when i think of social media and anxiety
i mean
holy moly that's like a loaded question
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personally what's affected my anxiety
the most
is the the amount of negativity that i
see
there's just literally too much like
i find that the more i'm looking at a
screen the more detached i feel
with my own body or to like what's
happening right in front of me
my relationship with social media is
you know a bit addictive right now which
i don't like and i'm not proud to say
that
but i also feel like that's something
that probably most of us can
relate to like i don't like that i feel
the need
to have social media in the first place
there really is like no escaping it
there's plenty of research out there
that really demonstrates
that social media acts very much
like an addiction it stimulates the same
part of the brain as substance use
so when you think about it you are
always looking
for that positive reinforcement right
the idea of what could happen whether
you're going to get a like or whether
you know somebody's going to repost you
really keeps you coming back very much
like an addiction right
i don't know is that something just as
society we're conditioned from like a
very young age
to like feel like we need that
validation that sense of
not getting that enough positive
reinforcement from our home
environment not feeling rooted allows us
to really look outside of ourselves for
our reward and i think that social media
really
pulls for that it's so interesting that
you say that because a lot of the
feedback if if it is negative that i've
ever gotten
is like oh you're setting a bad example
or this is horrible that i wouldn't want
my
kid to see this or what do you think
when parents say for example to you when
they say you know you're setting a bad
example for my kids
i don't know how much you know about my
family or us but there's there's an
assumption of the kind of people that we
are or who we are
that i could say pretty confidently is
pretty inaccurate
i mean i i we have a reality tv show so
a lot of people know
a lot of our lives but i think that
there's still
such a lack of actually knowing our
character who we are
when you think about even even a reality
show is going to show the highlights of
your life right and when somebody really
thinks about like keeping up
how do you keep up with the kardashians
right it it is
obviously either can be used as a
motivation to be your very best
or it can be used as an impossibility
if somebody's really struggling with
identity issues right and with
confidence issues the idea of keeping up
with this image of somebody that you
admire
may really seem impossible and perhaps
that's part of the
sort of rationale as to why for some
folks you can check me by the way
you can totally sit here and be like
this is what this is what people think
can you give me an example of a time
where you kind of have
like would highlight a peak moment of
anxiety that is related to social media
for you
something that like boils my blood that
like really frustrates me and like
i think upsets me the most is when it's
someone
claiming a false narrative for me the
internet i guess bases things off of
such small moments yes with no context
right they don't know the before or the
after and they'll take that
and run with it and then completely
judge you based off of this one little
thing
well that's the thing i think there's a
certain loss of control of your own
sense of self and i think that people
can kind of
edit it to their own to fit their own
purpose
and to fit their own sense of reality or
lack of reality
and then you just become like a canvas
upon which people project their own
stuff onto
and it's got to be really difficult i
think that that's probably very similar
to what
children feel when they're bullied
online you know you post something
and then somebody can take something
that you might give them
and really distort it in such a way that
comes back is very aggressive
you know i pride myself on being a
pretty decent human being like i don't
think i'm a bad person or anything so i
wouldn't i'm not saying it's
you know something actually bad that i
would have posted or whatever it's just
it's
something as simple as they didn't like
what i looked like in that photo and i'm
sure that
getting that type of feedback does
something to you yeah that's something
to your confidence like
even even kendall jenner i'm sure
getting that type of feedback does
something to you
how do you feel when you get sort of
that type of critical feedback i have
moments of feeling like i'm breaking or
feeling like
i can't take it anymore because
sometimes it does
feel it like it just i can never do
anything that
right sometimes it replaces everybody
right so so this
this period of intense anxiety for you
um it seems to me it's a perfect example
of this sort of
separation of yourself here's the
candle at home little young girl who
is now being pushed on the world stage
having to sort of play
this role out knowing that your image is
going to be out there for
everyone to consume there's got to be
sort of this judge
so how do you think that has uh that
that projection of
you in social media how has that
affected your
ability to really kind of feel anchored
and connected to your
say authentic self for lack of a better
word right well
it's just interesting because there are
first of all so many images of me on the
internet ones that i'm fine with and
ones that i don't necessarily like you
know what i mean and
a lot of the times the ones that i don't
like are the ones that
get more attention because they're the
ones that everyone wants to kind of take
and
rip apart so i think that i've become
numb to all of that in a way that took
time though and that took a lot of like
talking to myself and and you know
hyping myself up and
because of social media everything is
highlighted
everything is heightened whether good or
bad i feel
like most of my social media anxiety is
actually more
the overwhelmingness of it all over
stimulation
right you realize that our brains are
really not designed to be bombarded by
all the stimulus
that's coming our way all of the time
what is
actually like psychology like what is
happening what's happening in certain
brains right yes
i think you know that the sense of
overwhelm is very real and that
there's a point in which the brain can
no longer process
all the information that's coming our
way and so there's an actual
shutdown very similar to what happens in
a trauma response
it stimulates that sort of animal
impulse of fight flight or
freeze response and if we can't process
everything that's happening
then we start to freeze and we start to
feel like
we're no longer in the world so there is
a sense of derealization that happens
and you know i think with
with covet uh really keeping young
people
out of relationships and social
interaction
we don't have that human connection
anymore which i feel like
we as human beings need it well that's
the ultimate irony isn't it that the
internet can the social media can really
allow us to feel like we have millions
and millions
of friends in the world when in reality
we could be very lonely right at home
and it's the sense that you start to
trade your real life
for the imagine life we're constantly
being bombarded by a new
role model or by a new standard of
beauty or by a new
a desire that we just can't quite
be adequate enough to meet and i think
this is the dangerous part where a lot
of
young people really fall into a hurtful
clinical depression
yeah that oftentimes leads into either
self-harm
addiction we've seen that addiction has
really increased during this time
or you know worst suicide i feel like
it's something that we're now like stuck
in
do you know what i mean like how do we
know there's no reversing
i hope that one of the things that we
learned from this is exactly what you've
said is that
there is a need for us to be connected
in real time
that kind of content is critical for our
well-being
yeah it's it's part of it has to be part
of our i think that's
one of our tips of the day is go give
someone a hug so something that i'm
asking all the professionals
on this series is just some i don't know
tips tricks
tools that you can kind of that the
viewers can take home with them or
they'll probably already help but
take away with them and really apply to
their life or their lifestyle
so i would say probably four tips one is
being
aware of your intention when you engage
in social media why
are you doing it why are you connecting
recognizing that
once you put an image out there
you may not always have control over how
that image is going to be consumed i
think a third recognizing that
addiction is very real in social media
and that it operates very much like any
other addiction
and so setting some limits appropriate
limits and boundaries is really critical
and and i would say lastly is set some
time for yourself
to really socialize with people stay
connected to those that love you
and really recognize that no human being
is an island
we are all you know human beings who
socialize and need to socialize
in order to stay protected yeah well
thank you so much
thank you this has been nice thoroughly
amazing i really have enjoyed being here
with you
i think it's interesting because a lot
of our conversation about social media
was how like overwhelming everything can
be and i think even
just talking about it was really
overwhelming like it's almost a sense of
validation hearing it from a
professional or
hearing it from a doctor of like okay
i'm not the only one that's
you know dealing with these thoughts or
emotions and
and how invasive it feels like in my
life
but it's good to be aware of it all and
it's good to talk about it and kind of
let it out and
then now you can be aware process and
hopefully move forward
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you