uh here ladies and gentlemen I don't know what's the matter with me but this
is the only thing when I got out of bed this morning I had to look forward to it's the uh
it's the fill is the caller there Donahue countdown calendar now Phil is moving his
show from uh Chicago to New York and each day as the magic time arrives or gets a little closer we
cross off another day and and Monday I'm really looking forward to because then we get to cross
off the entire weekend and he'll be in here uh early in December and they'll start broadcasting
out of this beautiful facility sometime in January so we encourage you folks at home to make up one
of these it's it's fun and it's educational we fell down here countdown calendar all right
tonight we answer our viewer mail in addition to having a fine program for you we started off by
responding to our fine viewers who have written in letters let's get right to it letter number
one says hi Dave what I want to know now Dave by the way these are actual letters from actual
viewers Dave since I know that you do a lot of hitchhiking around this country what is the best
line for scoring a free meal from an unsuspecting motorist thanks Dave John C McElroy Mobile
Alabama uh how about this I know where there's a shallow grave can I have ten dollars for dinner
good work all right letter number two that's true we we do a lot of hitchhiking Bill and Paul and
myself and sometimes Hal goes with us and we hitch all over the country it's a lot of fun
Dear Dave letter number two begins I've been a fan of you and Elvis Presley ever since the late 50s
uh would it be possible to show a one or two minute clip of Elvis Presley's entrance on
stage at the Hawaii concert that was a Magic Moment do you remember that Paul when it was
beamed by satellite all around the world I do remember that uh your friend Donald
J McCammon Fairview Pennsylvania uh well Donald I wish that there was something we
could do for you but uh that footage obviously is very expensive we don't own it and we would
really have to pay a lot of money but what we can do is give you the next best thing
yes it's another amazing impression by our own assistant Audio Man Al Frisch Al take it away
foreign
did you get goosebumps why didn't candy I thought it was uncanny nice job Al thank you very much
uh letter number three Dear Dave I thought you guys made enough money without having to
do without having to uh let's just start all over again for for the benefit of the youngsters tuning
in tonight Dave I thought you guys made enough money without having to resort to such carpet
bagging how much do you get for each so-called fan that joins OIC has an ad there from a magazine uh
can we see the ad again what does it say fan clubs Larry Bud Millman fans David Letterman fan club
jumbo Club package uh Chuck Schilling writes this letter uh this really upsets me the guy looks at
the ad right away he assumes it's a money making deal we'll Chuck I don't personally make one dime
from that fan club nor does NBC nor does anyone else we have one of those jumbo packages I'll show
you what's in it and then you judge whether or not it's a pretty good deal first of all here is the
okay let's see what you get for your six dollars
you're always looking for extra hangers right okay
here's a copy of American Way magazine the magazine of American Airlines
we have some complimentary wash and drives the moist towelette we have plenty of coupons
we have Saltines and we have packets of ketchup the total value of the fan club jumbo box 725
all right now by the way you know Paul whoever whoever's running these little ads they're weasels
and they should be hunted down and arrested you mean you don't have anything to do with
that no they're we don't know where they're coming from there are people uh Bootleggers
Outlaws uh nerdwells thugs punks have we sent in for an actual package has anybody sent in for an
actual jumbo packet we gotta do that yeah we should do that though right the guy's making
money he has property in Bel Air and he should be stopped uh so don't don't when you see an ad
like that don't don't waste your money on it we have nothing to do with it can I say that
yes all right but by all means continue to watch this fine program hahaha uh I've lost the will
to live I don't know what the hell it is I've just lost the will to live someone applauding
oh thanks man thank you very much yes I hope you're fading fast Dave goodbye [Applause]
you know on my damn cable system I have one channel now all I get
is a thousand cycle tone 24 hours a day
it's like a day-long test of the emergency broadcast system it's
okay uh ladies and gentlemen we're going to hose down the audience here
with ice and we'll be right back to meet the medical columnist Ruth Nathan Anderson