doesn’t even make my blood boil because my blood has boiled so many times it evaporated.
“Those guys nowadays, with their make up, and jewelry, and dresses
Ugh, I just wish we could go back to real manly men, because this is ridiculous
Long gone are the days when they were true gentlemen, required to
wear layered structured wool suits everyday and go to war and die. Geez, do I miss that."
First, I saw this Polish billboard which has a Bible quote saying:
“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing”.
Now, as a Catholic it made me *caCkle* because back in the Bible days
Jesus obviously wore what would nowadays be considered a dress.
And then I saw Candace Owens complain about Harry Styles wearing a dress.
Because obviously that's one of the biggest issues of the 21st century
And she said “Bring back manly men”.
Now I’ve snapped many times before, I've snapped a lot of times in my life
but this just made me snap with some extra passion.
So what exactly is a manly man, according to modern people?
Apparently, a manly man, obviously wears PANTS, or trousers for you Brits I guess
They can’t be too tight, otherwise they’re too feminine; they also can’t be too wide, because they're too feminine
And most importantly, they shouldn’t be in a vibrant color, because as we all know, colors are reserved for females.
And God forbid it had any type of pattern, because that's feminine too.
And that's reserved for *wOmeNly wOmeN*.
And a manly man should wear either a shirt or a tshirt,
and that’s pretty much all that’s acceptable. Black turtleneck should
be alright UNLESS it’s too tight. A turtleneck in any other color is not manly enough.
And God forbid there are any accessories. A manly man relies only on his pockets.
If we look at a timeline of Western fashion history
and we pinpoint 1790s, which is sort of when this stereotype started taking shape,
we see a very sad truth - sad for any manly men fans out there at least
And that is that for the majority of human history, men were looking very... UNMANLY.
Let’s take 1400s, for example. The very manly age of honourable and brave knights and wise kings.
The age of men wearing sensible, toned-down, respectable clothing that... wait, wait what is that?
Cardi B going 'OMAGAWHATISDAT"
Cardi B going 'OMAGA"
Cardi B going 'WHATISDAT'
What... mmm?
The "Woah... What?" meme quoted
Another meme of a guy going "WHAT? WHAT THE F-"
You know, maybe it was just a phase? Let’s have a look at 1500s then. Wasn’t Henry VIII
like a proper manly man, with his manly beard, a beer belly and shitty attitude towards women?
He surely must have... oh wait. Is that...
Is that jewelry?
Are these... stockings? Extravagant gold fabric? Fancy cap?
Not to mention this looks dangerously close to a modern mini skirt...
At least this decorative codpiece accentuating his manly genitalia must feel manly to the manly men fans...
Or does it?
In 17th century, high heels finally became a thing and women got crazy over them, they were wearing them all the time...
SIKE! They were actually originally men’s shoes and women wearing heels were considered - uh - MANLY
And some men actually complained about women stealing their ultimate attribute of manliness.
Which was high-heeled shoes...
The OG high heels also had a red bottom, which you may nowadays can be found in the manliest of all shoes -
- the Louboutin heels.
Well, at least they didn’t put too much care in their hair, as men nowadays with all the gel and...
Oh, WAIT. When ladies put their hair in simple modest buns and covered it with caps,
men went F**KING FERAL WITH THEIR GORGEOUS, VOLUMINOUS LOCKS.
Understandably, a lot of them wasn’t born with a shampoo commercial mane, so they wore wigs.
Back when women didn’t. Because it made them look a lot. Like. A. Man.
Coming up next is 18th century, but I’m worried you might not like it either.
Not only did men wear heels and stockings for the most of it, they also were covered almost head to toe with embroidery
- often FLORAL - and lots of lace.
Did they powder their hair? HELL YEAH.
Did they style it in neat rolls and ponytails? HELL YEAH.
Did they obsess over the most luxurious silks for their outfits? YOU GUESSED IT. THEY SO DID.
Colors? Bold. Make up? Subtle. Hotel? Versailles.
*cringes* That was so stupid, I'm sorry
True, late 18th century and 19th century fashion is another story and men did in fact wear trousers
and mostly toned down color and simpler garments.
That is, unless you mean macaronis. Or dandies. Or night caps. Or crazily patterned waistcoats.
Or fashionable jackets with nipped waist. Corsets to make you fit in those jackets. Straight up ballet flats with bows. fancy neckties. Stockings
for evening wear. Leather boots. Extravagant capes with fur collars. Well, you get the idea.
So guess what! For the vast majority of the human history, Western manly men that you so like to
refer to wore dresses. For the vast majority of human history, men wore make up. For the vast
majority of human history, men styled their hair or wore wigs.
They did ballet. They learnt to move graciously. They wore corsets. Lace. Silk. Leopard print.
Frilly nightgowns. Bows. A lot of pink. Tasty pastels. And don’t even get me started on any culture that isn’t Western.
For the vast majority of the human history, men’s interest in fashion and their own appearance wasn’t
considered unmanly - it was a sign of wealth and power. Fashion evolves and changes and no
matter how much you’d like to, you can’t make people wear things
that YOU personally consider more MANLY.
Because if it wasn’t for the ever changing fashion, you would still be stuck with long robes and silk stockings.
So next time you all manly men you complain about Harry Styles wearing a skirt, think about how not so long ago,
all the MANLY MEN you’re referring to would probably decapitate you for not looking manly enough.
And on this bright note, this rant is finished and I need to go and 🎶eat someethiiing🎶