now Tim said is it okay that I can't
stop thinking about your eggs and Crest
growing competition and I'm seriously
thinking I will vote for whichever egg
wins so let's say to him you don't
deserve to vote died for us to vote but
not for you mate if that's how you're
judging it Tim would have gone straight
for the Snickers at now two weeks ago we
planted a whole bunch of eggs here and
we put cress in it and we thought maybe
it would predict the way the election is
going over a five-week period I would
say at the moment the Greens have
probably got the most amount of growth
of course virus is doing quite well and
I mean yeah Faraj breaks at Party
Labour's hanging in there slide coming
up so much SNP doing very well
the DUP not so much I've got a feeling
maybe the green isn't green isn't the
DPP have an orange man growing in the
garden it is going great guns you do
have to question whether with God God is
on the dup side looking at all right
before we kick off everything about the
election I want to tell you two
interesting facts there's nothing funny
about these but I just want to tell you
these facts firstly Boris Johnson
reckons he needs to win nine more seats
to win a majority and get brexit done
that's the first fact here's the second
fact there are 11 seats in this country
that were decided by less than a hundred
votes in 2017 one of those seats was
decided by two votes yes Alex so strong
use of the word interest in you
[Applause]
I'm token I don't like to see ya like if
they were campaigning showed it don't
campaign so let's just go to their
houses just knocking it don't go what
you want next door to turn their music
then done I mean general genuinely this
whole election could come down to like
about 600 votes it is that time my point
being it doesn't matter who you support
these facts alone should inspire you to
get out and vote in a few weeks time now
Ross said is that okay that Jeremy
Corbyn and labor want to give free
broadband to everyone in Britain that
was the biggest year and I love that it
was revealed at 10 o'clock last night
they just put out this statement that
this is what's gonna happen tomorrow
labour promised that they are going to
provide free Internet to everyone in
Britain by taking control of BT's
broadband service which raises the
question do we want the government in
control of our broadband I mean I don't
want to looking at what I'm you know how
annoying it is when only one person in
the house has the password when that one
person is the Prime Minister what if
Jeremy Corbyn leaves the parental
settings on Brook is gonna have to phone
up the Prime Minister labour wanted to
lower the voting age to 16 didn't know
yep no wonder if I want it's a real out
free Internet
I've today we're gonna reign for the
year 11 schoolboy though
otherwise dubbed wanking two-man
concerns at the moment about how much do
you want the government in control of
various services but in particular the
internet you know are they going to run
the internet the way they used to run
the railways you're gonna get up first
thing in the morning and find out you
know there's a good service on YouTube
but the severe delays to Facebook
Twitter Email czar like nothing for 15
minutes and then three come along like I
figured so what they want to do is
they're trying to to help people I'm
gonna give everyone kind of access to
high-speed broadband and then hope that
it will kind of increase productivity
yeah but all they're gonna do is
introduce YouTube to a load of people
who've never properly seen it before so
all you're gonna have is to load more
people to work going if you've seen this
video anyway it's a little boy Charlie
Boris Johnson called the promise a
crazed communist scheme but then but
then in 2015 the Tories described it'll
Ed Miliband's plan to put a cap on
energy bills as Marxist and then adopted
it themselves two years later so there's
every chance they'll have their own
internet server in two years time called
we've always been asking Jeeves
it's the only government policy it just
sounds like the kind of thing a company
would do to get you to join like a three
ball but he might as well go our new
policy is six hundred three minutes or
like our new policy is we're bringing
back orange Wednesday's it doesn't feel
like a policy so it feels like Jeremy
Corbyn is having an argument with Virgin
Media and they've gone you think you can
get a better deal you go yeah I'm going
to nationalize
[Applause]
you